I'm a polite well mannered girl at work. When I come home it seems I"m taking my frustrations out on him from the day. I say mean rude things and try to push him away. As if he would be better with out me. I totally love this man. When he meets me at work my stomach gets butterflys. When I walk in the door all I want to do is kiss him. get the drift. WE have a good relationship. I fight with him over money. Then I purposely started a fight over money. He was smoking a pack of cigarettes and has asthma.
2006-10-20 04:35:09 · 21 answers · asked by :o) 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Well, the best advice I can give you is pick your battles. Don't waste the time and energry on little things. We all argue, no one has a perfect relationship. It's like we're great, perfect and then bam here comes an argument that ruins it all, then we'r'e good and perfect again and so on.
2006-10-20 04:38:29 · answer #1 · answered by Maryjane 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
We hurt the ones we love because it feels safer. We know they love us so we can pour out the frustrations of the day to them.
Are you letting people walk over you at work so that by the time you come home you're seething? If so, then try to be more assertive with colleagues. This doesn't mean nasty but stating your point of view, after all they probably state theirs.
When you say you are a polite well mannered girl, this rings some alarm bells. Are you also polite and well mannered even to those who annoy or frustrate or upset you?
I think if you spoke your mind more often outside of the home you'd be less angry with your guy.
2006-10-20 04:47:46 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I know what you mean I do the same thing. You can't take out any of your frustrations at work and even though you don't want to you can't help getting annoyed by the ones you love because you know they won't fire you or anything.
I try to come home with a positive attitude and when he does something I want to yell at him for I hold it in for a few minutes and I am not as annoyed.
Now that I have calmed down some (not as high strung) its like he appreciates me so much more!! Good Luck and remember take it easy!!
2006-10-20 04:47:10 · answer #3 · answered by Ash 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Make your mind up...you love him or are you going to keep treating him like crap until he leaves you? Then you know what? Your next question to post would be "I messed up and ran my man off how can I get him back?" If you have a good one treat him as you would want to be treated Ok. We have a tendency of running the good ones off and putting up with the wrong ones and taking all their crap...Come on don't add to the bad rep women are starting to get. Pipe the attitude down sweetie especially if you have an attitude for no reason.
2006-10-20 04:42:02 · answer #4 · answered by tasgilla 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Start taking out your aggressions in activities like kick boxing and forget about trying to change him. If he wants to smoke he's going to smoke, you love him so don't let that be a constant cause of arguments. When you find yourself taking your aggression out on him, stop and tell him you're sorry and that you've just had a frustrating day (that it's not really him that's bothering you).
2006-10-20 04:40:39 · answer #5 · answered by Ring Ring Ring Bananaphone 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you are looking for attention. While you love him, he might not focus his attention on you as much as you would like.
It is also common for people to take out their frustrations on their loved ones, but important not to. Again, it sounds like you want to tell him about what you went through during the day and you do not feel that he is listening.
You will do best to make sure that you not only love him, but can fully communicate with him. While love is wonderful, it is not the only component to a great relationship.
You might want to consider couples counseling if you are really serious about your relationship.
Take care,
Troy
2006-10-20 04:41:01 · answer #6 · answered by tiuliucci 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Get to the root of your frustrations. Then try going to a gym and working out before you go home. Maybe that will tire your anger and keep things in check.
2006-10-20 04:38:37 · answer #7 · answered by voandginger 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would try making sure that everytime you came in the door from work, you come in with a good attitude. Just as soon as you realize you're being nasty to him for no reason, fully concentrate on reversing it and make a mental change. You are the only one that can change this.
2006-10-20 04:41:23 · answer #8 · answered by krazy_b81 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to work on yourself! try or learn to treat people like you want to be treated. sometimes we treat our spouse the way you remember how we see our parents treated each other. and you say you do not want to have a marriage like that, and you end up falling into the same bag. Sit your husband down and talk to him, tell him that you love him, and you want to have a better relationship, and we have to help each other, say I am going to try and treat you better, and if I get off course pull me up on it! lets try and work on this together. Now if you can't then you owe it to yourself to go for counseling!
2006-10-20 04:45:45 · answer #9 · answered by roseannetb@verizon.net 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
In psychology i learnt about displacement, that if at work or school we are stressed, but cant argue back it all builds up, so when we get home we take it out on people to mke ourselves feel better. I do it to my parents its not good.
2006-10-20 04:39:33 · answer #10 · answered by Jenni 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋