In general, why do most relationships get old and stagnant?

Question

Why is there so much infidelity and divorce rate so high? Why dont relationships last and why do people have so many negative views on marriage kids? With one out of two marriages ending up in divorce why even get married? Is co habitation (living with someone) a better solution? Should unmarried couples even have kids?

Answer 1

I am in a very good relationship, thank God.

Divorce happens for good and bad reasons, so I can't say that it is wrong. Unfortunately, it is how the parents act after the divorce that hurts their kids.

Without a doubt, people who have negative views of marriage and kids should not get married or have kids. That should be a crime.

Our society is getting more and more "selfish". It is sad that people don't consider their spouse and kids when they choose to do something destructive.

I do not believe that people should have kids until they are married, but I do think they should live together before they get married.

I think a lot of divorce occurs because people realize AFTER marriage that their spouse wasn't really who they thought they were.

I am a firm believer that a person should look at a potential spouse with a magnifying glass before marriage, and put blinders on after the wedding. Be very picky and investigative before you get married, and accept your spouse's faults after you get married.

Also, if men accept that their wife will change several times during their marriage, and if women can accept that their husbands will never change...this will keep everyone happier. It is the truth.

Answer 2

I think, at least partially it stems from the loosening of the religious and social conventions - "what would the neighbors think" is not as critical a factor in making one's decision as it once was. I.e., when you have a real choice of whether to stay married or get divorced, divorce is bound to get chosen at least some of the time - as opposed to when it wasn't really an option unless you wanted to get stigmatized for the rest of your life. It also helps that men and women are on the more equal footing now; it's easier to throw in the towel and leave when you are independent financially.

I don't know if "co-habitation" is the answer; I don't believe that the marriage certificate is what makes or breaks the relationship. People who live together break up in the same manner as the married couples, but they are somewhat "invisible" to the statistics, plus married couples still constitute a majority of all long-term relationships. I don't see why unmarried couples should not have kids; it is their personal choice. Why get married? Well, why do anything? Any action you take carries a certain risk; usually, the greater the reward - the greater the risks you must undertake. Being in a stable long-term relationship (whether you call it "marriage" or not) is rewarding; and people are willing to risk a lot to try and reach this goal.

Answer 3

Hi Flav..................................
As you know, you're gonna get many answers from different people cuz this subject affects each person different and depends on their choices and what they feel comfortable doing.

I'd just like to say that, if some people hold the idea of Marriage so dear, it's fine being that's what they want!

There are different reason for infidelity and divorce being so high. You have couples who marry too young and go in it with the "honeymoon-phase" UNTIL they live life and wake up realizing it's a responsibility, then get scared off and want to run! Marrige isn't to be taken lightly!
There are people who don't want to take responsibility for working out their problems and take the easy way out.
Also, I think you will find that couple problems get out of hand, and one person or the other finds comfort in seeking someone else, like easing their pain for what going through. There is just so many things.

In my opinion I don't see anything wrong in living together without being married! Don't know why that was thought as being a TABOO thing, anyway! In a way, it's easier just to live together, THEN, that's just how I feel, personally.
Yes, I think living together is a better solution, given the divorce rates! Some need to face it that marriages aren't what they used to be, "back in the day!"
Maybe those couples kept working at it...... don't know.

It;s ok too having kids not married. But, AGAIN, I have my reasons and others probably have their own. Whatever works for people.

Answer 4

Relationships get old and stagnant because people don't take the time and put in the effort to keep things new and exciting in and out of the bedroom. They stop communicating. Often times people lose their individuality and just play the role of wife/mother, husband/father. They don't do things outside of their relationship, going out with friends, finding a hobby, etc. So that they'll have new things to talk about. With sex they'll stop experimenting and stick to what has worked in the past. They'll stop going on dates together, they'll stop touching, hugging, and holding hands. They stop doing corny love-filled things for each other. All this causes a relationship to become stale. People will seek out another person to give them the same feelings that their mate once did or they'll divorce instead of working on it.

I don't think there is anything wrong with cohabiting with your spouse instead of getting married. I am not religious (nor an athiest) so marriage to me is just a certificate. I think you can be married, commited, and celebrate your love for each other without actually getting married.
Because of my beliefs, I also don't see anything wrong with two people having children together if they are not married as long as they love each other, are commited, responsible and financially prepared to bring children in this world and work together to raise them.

Answer 5

Because people expect the "honeymoon" or infatuation stage to last forever. In truth, the mushy-crushy feelings only last a short time, and then you are left with just the person themselves, warts and all. If you aren't best friends from the start, you won't have anything left after the initial shine wears off. It's not just about making love or sharing a plate of spaghetti (a la "lady and the tramp"), it's also things like who's doing the dishes, getting the groceries, and is he going to be there to hold your hair when you are throwing up with the flu. As far as kids go-keep in mind one thing- they aren't necessary! It's OKAY not to have kids. It's not an obligation of adulthood. Good Luck

Answer 6

Many reason, one is that during the initial stages of the relationship they try to present themselves to the other as what they perceive the other wants rather that the person they really are. This facade can only be sustained for a short time. They also begin to take each other for granted, not showing or telling their mate their feelings. Also sex is not just something you do to attract a mate it is also in many cases something to keep the relationship alive and healthy. Personally I think children should be born of married parents in fairness to the children.+

Answer 7

most young people, im talking under 30, are shallow and selfish. they think that because they have sex it means love, esp. females. if a guy screws a chick and she comes back for more, he will give it to her, not because of love but it feels good and its available. the chicks tie emotion into it. thats why the double standard people joke about, guys who have many partners are studs, chicks who have many partners are whores. im not saying it right but thats the way its looked at. after awhile having sex with the same person gets comfortable not exciting, then it progresses to boredom. thus the divorce rate. the term "making love" is stupid. love is love and sex is sex. if you beleive otherwise your a weenie of the first degree. as far as having a child out of marraige, how selfish can you be. no matter how happy a child may seem on the outside, dont you think the kid wishes for a real mom and dad situation? if you cant make the commitment to marry you have no business with children. you people want a child for your benefit,not theirs. sorry about being so blunt here but i dont know how to get my point across otherwise.

Answer 8

It is because after a while of being with same person you fall in a rut doing the same things every day and sometimes you just want something different and then you go get it. That is why I feel the divorce is so high.

Answer 9

I don't know why people can't commit these days. I will not marry my boyfrien of many years and we have a chils and live together, because I am sure we will just get divorced. It is a very sad way to live =(

Answer 10

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