He's transitioning into a teen his grades are slipping and he has no interest in improving that I can see. He is preoccupied with games, R movies, hanging out, and staying up past his bedtime. He sneaks and turns the tv on in the living room when I'm sleeping. I have since turned on parental controls but I know this won't stop his curiosity. Am I wrong to be worried? I talk to him and let him know how important it is to do his homework and research for projects and he acts as if he's paying attention but I can see where his mind is wondering. He also tends to mouth off and has to be told several times to do something! I don't beat my kids, I take away things that matter to them the most sometimes for weeks but it still doesn't seem to work!! HELP!!
2006-10-20 04:34:40 · 6 answers · asked by walter K 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
i would bring him to see a family counsellor. he won't like it at first and will dis it every chance he gets...but it might help him to understand what his actions are doing to the rest of the family and how he can better deal with issues. sometimes as parents we are to close to the problem and need outside help. how bout looking into a getting a big brother. someone he can go do stuff with that will be able to help him talk about his problems. if all else fails you can try to see if theres some kind of boot camp for kids that you can look into that would help him see where he could end up if he continues with the attitude. it helps you talking to him. even though it doesn't seem like it right now. but he is listening. if just taking stuff away isn't helping then looking outside the household to get help might be what is needed. what you would do is go in and meet with the family counsellor first on your own. see if theres feedback he/she could give you on what you might be able to do on your own. sometimes they will go directly into your own household to talk to everyone. when i was a kid we had a family counsellor come in. i was running away and sleeping at bus stops. stealing from my mom. i was the middle child and he helped me to voice that i was feeling left out. my sister was getting treated more as an adult.......my brother as the baby.....and i was getting all the blame......course this wasn't entirely true....but helped me to understand how to say that and to work out problems with my mom in particular. all it took was for my mom to spend time alone with me. we started going for walks downtown and just talking.....going to a movie. just spending time alone with her helped me and i wasn't so rebellious anymore.
2006-10-20 04:48:21 · answer #1 · answered by Jody SweetG 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You aren't wrong to worry, you are just a bit late. Why on earth have you let a 12 yr old or younger kid watch R rated movies??? They are rated for a reason you know!! Obviously you have not taught your Son to respect you. 12 is young to start with the teanage stuff, usually it's 14 or 15. Is there a Father in the house? It doesn't sound like it. Since what you are doing isn't working, I suggest you try something else. A swat on the butt is not beating your child! If you don't get control over him now, you can imagine what he'll be like in another couple years!! There should be ZERO TOLLERANCE FOR TALKING BACK TO YOU!! It's up to YOU to MAKE him mind. Tell him ONCE to do something and if he doesn't then get up and MAKE him!! Take ALL the toys and games away!! Why would he want to do school work when he can play games. You aren't being mean, you are saving your child from quitting school and a life full of trouble!!!You are the boss and you need to act like one!!
2006-10-20 11:43:31 · answer #2 · answered by wish I were 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is called teenage years so hold on for the ride of your life. I have two in the teens and from experience all the bitching and complaining will get you no where. Just keep watching him and talking. Just keep talking, not yelling. Try to do things with him that he likes; not what you like. You are still his parent, but remember how you felt at his age. Good luck!
2006-10-20 11:39:13 · answer #3 · answered by Lost in Maryland 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
thats teenagers for you! no its not wrong for you to feel this way.....but hes becoming a teenager...its only going to get worse. and curiosity is part of becoming a teenager....so you arent wrong to be worried about your son, but this is what teenagers are like. but with teenagers you also need to set some boundries. like if he gets bad grades, gound him. you could use your parental block and block all the tv channels at night, so he cant watch anything....and dont kid yourself, taking away things does make them mad. so keep doing that, and also use the grounding thing. raising teenagers is hard- dont worry you seem to be doing a good job- good luck!
2006-10-20 11:44:48 · answer #4 · answered by Ellen 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can start by taking his stuff away and locking them somewhere you can only get to, ground him until his grades improve. It seems like he is testing you and winning, you need to take back control.
2006-10-20 11:41:21 · answer #5 · answered by Tab 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
put a little more authority into it .discipline may be a big issue here
2006-10-20 11:44:41 · answer #6 · answered by lyndi 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋