Me and my husband have been married over a year now.
He rarely spends time with me, he is always working on his car or drinking with his buddy's. I always make an honest effort to spend time with him and do stuff that he likes.He dos'ent do the same for me, he hates doing stuff i like. so we don't do anything together.
He gets so mad at me for going off shoping or hanging out with my friends ( I like to go,He likes to stay home). Then when we are around each other we end up fighting about stupid stuff.He is'ent romantic he don't like making love to me, I have to beg him.
He just likes to f**k. I feel like im the only one in the relationship.
I told him that if he don't want to make me happy I can make myself happy. He said that it hurt his feelings when i said that, I alway end up appoligizing and feeling guilty.
what should i do?
2006-10-20 04:37:24 · 23 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
do what he wants to do, and learn how to spell
2006-10-20 04:40:07 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi , well i think you need to have to sit down and actually talk to each other , there seems to be a communication barrier between you and your husband . You both should tell each other what is bothering you about the relation and come to some compromise , where you get to spend quality time together and time doing things you both like doing separately . Maybe your husband doesn't know how upset he is making you over these problems . If you cant talk and explain your problems to each other then you have some serious problems . You also need to make sure that you are happy in the relationship , you said you have been married for 1 year imagine if this goes on for the rest of your life , so tell him you are unhappy with the relationship you have at the moment and that he needs to listen to you and make an attempt to change the problems to make you both happy . If he is not prepared to change maybe he isn't the man you want for the rest of your life !!! all the best good luck :)
2006-10-20 11:50:50 · answer #2 · answered by Owie 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
*sending hugs* You can only do so much without getting something in return. My husband likes to do "guy" stuff too and that's ok with me if he also makes time for me. If he just likes to **** and you have to beg him to make love to you that just isn't right. Why would you want to beg? Why did you marry this guy? I'm assuming things have always been this way? Stop feeling sorry for yourself and guilty because of him. He sounds like a jealous, controlling, asshole. You deserve better. Talk to him about your feelings. Marriage takes constant work. Feelings, Trust, Love, and Communication are very important. It sounds to me like you are in love with him but he is just using you because you are better then him and a better person. Good Luck!
2006-10-20 11:48:59 · answer #3 · answered by Need Help! 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you had made a mistake marrying this guy, and he had made a mistake marrying you. What were you thinking anyway? DId you think he would change for the better right after you guys got this marriage certificate? Hmmm. Accept him, or move on; trying to get him to change will lead to fights, and probably a divorce eventually. If you're looking for someone who shares your interests and values, you're definitely looking in the wrong place.
2006-10-20 11:45:50 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
stop feeling guilty my hubby used to do that to me we have been married 5yrs. I would get so up set cause we fought all the time when ever we were in the same room we always ended up fighting. I got tired of it so I don't bother any more. He spends all his free time playing video games. and If I try to get his attention he gets soo mad so I just space it out forget about it. no use fighting cause it won't solve anything.
2006-10-20 11:42:19 · answer #5 · answered by cc 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he is controlling and immature. It also sounds like you guys don't have that much in common. Why did you marry in the first place? It ALSo sounds like he is trying to beat you down if you are the one apoligizing, this is part of the control issue. Girl, I would take your losses at just one year of marriage and move out. He needs counseling. You guys might need couple counseling. Are his parents still together, does he come from a broken home? We are products of our envirnoment.
2006-10-20 11:43:02 · answer #6 · answered by bubba 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd say some marriage counseling. there's no communication in your marriage from what you have indicated. And you shouldnt have to beg him for sex. Hell if it was me, and I was rejected... the next time he came around trying to get some I'd do the same back to him.
Id say get some counseling and/or seriously reconsider the serious question " do you really want to spend the next 50 years of your life living like this?"
2006-10-20 11:41:19 · answer #7 · answered by cawfeebeanz 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him everything you just wrote here. The best advice and to communicate, be open and honest, then you won't have to feel guilty, because you told him and expressed those feeling to him. So he should know where you're coming from. Then it's up to him to make that change. You're giving 150% while he's giving you half of that. He need to meet you half way.
2006-10-20 11:41:03 · answer #8 · answered by Maryjane 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The only thing you can do is to have a heart to heart talk with your husband. Tell him I need to talk to you, without you getting mad. Explain to him how you feel and tell him if things don't change then you will leave. You might also need to see a marriage counselor, I would try all my options, until they weren't any left. Good Luck.
2006-10-20 11:45:07 · answer #9 · answered by GreeneyedCowgirl 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should of made sure you both had allot in common BEFORE you got married. Sounds to me like you made the decision before you really took the time to get to know each other. Sad but if you don't get counseling now, your marriage is not going to last. Harsh but true!
2006-10-20 11:44:31 · answer #10 · answered by WENDY G 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Life's to short to be unhappy.Stop being available when he wants it.Go do the things you like to do with your friends if he gets mad just tell him well you don't want to do anything with me so I do it without you..Also sounds like your relationship is coming to a close it may be time to move on with your life but only you can make that decision
2006-10-20 11:51:30 · answer #11 · answered by Topper B 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋