I am having to live with my soon to be ex husband until he agrees to a reasonable % of our home to leave. He has removed everything of his (and some of mine) and put it in his room, and added a mortice lock. He was arrested on Sept 11th for ABH on me and although I try to be brave I am scared of him. My room is on the ground floor and he now wants to get into the garden. I have said no, as I want some privacy today ( i dont feel well and just want quiet) and he is going loopy! I can hear him crashing about calling me names. He cant get in here as it is well barricaded! Its ok for him to lock himself in but not me!! An injunction order is due in the mail tomorrow so I dont want to face him before that. I could go out but am sick and tired of running away! Give me some strength please. Thanks
2006-10-20 05:42:30 · 30 answers · asked by puffy 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I bought my home 6 years before I married him 13 years ago. I put him on the deeds 5 years later, so why should I leave? I have done nothing wrong! HE is the one who has had affairs and is violent, but I am honestly not worried enough to run away and let him win. I have a great Lawyer, he hasnt bothered and has just said my Solicitor and I can go fcuk ourselves!
2006-10-20 05:51:10 · update #1
Ok he is in the shower so obviously going out! As soon as he leaves, so will I, promise. Thanks guys xx
2006-10-20 05:54:16 · update #2
Confront him??!! The last time I tried that I ended black and blue! Yes it was the first time, yes I called the police and they arrested him, then let him off with a caution 24 hrs later!!!!
2006-10-20 05:56:31 · update #3
The letter is a THREAT of an injunction and immediate eviction. Its not an order...yet.
2006-10-20 05:57:32 · update #4
you stick it out but I'm sorry to have to say this but you shouldn't be there on your own and especially in the morning when the injunction turns up you shouldn't put your life at risk you must have a brother or a good male friend that will stay with you if he went of on one by the time the police got to you who knows no man is worth taking risks for you must get a male there with you don't stay there on your own i know you are trying to be brave but at the end of the day your life is worth so much more i feel realy sorry for you and i admire you for being so brave good luck to you keep in touch if you need to talk to someone we are here for you and you take good care of yourself god bless i feel so worried about you get someone there with you please keep in touch no man is worth your life HOPE YOU ARE OK NOT HEARD FROM YOU SINCE YESTERDAY
2006-10-20 07:35:17 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Hi well if you are divorcing him, and he still behaves this way just keep ringing the police and get him arrested. If he is still in your home and violent with you then you need to get something sorted as i know you are standing your ground, but it is not a good situation to be in. Has he any intention on paying and % of you home because if he hasnt then you cant keep fighting it. You dont know one day he might snap and do something to you, it has happend loads of times, ex husbands killing there ex wives. The best thing for you to do is go and live with someone for the time being and then get your soliciter to sort things out , if he is good then you will be fine. But i wouldnt stay in the house a minute longer. He seems like a nut case and no matter what you say he will just get angry at you. You are not running away if you leave you are doing the sensible thing.
2006-10-21 03:28:24 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Call the police now,they should remove him from the property for the night,hopefully by the morning your injunction will have arrived and you may never have to see this sad case again.If he doesn't abide by the order call the police each and every time! It gets a bit wearing at times but any sign of weakness will be pounced upon and exploited.If you really do want this man out of your life forever it's the only way to go! Good luck.
2006-10-20 05:56:42 · answer #3 · answered by New Boots. 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is no solution to your problem. As long as you both reside under one roof you are in mortal danger every moment he's in the house with you. This was a very foolish arrangement, as I'm sure you don't need to have rammed down your throat.
Regardless who the house belongs to either you leave or you have him evicted. What good is a restraining order when he's one floor away and all you have between you and he is a door.
Leaving is a temporary solution however it will give you the time and the peace you'll need. To subject yourself to this kind of predicament will only lead to you being another statistic of domestic violence.
So...not a satisfactory answer I know but I don't see any alternative available at this juncture.
2006-10-20 06:23:37 · answer #4 · answered by Quasimodo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Listen honey, if you haven't already taken advice from others who have posted answers here stop dithering and pick the phone up to the police. Explain that a restraining order has been issued that he should get tomorrow and with a bit of luck they'll be able to take him and keep him in the cells overnight until the restraining order arrives for him. If he's been arrested once the police will have records on him so that should make things easier. THIS IS NO WAY TO SPEND YOUR DAY. If he's held overnight you can rest up and will feel a whole heap safer. NOW PLEASE PICK UP THAT PHONE and look after yourself.
2006-10-20 05:55:03 · answer #5 · answered by janebfc 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As you are in fear for your physical safety, your lawyer should easily be able to make an ex parte application for an occupation order and a non-molestation order. The court can order your husband to move out and not come back. If he disobeys he can then be sent to prison. It may be that this would only be for a short period, but hopefully it would be a sufficiently nasty experience for him to learn to control his childish temper tantrums. If it is not, he can always be sent back again. And again. And again, until the message gets through that thick skull of his. I imagine he is a. spitefully trying to upset you as much as possible while he can, and b. trying to upset you enough to make it worth your while to offer him more money to buy out his interest.
Press ahead with the criminal charges and think about bringing a claim for damages for personal injury. It sounds as if being ordered to pay YOU money would really hurt him. Make him realise that the more he makes you suffer, the more you will make him pay for it.
2006-10-20 11:05:03 · answer #6 · answered by Specsy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I honestly think the first thing you need is a restraining order and then another to keep him a distance away from your property. You can the proceed to finalize your divorce. if it is too difficult to seek and get these in the shortest possible time, i suggest that you move out and stay as far as possible away from him and wait for it. this is because if he causes harm, no amount and extent of punishment can restore you.
2006-10-20 06:03:20 · answer #7 · answered by Don Q 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My mom was kind of like you but not as bad. She had a house before she was married to her second husband and because she moved out first she lost the house to him. She kicks herself now for losing the house. But you need to keep in mind what is more important your life or this house.You can always buy another house but no one can buy another you.Just something to think about.
GOOD LUCK!!
2006-10-20 06:00:32 · answer #8 · answered by Debbie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hopefully once the injuction is served if he does not adhere to it he will be arrested & you will have some peace.
You cannot live like this. Being afraid for your life in your own home is scandalous.
Maybe, if he refuses to go & is not arrested, it would be better to just go & cut your losses. Maybe his violence will escalate in the future. Better off homless & poor than dead.
2006-10-20 06:53:19 · answer #9 · answered by monkeyface 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why don't you just call the cops on him as soon as he starts getting out of control? They will make him leave and it will be even the more better for you in the divorce.
2006-10-20 05:58:10 · answer #10 · answered by kandekizzez 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋