My ex and I were together for 4 years and have a child together. We have known each other for almost 10 years. Long story short i moved out for a what was supposed to be a 6 months periode of time and low and behold he started cheating on me with 18 year old senior in hs..(im 25 he is28). Caught him red handed and walked away...then we started sleeping together again causually...they broke up we got back together cheated again with her...they broke up we got back together and he cheated with her again. I know it sounds bad and an easy solution but I am very much in love with him and I still have to see him every weekend when he sees our daughter. We are still sleeping together and what not behind her back and whatever but its starting to bug me. Not only that I am getting tranfered to cali and he wants to come with..I really don't know what to do. I think he is just looking for a reason to run away from problems, but i want my family back...my daughter deserves that...i love him..
2006-10-20 03:27:13 · 9 answers · asked by MLP 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
He says he loves me and still really cares about me..and really doens't want me to go cuz he doens't know what he would do without me around and our daughter...but what I'm supposed to do wait....run the risk of getting hurt again or just say forget it and move???? I am so torn...
2006-10-20 03:30:20 · update #1
When it all blew up he kept telling me it was just a mid-life crisis...he kept telling me that he wants to marry me...be a family and what not but just needs to work through his issues....how long I am so suppose to wait for that to happen??
2006-10-20 03:37:14 · update #2
I can easily say give up & move on, but I won't. I won't because I find myself in somewhat of the same situation. The smart thing for us both would be to let go but like U I LUV HIM. One thing I can say is don't use you're daughter as an excuse because U both can still be good parents even if U aren't together. I moved to Colorado & left my son's dad in New Mexico. He's planning on moving back within the next week. So as U can tell I'm giving him 1 more chance, but honestly if he moves here & things still don't change then I really will leave him because this is the last straw, we've tried everything else. So I say move him with U, Let him know that it's absolutely the last chance, but prepare Your self so if things don't go your way. At least in the end U can say that u tried everything else. If u need to talk more let me know
2006-10-20 03:45:36 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know a woman who is 32 and she has 5 kids the guy she is with is the father of 3 of the children. He has been cheating on his baby momma from day 1 and he has given her a lot of std's. She has taken him back so many times and she has put up with this for seven years and despite all the things she has gone through with him she finally realized that he is no longer what she wants anymore. He is still cheating. Do you want your daughter to see you fight with him? You will be grateful if you are just friends but still let him see his daughter. He may still say that he loves you but he doesn't love you enough because he keeps doing the same thing to you and making you hurt. Would you rather move and then things don't work out then what? What do you do when you both make each hate one another?
2006-10-20 10:44:17 · answer #2 · answered by champagne13203 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry, but you need to move on. Why are you letting someone else decide what to do with your life? He doesn't love you and he sure as hell doesn't respect you or he wouldn't be doing it. He's happily having sex with 2 (or more?) women, and he doesn't want the situation to change, he's having fun, getting his pleasure wherever he feels like it, and feeling like a big stud because he has two girls who are silly enough to let him get away with it. He's living the good life while you are living a tormented, confused, sad life right now. You are giving him every bit of the power in the relationship. It's time to say good bye to him, before you lose respect for yourself. And what kind of message is that to be sending to your daughter, the way you are treated by men is the way she will let herself be treated by men. Tell her Daddy that too, he's not doing the right thing for you or your daughter. Move on, I know it's hard, but you really deserve better than this. Good Luck.
P.S.- And what if he brings you some STD? Do you really want to deal with that at this point in your life? You don't know who else he might be sleeping with, or if the 18 year old is faithful to him. She could give him something, then you'll have it, and what it's something forever, like Herpes, or worse, HIV?
2006-10-20 10:35:45 · answer #3 · answered by nimo22 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think a better question is "Give it up so he will keep coming back?" That's exactly what's happening. He cheats on you when your together. You cheat with him when he has someone else. This is the environment you daughter deserves? Stop being his casual sex partner. Only then will you really know what kind of relationship you have with him. Right now he says all the right things and you sex him up. Right now when your together he's sexing up someone else. And you enable all this cheating on you because you love him. You may love him. He does not love you. He knows exactly how to play you. His behaviour will not change until your does. Maybe then your relationship with him will be based on something other than sex. Maybe then there will be a realtionship your daughter can be proud of.
2006-10-20 10:40:18 · answer #4 · answered by JB 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This sounds VERY bad. VERY VERY BAD !!!!!!!!!!!!!!
One if he was cheating he should have told you. All 3 times or whatever.
Two, he should not be sleeping with an 18 year old, much less bringing his family problems to her. And vice versa.
Three, you were stupid to take him back, he is not honest so don't trust him. Maybe he has 20 other women too. How would you even know?
Fur, Its not fair to you and ESPECIALLY not fair to your child to do that sort of push pull thing, even if its every weekend. Its a sure way to really mess somebody up.
2006-10-20 10:34:15 · answer #5 · answered by kurticus1024 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You've become to tolerant of his actions. As long as you continue he'll keep coming back to you but only for a quickie. You need to move on. Your daughter can see both without you all being a couple. As your daughter grows up would you want her to feel this kind of relationship was okay.
2006-10-20 10:37:55 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
girl i say you go to cali. now there are 2 options. in both, you still go to cali. one, you can have him go with you, and yall both can start off new, in a new area, with a new surrounding, and no 18 yr ex. or you can, just go to cali by yourself, and you can start off fresh, and leave him in the dust. its california, a very refreshing beautiful place to live. you have so many hot surfers there too. but if you really want your family together, then try to work for a new life in another state. if all fails, kick him back home. but you wont know until you try it
2006-10-20 10:37:49 · answer #7 · answered by Miss Mai Tai 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, offhand, I'd say that he knows you very well. He knows that you will be there to accept him back into your bed no matter what he does...because you keep doing it. It might be nice for your daughter to grow up with her father around...but is he going to be a Daddy as well as just the father. And, are you going to let him keep poking it somewhere other than into you?
2006-10-20 10:31:59 · answer #8 · answered by IGH3Rat 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
were havein the same problem with my boyfriends mom... i dont think u should let him hurt u anymore then he already has he's already cheated on u to many times so he dont really love u if u love someone u dont cheat on them he just wants u around to fall back on... haney ur just his back up plan he dont want anything real wit u give him up dont hurt urself anymore...... love felicia
2006-10-20 10:39:37 · answer #9 · answered by Felicia G 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋