I am recently divorced after 10 years of marriage. It took only 3 months for the divorce to be finalized because my ex had an affair. He is moving in with the other woman soon. My friend did the same thing after she found out her ex cheated - she jumped into another relationship that ended badly 2 years later. How much time should you give yourself before getting involved with someone new? How do you prevent a "rebound" relationship? A new relationship can help you deal with with the pain and hurt of divorce but I believe they can also prevent you from dealing with the issues as well. Any opinions?
2006-10-20 03:05:20 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I don't think a relationship on the "rebound" is a good idea. You need some time to heal and rebuild your life. There are many things you can do that don't involve jumping into another relationship. If you jump into another relationship, you might find yourself comparing him to your ex or trying to change him to be either "like" or "unlike" your ex. It just complicates things. I also divorced after 16 years of marriage and I took that time to focus on me. I was a single parent for 2 years before I even thought of dating again. When I finally healed and moved on emotionally from my past relationship, I slowly got back in the dating scene and eventually met a wonderful man who loves me to no end and loves my boys. I know that today, I'm a much better person, wife and mother because I waited and worked on me before jumping into another relationship.
Take this time to do you girl. Join a gym, meet new people, go out with friends, take a dance class, and surround yourself with positive people that are going to help you get through these tough times.
Good Luck!!
PS. Counseling is also a good idea.
2006-10-20 06:02:39 · answer #1 · answered by jazz_lover_25 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think a rebound comes from when you date before you have come to terms with what has happened. You need to feel good about your self before you date again. Sure go out have fun and flirt your butt off to help you feel alive again. But you should not get involved until you have healed your self. If you don't you will fall in what I call "fake" love. You feel happy and full of emotions for this new person but really you’re just looking for the comfort of a relationship again. After being with someone for so long we forget how to live on our own. You need to know you can be on your own and be happy before you fall in love again. This is the only way to know for sure if a new relationship is real or a rebound.
2006-10-20 03:21:36 · answer #2 · answered by lynx 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Usually for every year in it takes 1/2 the time to get over it. Like if you have been in a relationship for a year it takes 6 months to get over (normally) but, that depends on the amount of love and devotion one has in the relationship.
Men don't usually figure out that it's a re-bound until 3 months when they get in it if it's right off the bat.
I left my husband and found someone instantly....I thought I really loved the man, and unfortunately the only thing I did was break his heart. I didn't love him, I just liked that he was better than what I left. I feel bad about it now....but, it's not like I went out there to hurt anyone intentionally. That was 12 years ago, since then I've just dated and I can tell by the first and second date - if its not for me.
Give yourself time to heal and find out who you are - when your a couple, you sometimes forget who you are and lose yourself as a part of something together. Find out your likes, again and go with someone with similar interest.
Best of luck......
Still looking in FW.
2006-10-20 03:13:32 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is just MY OPINION but isn't it possible for u 2 go out with another man and see how that feels to u without writing a pre-nuptial agreement? I think the longer u brood(and i'm here 2 tell u..He has
NEVER lost any sleep over it) the worse u make it on urself. Get out...have some dinners...date a few guys...dump em or keep em....but don't let ur ex take away any more of ur time...there r still some really great guys out there..jus take ur time and get to know them...btw what r the issues that u should deal with? Cuz I only see
one..he's filthy, no good lying, pig of a man who never deserved u to begin with
2006-10-20 03:23:52 · answer #4 · answered by des 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Rebounding
To be on the safe side when your feelings are all jumbled up inside it may be good to give it some time to settle down.
going out with others or just allowing yourself time and space.
Granted its great to have someone around but is it fair to the other person that you have included in your life if you are on the rebound.
Take some time to become emotionally healed before you get deeply involved again. it helps clear your thoughts and you are being considerate of the other person involved in the relationship.
I am not saying that you should not go out and have some fun, just allow yourself some quality time to get your house in order.
2006-10-20 03:18:59 · answer #5 · answered by Spirit_Rain_3-SunShineAries 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've never been married, but there's no set time to deal with things. Time heals all wounds so say that to yourself everyday. Go out and meet people and move on, but don't jump into anything. It could hurt them or you in the long run. Take time to figure out what you really want and learn from your past mistakes (or your spouse's in your case) and know that you'll have a wall up naturally. So keep that wall up for a while until you're mentally ready to take it down. TIME is all you need. Go out and meet new people and have fun. That will make your time pass quickly. Good Luck.
2006-10-20 03:09:53 · answer #6 · answered by inlovewow 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, I think a little time between relationships is wise, especially if you are worried about remaining past issues and repeating bad patterns. Probably different for each person, and for each relationship. Maybe sometimes a rebound relationship can be good I think, if I understand what it is. Just to be valued after not being valued seems important and useful I think. Any real loving relationships are good. Long term or permanant is best.
2006-10-20 03:11:23 · answer #7 · answered by kurticus1024 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2016-08-31 23:55:25 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's easy enough to tell if you are still on the rebound. Do you:
think of your old partner daily,
still experience deep feelings of pain, regret or angst when you think of them or your relationship,
repeatedly think over one or a few particular issues within that relationship
If you do any of the above then you can pretty safely say you're on the rebound.
If not, then you're ready for a new and exciting chapter of your life to begin...
2006-10-20 03:09:10 · answer #9 · answered by Angela 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You will know when you are ready, just don't go for the first man that comes along, and by all means......... get out there and date. You don't have to get into a relationship, but it sure would be nice to just meet new people and get out there and see what the world has to offer. You will know when you are ready, Trust yourself, you are smart and good to yourself. I have no doubts. BLessed be.
2006-10-20 03:09:55 · answer #10 · answered by shy&gental 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋