we have been married for over 18 years been together for over 20 year with 2 sons ages 18 and 7 . i wonder if this is just a token
2006-10-20 04:53:28 · 23 answers · asked by daber m 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He may be doing it to get back at you cause he know it makes you upset and he knows how you feel about interacial dating and he wants you back
2006-10-20 05:01:16 · answer #1 · answered by Ms Drea 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
would it be better if she was of the same race? No way (and you know it) so do not mention 'race'. Fact is some other woman is sleeping wit your man. Now I believe unless you are divorced then seperated means you are still married so he is cheating. If he did not want you he should have divorced you so there is no mistake. Or if the seperation was just to see if you guys still love each other he should have kept his pants on until you two eitehr 1) work it out or 2) divorced. He is just complicating the issue now.
You need to divorce him now. honestly do you think if he "repents" and comes back to you he is trustworthy? As a matter of fact are you sure he has been faithful to you IN THE PAST when you were together?
Listen there are lots of God fearing good real men out there black and white and other colors too. Eventually you will find one. But if you are fed up with men then divorce his *** and raise your boys. That 7 year old needs his mommy. God bless.
2006-10-20 12:12:21 · answer #2 · answered by T. Watcher 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why is race still an issue..... our hearts all beat blood, our lungs all breath air, it will never stop with that question in your mind."why a different race?" It doesn't matter. You may have felt betrayed even with the saaame race girlfriend after all that time and effort put into the relationship and mothering his children. I would no matter who it was. Maybe he knew it would bother you and that made it even more alluring. why would it be a "token"? It's a person regardless... If your 18 year old knows that the race bothers you then won't he feel as though if he fell in love with a woman of a different race you woulldn't be happy for him? Maybe your sending a message to oyur 7 year old about race also, it will never stop.
2006-10-20 12:01:35 · answer #3 · answered by JODY b 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
With the whole race issue, it probably came as a surprise to you because see looks nothing like you (unless you have always been against such coupling and feel he is doing it to piss you off). You two where married for OVER 18 years. If you want to look past the fact that he has dated some one else, then see about the two of you getting back together, other Wise take your own advice an d get your hair and nails done and forget about him
2006-10-20 12:10:30 · answer #4 · answered by dumbblond 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Personally I think you feel betrayed by her race. You would probably still be mad if he was with a woman of the same race, but you mentioned a different race. So that seems to be the REAL problem.
2006-10-20 12:00:16 · answer #5 · answered by Just Me!!! 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
do you feel betrayed because he having an affair
or because he is with a different race
1- you are separate he can do what ever he wants and dates whom ever from what ever race she is from
2- being from a different race should not matter it who he fall in love with and if the person is respectful to your children that should be good anough for you
3- if you feel that he needs to take another race for a token than you must not think highly of your own race
2006-10-20 12:04:48 · answer #6 · answered by waiting for baby 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
how long have you been separated? it wouldnt matter to me the race of the woman. thats not the point here. the point is that you two are separated/broken up for whatever reason and he feels like he can go out and date which isnt wrong, but if he has been giving you the impression that you are going to work on your marriage and get back together thats a different story.
2006-10-20 11:57:36 · answer #7 · answered by MiaDiva28 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My ex husband did the same thing. I felt betrayed because he had an affair while we were married. The fact that she was a different race was irrelevant.
2006-10-20 12:36:33 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I personally don't see why race makes a difference in his relationships after you two split. A person's race has nothing to do with their personality. Which I assume you lack. Grow up! I find it hard to believe that there's still racist people in this world. It saddens me... I hope you can move on in your life and stay out of his relationship. Best of luck to the both you.
2006-10-20 12:12:10 · answer #9 · answered by drifet_18 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Likely, it would bother you no matter if she was your clone. It's tough to go through, and I've gone through it myself.
Maybe you are focusing on her different race to channel your hurt, instead of looking at her as just another person. No matter what race, religion, orientation, we are all human. I know that I, personally, went through a wide array of emotions towards the new girlfriend when this happened to me - "What's so bad about me that someone that unattractive physically is what he chose?", "What's so bad about me that he'd rather be with someone much less intelligent than with me?", etc.
It's normal to feel these things, but you *can* work through it in time.
2006-10-20 11:58:24 · answer #10 · answered by JB 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's probably having a mid-life crisis, and race most likely has nothing to do with it; other than that this female was the first pair of **** to cater to his interest. She's the token 'mid-life-crisis-mistress', regardless of what color she is.
2006-10-20 11:56:33 · answer #11 · answered by Leena Rosen 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋