we've got married last year,i hv 2 kids from my previous marriage(I hv to support them..coz got nothing from my divorce)..Before I re married again..I worked..but now i'm so depending to my hubby,he's paying everything(also my kids)he has bad temper.When we fight sometimes he use violence&mentioned those things that made me want to work again..then I'll feel not guilty using his money,but so difficult to find a job..last time i got offered to do job but he won't let me..just like The bully..i'm the victim..but I can't do anything..so affraid coz we've just moved to another country,kids just moved school here etc..also I don't wanna make my parents get heart attack if they know what I've been thru' here..I don't know what to do..I'm so depressed..plus my hubby is a pilot then not seeing each other alot..like other couple..that's other prob,for me he act mysterious when he's away(flying) but I couldn't complain about it..i know,but i feel like he doesn't want to 100% share with me..HELP!
2006-10-20 04:17:32 · 13 answers · asked by lady 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
no matter what the problem is he shouldn't hurt you . the best thing to do is get a job because he want you to depend on him. you need to go get you hair done and nail and don't let him stay in your head. build your self back up
2006-10-20 04:38:44 · answer #1 · answered by daber m 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all.... run!!! As fast as you can, leave this guy that is making you feel so miserable and sad. Ask a friend, as you told you don't want your parents know the things you are going thru know, to let you stay in its home for a time while you recover yourself together. Second, look for a job, there is nothing worse for an abbuser than knowing you have no place to go 'cause you are no independent, and third, but not less important, look for professional advice for you and your kids, 'cause the way you feel, I'm pretty sure they are suffering the same or worst than you. Good luck!
2006-10-20 11:26:28 · answer #2 · answered by candywhiteandrew 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is Domestic Abuse. So happens October is Domestic Abuse Awareness month. He can not tell you if you can work. His bad temper is a HUGE red flag. Google Domestic Violence or Domestic Abuse. Abuse does not always come in the form of hitting a woman. Do some research, get your self out of the situation. Your kids will love you for it. You may struggle on you own for a while but a least your life will be your own. I would also suggest counseling, I think if you call the Domestic Abuse hotline, they can give you tips. Good luck
2006-10-20 11:25:22 · answer #3 · answered by bubba 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is a violent home where you want your children growing up? I hate to say this but you are making your children more than victims and they don't have the choices you do.
My first husband would not allow me to work, so I signed on with a temp agency and literally had to 'sneak' out of the house to work. His insistance I not work ended up being the only way he could control me.... Lots of insecurity, esteem problems of his own, and yes, anger and violence.
Please~ do something besides say you 'can't'. Your children deserve it from you and you deserve it for yourself. What is going to give your parents the bigger heart attack, finding out later you felt you couldn't go to them or getting a call that some domestic violent situation occurred because you didn't.
2006-10-20 11:29:22 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You said your in another country - do they have social agencies that can help you move out on a temporary basis?
If you were to call your ex-hubby would he at least take the kids on a temporary basis until you can relocate yourself in order to get them to a safer environment. I would most differently seek the help of a church or someone like that.
2006-10-20 11:24:21 · answer #5 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sweetheart, you need to start praying more, and reading more. It sounds to me like you think that you need him because you have nothing. Do not slave yourself for a man. You have a brain, and you need to use it. Start reading motivational books and business books. You do not need a J-O-B. You can make good money working as an independent contractor, real estate investor, or affiliate marketer. It does not take much money. It just takes good sense. It sounds like you have low self-esteem. I think that you need to start listening to and reading motivational things that will help you get out of this depressing state.
2006-10-20 11:33:32 · answer #6 · answered by ShacklesOff.com 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Iknow it sounds hard to do but walk away now why you can dont let this drag on 4 years to come it will only send you into a deeper state of depression and also its not fair on your kids
2006-10-20 11:22:44 · answer #7 · answered by stuckbetweenlove 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your question sounds like fiction.
If it is true, you need to contact your parents, and tell them what you are 'into'. They are probably worried, as it is. Parents never stop being parents. They may be able to help you get away from this dead end marriage and get to work.
2006-10-20 12:00:36 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
While he is away, get some of his money and RUN LIKE HELL BACK HOME!!! These situations only get worse over time and you have got kids to protect. The kids need to be your priority.
2006-10-20 11:23:29 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
find a part time job and save your money, then when it gets too bad, move back to your parents, and just tell them you need a break from him, and the other country.
2006-10-20 11:21:34 · answer #10 · answered by LittleLady 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋