anyone give me your opinion?

Question

as some of u might read my husband cheated on me and we have a 15months old i am taking it really hard but here trying for the baby,mean while my ex from high school told me about my husband cheating he emailed me cause he thought i should know. So,now I talk to him sometimes and he really still cares about me although i did so much to him cheated him and when he went of seas we ended up seperatin.His family hates me so he says we would never be able to be together.Its hard feelin like a love from the past cares more then my husband anyone out there got any advice.Should I stay in this marrige and try to forgive and get over what he did or should i just get out on my own.And does anyone think I should to work things out with my ex if i get out or just start all over. By the way my husband only cheated once that i know of but i cant understand why and how he could take a chance or not seeing his little girl grow,things where not that great before we have sep,rooms most of our marriage

Answer 1

How do you feel about what he did? thats the biggest question in all of this and only you can truly answer this honestly.
Do you feel that you could try again? Can you forgive him his indisgretion of being with someone else?

have you sat down and talked to him about it? Both of you have to have a heart to heart talk to figure out where this is going.
The only way to resolve this kind of conflict is by open discussion with each other.
I think that might be your best option for the moment
Communication is the key to making a marriage work.

Sunshine Wishing you well

Answer 2

Sky,

First ...ask your self how credible is the report of cheating ... is the ex-helping or just tossing mud at your family? If it is a valid "cheating" ask your husband why ... but when you confront him ... give him the who what where & when of the encounter .... do not reveal your source (just say the chick network told).

See if you feel the relationship can be salvaged. Trust your instincts ... you do have a child togeather .... If it feels right work out the make up rules and start fresh ! If you feel uncomfortable ... perhaps a more significant change is appropiate.

Either way make your decision based on you, your child and your family.

You could always put a "Life and times of Loreana Bobbit" Book on the night stand ...that should get his attention.

Feel Better...... Lots of folks go through the same thing. If it don't kill ya, it will make ya stronger !

Answer 3

It sounds like you don't have much of a marriage too begin with. I think you should get out of this marriage and start new. I doubt if you should start up another relationship with your ex from high school, he's allready told you that you two would never be able too be together, I guess because his family hates you. That would be enough for me not too want too even try too start a relationship with him again, because if he wanted too start a relationship with you he really wouldn't let his family stand in the way of that.
Your husband cheated once that you know about, he will no doubt cheat again, that's sad too think about, I know, but It's a proven fact. And you need too realize you will never figure out WHY your husband cheated, men and women have been trying too figure that one out for years ..Don't blame yourself, and stop wasting time in a marriage that is heading for divorce anyway. Get out and make a new life for you and your little girl, you and her both will be happier. Good luck in any decisions you make.

Answer 4

Well first of all 2 wrongs do not make a right.it sounds like there are a couple of issues here.one you must figure out who do you love of the 2 men,your ex from high school or your husband and his family is not a concern this is a matter between you and spouse.his father should think about his granddaughter not his son ,because you both created this situation.I would say if you both still have feelings for each other then you should seek counseling and put the family together,if he is not willing to do this then cut your losses and seek counseling for a divorce,child support and move on.the ex school mate should have never got involve,he had a hidden agenda especially if he knew about the cheating.

Answer 5

Fisrt of all, don;t cling into anything just because you are vulnerable now. Your ex is being kind to tell you, but leave it at that. You are a married woman and should not be seeking romance elsewhere.

About your husband, you seem like both of you are very young. This happends when you are not mature enough to accept the realities of marriage and parenthood when your peers are out clubbing and dating. If he cheated already, he is likely to do it again. A mature commited real men don't do that, he is just inmature and not ready for this responsabilities it seems.

If you are not happy with your relationship and find yourself fantasizing about others, then it's a clear sign that your marriage is failing. You should consider ending your relationship, it seems like you are not connected since you've been sleeping seprately.

It's ok to accept failure and to admit that you are not happy and move on. It's of fools to keep on being miserable and accept cheating and neglect.

Good luck

Answer 6

Not to be hard on you, but I think your ex was getting back at you. You cheated on him. You hurt him and now he's found a way to hurt you back. Get it? I've never cheated and could never cheat and I hope that I never get cheated on, but you're dealing with "What goes around, comes around" As far as your marriage, that's your call. Honey, you can forgive, but you can't forget ever! How can you look at him in the eyes? You'll be thinking of that other girl all the time...I couldn't do that....

Answer 7

Okay, for the baby's sake, please try to get back with your husband. And it really doesn't matter if his family doesn't like you. If you can forgive him, then by all means, just do it and have a heart to heart talk with your husband about the welfare of your child. I know several cases where this same thing has happend (different circumstances, of course), but they got back together for their child and turns out it really made the relationship stronger. However, if you try but can't bring yourself to forgive, then don't go back to your ex, start over, but start over in a hurry. This is the start of a critical time when your child needs a father figure in his life, or he just might turn gay. when you start over, don't rush the new relationship if you get it, just rush to find it.

Answer 8

Sounds like you need to just o it on your own for awhile. I mean sep rooms is bad enough. Sounds to me like your just used to how bad things have been so you are taking it in stride. As far as the high school ex just leave that alone also. You dont need te complications right now Make a plan to get out on your own and maybe things will work out one way or the other.

LIFE IS SHORT AND TO BE ENJOYED NOT SUFFERED THROUGH

OH Ya Stop punishing yourself we all make mistakes and F@#k up but htat is how you grow.

Answer 9

If things weren't that great before then maybe there isn't a chance to work things out. But if you love your husband and he loves you and you two are willing to work at making it then give it 110%. If it doesn't work after your attempts then at least you didn't just throw in the towel. Forget the ex...stop talking to him. And why would he tell you your husband cheated? Did your husband admit to doing it?? It wasn't his place really--seems to me he is just stirring the pot so to speak.

Answer 10

if they cheated once, and was forgiven for that, you can bet they'll cheat again, dont use the child as an excuse to stay in a relationship that makes you miserable, what good is that for the kid growin up, my opinion leave the bastard go on with your life, he will always be the babys dad, dont deprive either one of the others companionship, although this will show just how much he wants to be in the kids life, he'll either be there or not, regardless if you choowse to stay or go