we are going to try to make our marriage work out any advice?
2006-10-20 03:07:37 · 31 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
my heart goes out to you sweetie i am here any time you nee to talk just email me i went thru the same thing 12 years ago but mine had a child with his girlfriend we have been married 13 years and i have an 11 year old stepson but any way don't throw it up in his face i know you cant forgive right now but time will heal the wounds just talk to him if it gets to weighing on you to much don't yell and curse just talk normally and try to trust him to a certain extent not all the way he has to earn all your trust just don't hold it in talk to him and try your hardest to make it work if i can do it you can just remember men need to feel they are all that matters to you in the world if he feels that way he wont stray anymore please try to make it work and like i said i am here if you need me just email me the best of luck to you
2006-10-20 03:20:29 · answer #1 · answered by Waynes Angel 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The first time it's his fault, the second - it's yours.
Re-buidling trust in a relationship is very hard, but it is indeed possible. There are many steps involved, though, and you will have both a hard time.
My advice would be, I guess, try to figure out what happened. Don't just try put it behind, learn the reasons. When you've learnt why, you can both work on it. You'll have to communicate a lot. Always talk, always speak up your minds. If there's something wrong, or if you feel a way or another, or if you have a problem with something, then share it.
If you both love each other, then give yourselves a chance. But if after trying really hard, you realize it's not going to work, don't force the marriage to work - it won't.
The best of lucks girl, I hope you can find peace within yourself and overcome this. It'll be hard. But when someone is truthfully sorry... they make up for it.
2006-10-20 03:19:27 · answer #2 · answered by Birmingham293874 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
My Husband Has A Girlfriend
2016-11-09 19:17:08 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well if your mind is made up then I say GO FOR IT! It's not impossible to work these things out and get past it.
First thing I would suggest doing is talking about why he felt that he needed another person. What was missing? Find this out FIRST.
Men have the tendency to cheat for so many different reasons and a lot of times it has nothing to do with you. So try not to feel inadequate. I know it's kinda easier said than done but it's vital if you are ever going to let the past go and move on.
If you don't feel you can do that then you might want to move on or wait until you can. That is probably the single most important thing when trying to regain trust in a person.
If you think you can do these things, then try it out. But if you ever suspect cheating again, you might want to read up more in-depth on what you can do.
A great resource is... http://cheatingsigns.blogspot.com
Best of Luck,
Drew Bryant
2006-10-20 03:39:09 · answer #4 · answered by drew.bryant 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, first your husband needs to dump the girlfriend. Second he needs to review his marriage vows, especially the forsaking all others part. Third ask yourself do you really want to stay in this marriage. Try to come up with 10 good reasons to stay and none of that lazy "well I've invested so much time already" crap. That is only acceptable for people over 80. If after careful consideration you think you marriage is worth saving, go find the most reputable marriage counselor in your area and make an appointment.
But think long and hard about this.Your husband has a girlfriend. That is much more serious than him having a one night stand or a fling. A girlfriend means he is emotionally, romantically, sexually invested in another person. That is a huge breach of the marriage vows on his part. And it shows a large level of disrespect and disregard for you and your feelings. Marinate on that for a minute and then make your decision.
2006-10-20 03:18:35 · answer #5 · answered by aibnyc 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
My ex and I tried to do the same thing. However, it did not work. I believe the only reason he wanted to try was because he felt guilty and did not want to give up everything we had. The difference between a one night stand and a girlfriend is that he has feelings for the girl. I think that was the hardest thing to deal with. When your spouse gives himself to another person that way it hurts like crazy. My advice - find out the extent of his feelings for this girl. Make sure he is truly commited to you and your relationship. If he is not you will end up hurting again.
2006-10-20 03:15:32 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Lay ALL of your cards on the table and talk it out. It'll help you figure out how you feel about it, and it will help you define the platform that the rest of your marriage is going to grow from. It's important that you both know what to expect from each other, and make sure that you are both aware of the other's feelings, whether they are good or bad. And from there, NEVER keep under wraps what you are thinking or feeling. This way you can address any dormant resentment or hidden feelings. Also, the good has a chance to come to the surface.
2006-10-20 03:23:34 · answer #7 · answered by Sweet Belly 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
ok fine so the guy is weak, but if you want to stay with him you have to accept that and choose him for it. There must have been some reason for him finding someone else, and its not about blaming yourself it could be anthing from personal insecurity to a raging sex drive, maybe you dont talk enough i dont know. The point is you need to figure out the reason and make sure it doesnt arise again. But dont ever forget, remember it can always happen again.
2006-10-20 03:10:52 · answer #8 · answered by Hamza 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Has he gotten rid of the girlfriend? After you are sure she is out of the picture, you have a chance to mend your marriage. It will take some time for you to trust him again but is possible. This situation is like a vase falling and breaking -- you can glue it back together but the cracks always show. Good luck to you.
2006-10-20 03:10:51 · answer #9 · answered by farahwonderland2005 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Get professional counseling, and let him know that he needs to earn your trust again. If he starts not wanting to go to the sessions, or is finding reasons to need to get away, chances are his heart is still elsewhere.
Don't let him sweet talk you into something that doesn't sound right. At the same time, allow yourself the ability to forgive him, and let him know that you want to make it work, but he needs to work at it too. Best thing I guess I could tell you is that forgiveness and trust are not necessarily partners. I am not saying be skeptical of his every move, but he needs to know that trust and respect are qualities that one earns from another, and, right now, he needs to reestablish both with you as his sole mate. Be fair to him, and allow him the opportunity to do so. But, don't let him psychologically abuse you, and be careful if he seems to, "need to get away" more often then before.
2006-10-20 03:14:55 · answer #10 · answered by rhino 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋