When I find them he says he steals them from my friends without them knowing. Kinda weird but I figured he was just being perverted and stupid. I told him it hurt me so he swore he would never do it again. A few days ago we got into a bad fight and he has been really mean to me. Also he has been hanging out with a guy who doesn't agree with our relationship. We made up but then I found this underwear last nite.. Do you think he's cheating? Am I overreacting? Should I give him space to have a harmless fetish or should I be more worried?
He is a good boyfriend to me other than that and I have no other signs that he might be cheating.
2006-10-20 03:19:38 · 44 answers · asked by Andy 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
By the way, he has a couple pairs of MY underwear too. I told my friends and they thought it was funny! Also in my opinion stealing underwear is not cheating. Cheating would be actually DOING something or TALKING to someone else sexually, fantasizing is totally normal.
2006-10-20 03:32:49 · update #1
Everyone else in our lives (besides thatone "friend") thinks we were made for each other.
2006-10-20 03:35:53 · update #2
LOL he has a whole draw! good for you two.
2006-10-20 03:39:23 · answer #1 · answered by !?!?! 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Thats a tough call. If he is addicted to porn then he is not happy with what you have to offer anyway. If he has an underwear fetish, then "soil" some underwear for him and stick it in there.
Some guys get off by sniffing it, others get off by master****** with them. If he is fighting with you a lot, then chances are that he is cheating, unfortunately.
Thats a big sign, especially if he storms out of the house afterward. He may be cheating with one of your friends that he is taking the underwear from. Watch him and your friends together and see how they react when they are around each other. There could be whispering, coy smiles at each other, and glances at each other too. See if they act nervous when you are around them as well.
Sit down and talk with him about everything. If he doesn't want to talk about it or shys away from the subject, then that is also a good sign.
Ask him what he likes about the underwear or if there is anything you can do to yours to give him.
If you really can't stand the fact that he has underwear or a porn collection, then give him an ultimatum. Tell him its you or the other stuff. If he chooses the other stuff, then he didn't really love you anyway.
I am sorry, that is the best advice I can give you.
2006-10-20 03:32:21 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all my boyfriend would not have a porn drawer. Secondly he may have a fetish with females underwear. Then again, it sounds like he might be cheating. Well here are a few other things to let you find out your answer. If he is hanging out with some new friends there coulld be a reason why. If he does things that are different from when your with him then he might be cheating the only good evidence is to catch him in the act but don't let him know you are watching him.
2006-10-20 03:30:18 · answer #3 · answered by champagne13203 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If your not completely sure that he hasnt had the underwear from before, perhaps an ex girlfriend, then i would question him. Personally i dont think that stealing underwear from your friends is a harmless fetish, thats kind of a violation, if you told your friends about that would they think it's harmless? I dont know that i would allow that behavior and i would question whether thats really his source, it seems strange. I dont think you are overreacting but I think you need to figure this out, if you ignore it, it may just come up again until you cant take it anymore. I would really reconsider this relationship and why he feels it is necessary to steal underwear from your friends. Good luck, i know it isnt easy.
2006-10-20 03:26:03 · answer #4 · answered by capa13 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Porn drawer? I would not even be with a guy who has a porn drawer. Next thing you know he will be wearing them. Have him as a boyfriend. But don't have kids with him. Unless you want your children to come across this collection of underwear. And then you will have some explaining to do. If its a fetish he should be able to give you all information on where the fisrt pair came from. That includes phone number and name. If he does not. He's cheating.
Good luck to you.
2006-10-20 03:32:49 · answer #5 · answered by X-Woman 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you can live with this guy stealing your friend's underwear and lying to you, then stay with him. He swore that he would never do it again and he did it again. Do you really want to live with someone that lies? Can you trust him? He is probably cheating and taking the underwear as a trophy or something. If he is hanging out with a guy that doesn't like you, how do you know they aren't out finding women? If you really want to find out what he is doing, hire a private investigator or borrow someone's vehicle that he doesn't know and stake him out. Call the show Cheaters. They will find out for you. Good luck!
2006-10-20 03:31:09 · answer #6 · answered by Xena 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You know your spouse better than we do. But They're so many signs of cheating that they can't all be placed here. Instead I point you in the direction of my blog specifically covering the "Signs of Cheating"
http://cheatingsigns.blogspot.com
Other than that, I don't think you have anything to worry about if it's a porn drawer. It's a lot to know if someone is lying and I couldn't tell you based on the information you gave.
Regardless of all this, if you told him that the panies hurt you or make you insecure and he said he wouldn't do it anymore then give him a chance not to. But if he does it again, you might want to suspect something.
Hope this helps.
Best of Luck,
Drew Bryant
2006-10-20 03:29:37 · answer #7 · answered by drew.bryant 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, this panty thing is a big old red sign right in front of your face that it is a sort of cheating; it will lead to more cheating on a bigger scale later on. Importantly, it seems that you are choosing to ignore it and make up an excuse that it is a harmless fetish.
Remember that life is all about choices, and it is your choice to leave or stay.
2006-10-20 03:36:34 · answer #8 · answered by doggoneit 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know that the panties necessarily means that he is cheating, but this so-called harmless fetish is turning into something that is jeopardizing your relationship...especially your happiness.
He may as well be cheating.He has a porno addiction. Plus, the fact that he has a friend that doesn't agree with your relationship...what is that all about? Your b/f should set him straight or tell him to get lost.
No, you are not overreacting.
2006-10-20 03:23:56 · answer #9 · answered by ? 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I think you should be worried. If he is your boyfriend then he shouldnt be wanting anyone elses underwear. That is disrespecting your relationship. I think he might be cheating and as long as you keep believing his little lie he will continue to cheat on you. I think having another womans underwear in his drawer is cheating.
2006-10-20 03:24:38 · answer #10 · answered by MonaLisa 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Many years ago I had a fetish like that. I collected girls panties as trophies. Every pair I had, the woman gave them to me after sex. How is your B/F getting his? From the store? A girls house? Or like me off a girls body?
*P.S: If he is a good boyfriend in every other way you may want leave the subject alone (if you can deal with it). Remember never ask a question you can't handle the truth to.
2006-10-20 03:30:25 · answer #11 · answered by Daddy Big Dawg 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋