to make a long story short. i was dating this guy. i didn't know he was married until i told him i was pregnant, then THE TRUTH CAME OUT! he's married but is trying to get a divorce. well, 1 year or so later my baby father is still married. which is ok. because i don't want his sorry butt no more. however, the question is this. why do you think his wife is still married to him? he said that he told her and she is upset about it, but is willing to work it out. what the hell is up with her! is she desperate or she doesn't care. and keep in mind, i have found out by investigating that he always cheats on his wife. they have always been having marital problems. but man i would be upset if i was the wife and found out not only he cheated but got a her pregnant. i would for sure get a divorce. quick and in a hurry. so, you all let me know why does she and other women put up with such behavior from men.
2006-10-20 03:44:48 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Breaking up a family is not easy. The mother has to look after her little ones and having them homeless is not an option.
Now that you have your little one you will understand that is not about YOU anymore, but about your helpless babies that need a roof over their head.
My guess is that she doesn't know. He is a liar and if he lie to you, he is lying to her too and continues to keep on lying to you both, Shame on him.
Good luck
2006-10-20 03:51:49 · answer #1 · answered by Blunt 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My, my.....what a moral point of view. Just out of curiosity, where was this when you were on your back with him? I find it fascinating that any person, male or female cannot even have an inkling that the person whom you've been dallying around with for over a year is married. What kind of life do you lead? Did he ever explain any long absences? How did he explain this? Did you ever care to ask and if so you never once thought this rather unusual? Just what do people seemingly miss or more probable 'ignore' in these relationships.
As for the wife, no one likes to be cuckold. however she may still have some shred of decency left and honestly wants to try and make her marriage work.
Finally my dear...there is no such animal as "trying" to get a divorce. You either do...or you have no intention of doing so...which clearly is the case here.
My question is this. How do YOU feel now that you've been used as nothing but a play toy all this time hmmmm?
You have no leg to stand on here nor any valid excuse for 'not knowing'. Besides...if you have found through (as you say) investigating that this so called man is repeatedly unfaithful...how did you miss the fact he was married. See? We're at full circle again.
2006-10-20 11:46:44 · answer #2 · answered by Quasimodo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well first of all what he tells you is just hear say. He probably hasn't told his wife anything. He could be living a secret life. If the wife knows about the affairs and still stays with him then she must not love herself enough to be with a kind loving faithful man. I would not worry about this unfaithful cheating man and his wife. The only thing you should be worrying about is that baby of yours and the child support you need for that child from his father. Move on and have fun.
2006-10-20 11:27:13 · answer #3 · answered by luvlisteningtomusic 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
His wife may or may not know the true facts. Just because he said he told her, doesn't make it the truth. You've allreay established that he doesn't tell the truth.
Your question is one that I've often asked myself. I have friends that know their husbands cheat and still stay with them !! I also have a couple of men friends that know their wives cheat and they stay with them. I've asked them all..WHY? I always get different answers but the most common answer is...I Love him,or her . I know that if i found out my spouse was cheating on me, that would kill the love I had for him, I know I could forgive him but I would never be able too forget it so my marriage would be over!
A lot of times I think It's a "Security " issue also, some women feel they are better off staying in a lousy marriage than being on their own, they are afraid they can't make it on their own. There are a lot of different excuse women give for staying, but in my opinion..They need too dump their *** !!
I want too commend you on getting rid of your baby's dad, you and your baby will be much better off without him!!!
2006-10-20 11:04:55 · answer #4 · answered by Rose T 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
We are all different and people are like that. It confuses me, too. By the way, don't forget to file for child support as he played so now he can pay for the next 18 years; married or not. His wife might be more than a little pissed off over the money which would be funny.
2006-10-20 10:50:31 · answer #5 · answered by acmeraven 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you did not know he was married, you have no reason to hide anything. You are the one who has to carry the baby around for ten months (and it IS ten months not nine). The easy way out is abortion and move on so if you decide to have it, good luck. Don't be ashamed just because he can skulk around with no ramifications. Have you considered adoption? How old are you and what is your financial situation?
2006-10-20 12:35:23 · answer #6 · answered by sillygoose 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If this man has money, she may be staying with him only for the financial security. It's possible she's just insecure and afraid to leave - doesn't want to have to date again - or start over. Or she may just be dumb and careless - thinking he will change and be faithful to her. Glad to hear you don't want him around - he's completely not worth it.
2006-10-20 10:50:49 · answer #7 · answered by Rachel 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Most woman stay in that situation because they are afraid of change and of being alone. Does she work, have children? Its a rough world raising kids on your own and its just easier sometimes to stay in a crappy relationship than to make it on your own.
2006-10-20 10:50:28 · answer #8 · answered by freakinlincoln91 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds as if the only one who was careless was you for not using protecion.
2006-10-20 11:06:26 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He told you that he told her but he probably havent told her everything. Thats why yes is still hanging on.
2006-10-20 10:47:53 · answer #10 · answered by **What??** 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋