sometimes I can not keep up...We have Sex 3-4 times a weeks and sometimes at night, then the next day, Help. How do I keep the desire there on my part? We have been together for 15yrs and just both turned 30.
2006-10-20 04:58:05 · 29 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
IF WE DID NOT HAVE TWO KIDS WE WOULD DO IT MORE!!!!! BECAUSE SOMETIME THAT IS A EXCUSE FOR ME.
2006-10-20 05:19:26 · update #1
THIS IS FUNNY MY HUSBAND GOT SOME VIGRA FROM A OLD MAN AT WORK AND I TOSS IT......HE WAS GOING TO TAKE IT. HA, HEE.
I TOLD HIM YOU CAN TO KILL ME.....HEE, HA,
2006-10-20 05:38:26 · update #2
when you say desire on your part do you mean emotional/sexual desire or physical ? I ask this because you say you "can not keep up" and that sounds like a physical thing. In that case read
Great Food, Great Sex: The Three Food Factors for Sexual Fitness (Hardcover)
by Robert Fried, Lynn Edlen-Nezin
available at Amazon.com.
Add to that a good regieme of excercise and you will be able to wear your husband out (and he will love it lol ).
If its emotional/sexual desire: that means you aren't "hungry" for it after the 3-4 times either 1) talk to him for 3 times only or 2)
if you want to do it as many times as he does then find out what is sexy to you and ask him to do that. (ie more romantic foreplay longer in time: roses candles, etc). I am assuming you would want 2) if not then work out a number of times you would be both into it . Since he loves you he can tone it down a bit in that case.
PS all the best and stay in love forever. We need more happy couples in the West and kids where are the kids?!! hahaha I sound like your parents I bet --take care
2006-10-20 05:21:04 · answer #1 · answered by T. Watcher 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hmm, this is not the worst problem to have. And 3-4 times a week doesn't sound like too much to me. Sounds like you are not always turned on and in the mood.
After 15 years together your husband and you should be able to have an open honest talk about your sex life. You should broach the topic of going for quality over quantity with him. Maybe you guys could try some kissing and fondling sessions that don't lead to actual intercourse. Also if he is the one who always initiates, he may want to try backing off and letting you build up enough desire to initiate. But the key here is for you to talk to your husband about this. Obviously he is still very attracted to you and that is great, you just need to work out a frequency that works for the both of you.
Also, if you are feeling lessened desire for sex, go get a physical to rule out any medical reasons.
Good luck!
2006-10-20 12:30:14 · answer #2 · answered by aibnyc 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The key phrase in your question that sparks an alarm is "How do I keep the desire", this is not just your responsibility. You need to put some of the responsibility on your husband. Do you frequently climax or is it wham bam thank you mam and you are left feeling unsatisfied?
Everyone listen to this and memorize it especially you Men out there:
A Sexually Satisfied Wife = A Sexually Satisfied Husband
If the woman is loving it and being satisfied, then naturally so is the dude!
If you are anything like the average female you need a little extra attention if you aren't rearing to go right away. Talk to your husband about increasing the level of foreplay along with the amount of time spent on it. Make sure he knows what you like! This means that you have to know what you like as well. Men like to please so give him the opportunity to please you ;)
My last piece of advice...Give and you will receive! :)
Enjoy and keep up the good work!
2006-10-20 12:43:37 · answer #3 · answered by Gonzo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know what your feeling. My fiance and I have sex almost every night. And to keep the desire on your part is try and not go for it for about a week. Maybe this will help for you or not. But what I can tell you is that I went almost two months without it. And I was craving it bad!! And if you want to take my advice, try at least one to two weeks with out it.
2006-10-20 12:03:17 · answer #4 · answered by Love's Immortal 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In most partnerships one person will have a higher sex drive than the other. Here is the general rule of thumb: the partner with the lower sex drive should increase their activity to meet the needs of the higher drive. This may not be "fair" but it is definitely healthy.
But you need to talk to husband and explore ways to make you more willing participant like longer foreplay, masturbating him or giving him oral sex. Basically you are a lucky woman a lot of wife do envy you.
2006-10-20 12:09:39 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tough question, you should be reaching your peak in sexual desire and your husband should start slowing down. You guys sound the opposite. It may come to the point that you just have to tell your husband that you need a break. Maybe you could buy some x-rated DVDs and help him relieve his tension that way, but I will not guarantee that you will not get excited. Good luck.
2006-10-20 12:03:45 · answer #6 · answered by loser 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I encourage you to look at sex differently, It's not a job , it's not a bad thing it is a sincere desire to express love. Your man desires you and only you at this point This is good.
Sex is fun, feels good and is a stress releaver, I encourage you to get wrapped up into your sex life and enjoy it cherish it have fun with it be creative. Think of it as one of the things your good at and you can have all the time.
It is all mental
2006-10-20 13:29:04 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
thats brilliant! im 20 and was with a guy for 2years, barely managed twice a week. Keep it up youll miss it when its gone. To many marriages break down becasue of these probs, as people dont talk bout it. Make a joke out of it with him, you obviously know each other well enough.
2006-10-20 12:01:42 · answer #8 · answered by Jenni 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I feel for you but just can't reach you. I am glad my hubby and I "do it" everynite or atleast everyother. Be thankful he's doing it w/you and not looking else where. My hubby and I have been together 14years and we still have all kinds of fun. Just have fun with it. Try going out and meet and try to pick each other up like you don't know each other.
2006-10-20 13:42:18 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow you have one lucky husband , thats all I can say :)
The only thing I can say is maybe watch some pornography to get more in the mood for sex. Maybe that will help you keep up.
2006-10-20 12:02:28 · answer #10 · answered by six7foru 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋