I was married to my ex for a bit and now divorced over drug addiction. We have two kids together. Now, I am dating someone who I love. But I still love my ex too. (always will) Now my ex has kicked his drug habit and is doing so well! (2 years). My ex would take me back. And my ex makes a LOT of money. Enough so we could have a nice house and I could stay home with the kids. My current boyfriend makes an average salary. (not bad, but not a lot). It would NOT be enough for me to stay home. So I work full time. I do love them both in different ways. I could go back to my ex and stay home and would be in love with him but chance that he could use drugs again or I could stay with boyfriend who I know won't do drugs but work full time. What is more important here? I wish I could stay home with my kids and have a nice house for them....How important is money? Love or money?
2006-10-20 03:39:26 · 19 answers · asked by Bet L 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Well, it would not be good for my kids to be in a situation where their dad is back on drugs plus my family hates their dad so they would lose my family a bit where now they are close with my family and they love my boyfriend... I just don't know what is best for them????
2006-10-20 03:47:31 · update #1
SFGDSFHSFGH
2006-10-20 03:41:20 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's a really tough problem, and there isn't an easy answer. You have to decide, are you settling for guy #2 because you are afraid the ex will break your trust again (he might, drug addiction is an ongoing battle). How bad was it when the ex did drugs? Was he abusive to you or the kids? Will he do drugs in front of the kids? What is he doing now to make sure he stays off drugs? Does he still hang out with his old drug friends?If you feel that he's really clean now and working hard to make sure that he won't go back to drugs, then your support could be a big help. Don't let it be all about the money though. Will the money be worth it if he goes back to the drugs?
I'm probably not much help, but you need to ask yourself these questions. Guy #2 deserves someone who will love him and not just be settling. Your kids deserve to grow up in a stable household. When it comes down to it, you really just have to follow your heart. Best of luck to you.
2006-10-20 10:52:43 · answer #2 · answered by kat 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to weigh these things yourself.
What good is money if he starts spending it on drugs again?
What good is money if as a result of the drugs you have a dis-functional household around your kids?
What good is the money if he brings drugs around your kids?
One thing you need to realize is (depending on the drug) a person who can support their habit can have a relapse at any time. Two years is really not a long enough time.
Why don't you want to work to support your kids?
Since when do kids stay at home? Especially between school & recreation.
What's wrong with the house you have?
These things are all a factor, or what should be. Not MONEY.
Screw a nice house, make a nice home.
And that's something only Love & Security can do.
I don't incourage you raising your kids around someone who could have a moment of weakness and flip the script in one day.
Where is the security in that?
Best of Luck,
Drew Bryant
http://cheatingsigns.blogspot.com
2006-10-20 10:55:09 · answer #3 · answered by drew.bryant 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I think that the fact that you have 2 kids with your ex is a factor, so you need to look at that, you say that you still love your ex and he is the father of those two kids. So, it definitely would be better for your kids to live with their father, and the man that you are with currently would have to understand. But I honestly wouldn't make it about money, money is something that comes and goes, its the true love and security of your children that is more important.
2006-10-20 10:43:51 · answer #4 · answered by wantstoknow 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The answer is love, period. Everyone is concerned with whats in their pocket. What about the heart? No matter how much $$ you have or don't, money can't buy you love, not true love anyway. Someone might say they love you, pretend to, and use you up until it's all gone. Then what? I'd take love anyday and know that GOD will provide for the rest each day........By the way, those kids need love first as well, especially from you, whoever loves me would have to love them too, that would be first in my heart.........
2006-10-20 10:57:47 · answer #5 · answered by silhouette 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I do believe you love both these men, but anwer this question..Would you really want too put your kids through another divorce from their dad if he desides too turn too drugs again? Whats more important too you, money? or your kids happiness? Your kids should come first,.Money can't buy happiness, all it can do is give you things, all material things. You need too sit down and do some soul searching, take a piece of paper and write down all the things you love about your ex ..EXCEPT that he makes a lot of money..Then write down all the things you love about your boyfriend..EXCEPT that he makes an average living...Do this from the heart and I think you will have your answer..Good luck..
2006-10-20 10:49:58 · answer #6 · answered by Rose T 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I'm glad you are not my woman!. If you can even entertain the thought of going back your ex-husband (money or not) than you should because your current relationship is not going any where. The Ex-husband is the father of the children too isn't he? How is an Ex drug addict making LOTS of money (did he hit the lottery)?
2006-10-20 10:51:59 · answer #7 · answered by Daddy Big Dawg 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Drugs are a curse. Off one day and on the next. The addiction is always there and anything can set it off. Remember this also, when drugs are involved the house and all assets can be seized which leaves you with nothing. I can understand the love you feel but you have to temper it with reality and the welfare of your children.
2006-10-20 10:56:10 · answer #8 · answered by acmeraven 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes you know aht is best for them
this ? is not about them but you
you want your X money if you are smart you will get it not by getting back with him but by getting as much child support from him as possible
so for your kid sake choose the other that will not do drug and love you
2006-10-20 10:58:51 · answer #9 · answered by waiting for baby 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Where there is a will there ia a way. I choose love because you could provide your children with a good life nice house and all of thoses thing with or with out a man.
2006-10-20 11:01:25 · answer #10 · answered by Jax 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to follow your heart. Only you know where you would be the happiest at. Personaly I think if you still love your ex and since you have kids with him you should try and make it work with him. But like I said you are the only one that knows where your heart and happiness lies. Good luck.
2006-10-20 10:42:52 · answer #11 · answered by Jewells 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋