My husband filed for divorce 1 month ago. He left for Australia for a "job" on 10/10/06 he was off of the plane in Melbourne not 3 hrs and called me begging for money for a return ticket. I said no way. Somehow he made it back home on 10/16/06. I found out 2 days ago he has been having an affair, for a year, with a woman he met on the internet. She has been over here on several occasions. Supposedly she is wealthy. She had paid for him a 1 way ticket there and I dont know what happened to make him want to come home. He told me that the "job" would pay well and my four year old son and I would be very well taken care of!! What a sponge and a liar! I also found out my ex-mother- in- law knew about this and never told me! Now, she calls our mutual friends and asks them if I am being a good mother and if I'm keeping my house clean! Someone please advise!
2006-10-20 03:03:05 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science ➔ Psychology
Don't let her engage you. Completely ignore anything she says or does. If you are with her and she asks intrusive questions, simply look her in the eye and ask, "Why do you want to know?" That usually shuts them up. If it doesn't, simply tell her it's none of her business. The best way to deal with a meddler is to ignore her; she wants to see you react, and if you do not, then she will be more frustrated than you and eventually get the picture. Tell your friends not to discuss your personal life with her when she calls them. She will stop eventually. Turn your back on her and refuse to allow her to goad you.
2006-10-20 03:09:53 · answer #1 · answered by nido_tr3s 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What a cad... and if anyone wonders why he's like that, just look at the mother. She has probably spoiled him since he was an infant.
Having said all of that, you can't control what your ex-husband and his mother are going to do. All you can control is how you take care of yourself, your son and your home.
You will have to deal with your daughter's father but don't let him control what happens. You determine what you are willilng to do and talk about, nothing else. Don't get into exchanges with the mother. You can't win there. In addition, the less you communicate with her and refuse to react to her actions the more irritated she will become.
Finally, watch your 'friends.' Not all of them will be on your side and some will participate in the ugly gossip that will certainly come out. How they treat you and this situation will tell you a lot about what kind of friends they are.
Good luck with this.
2006-10-20 03:35:26 · answer #2 · answered by Bud 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
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For women in particular, texting can end up being a fun “game” where they can do or say anything (even things they would never do in the “real” world). Texting is non confrontational. Odds are your relationship ended on a heated note. I don’t know why you and your ex broke up, but there was probably at least one (if not a few dozen) big fights. Done properly (the way I’m going to teach you), texting is simple and subtle. You can slowly feed your ex tested and proven messages and ideas without the risk of either one of you flying off the handle, falling back into old and destructive patterns, and throwing plates at each other.
2016-02-10 23:47:10 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You say" your "4 year old son is he by a previous relationship ? if he was a child of you and your exes marriage you will never be free of her as the grandmother/ grandchild bond is extremely strong if he is not from your marriage she has no reason to contact the two of you ever if she is making your life hell! Get an injunction so she must leave you alone I think if she is the paternal grandmother of the boy she may have some visitation rights but not sure about that so ask your lawyer or take advice from somebody who knows for sure
2006-10-20 14:37:00 · answer #4 · answered by PARADOX 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi. Its so hard when you are feeling low because a relationship is over and then to find out that your ex has been cheating, and worse to have his mother knocking your confidence is horrible. However, the only way to deal with it is to build yourself up and move on with your life. Have no contact with him, do not give any money to him, his mother has proved that she is not going to be positive towards to you, have no contact with her, move on, and once you have rebuilt your life and are busy with friends and getting on with things what your ex and his mother do will be less important. Good luck. If its any help, I had a very similar situation nearly four years ago and am now happy with my new life, but it takes work and positive action.
Take care of yourself
2006-10-20 04:02:00 · answer #5 · answered by deee999 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Affectionately called "Marvellous Melbourne" during the silver speed of the 1850s, the title remains used today for Australia's 2nd largest town Melbourne, a town as possible visited with hotelbye . Located on the banks of the Yarra River, close to the entrance to Port Phillip Bay, Melbourne is a modern area steeped in history. With huge wealth made from the nearby goldfields, stunning buildings were built through the entire city. Several houses however stay today, and Melbourne is regarded as having more samples of Victorian structure than any other city in Australia. One place you can't skip in your visit to Melbourne is the Southbank and Arts Centre Melbourne. On the banks of the Yarra River that area is really a culturally wealthy appeal for visitors. Southbank promenade is full of indoor/outdoor cafés, restaurants, and live entertainment. Easily familiar by its spire, the Arts Centre includes a variety of theaters and rooms like the State Theatre, Playhouse, Fairfax Theatre, and Hamer Hall, the premier performance space for the respected Melbourne Symphony Orchestra.
2016-12-23 02:24:01 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I could write a book! The best advice is not by any way the easiest. I ended up having to move because my ex-wife and her family wouldn't leave me alone. My ex was having an affair for over six months and I 'knew' but she kept on denying it. She even took my youngest two away with her for a long weekend and took HIM with them - swearing the youngsters to silence. Anyway - I found out - as you do and in the end when his ex moved out my ex packed her things and went to live with him - but he said he wasn't interested!! She begged to come back but me and the kids (four altogether) said to get on her bike!! But the interference didn't let up and when I found a new partner my ex went ballistic - you'd have thought it was me who had had the affair - she even tried accusing me of rape to try and get the kids off me - but the police and CPS did her for wasting police time. They said they had interviewed enough women who had been sexually assaulted to know when one was making up a story to get somebody into trouble. My advice - move as far away as you can.
2006-10-20 03:17:26 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Get a lawyer, file the divorce papers and before your son starts school, move. Just move a few towns away to make it an effort for your ex-mother in law to butt in.
If he is having an affair then you will get child support and custody.
2006-10-20 03:11:54 · answer #8 · answered by thunder2sys 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He sounds like a big fat liar. I cannot stand people like him. However, the best way to deal with these people is to smother them with kindness. I would not send them any money. I would be sickly nice to them. Let them think that You have no hard feelings toward them, but do not let them manipulate you. Just be a good Mom and do keep the house clean, all will be well for you. Best of Luck!!
2006-10-20 03:15:40 · answer #9 · answered by LoveMyLife 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds to me like you have an ex MIL like my mother this is a tricky one but one i can relate to the farther of my son left when he was 5 wks old my mother never wanted anything to do with him untill she found out that i was returning to work she phoned all my friends told them lies so that it caused me problems she would never babysit when i asked her and visited the friends that would and take him from there and then phone me and say that they could not cope and neither could she. but i found that just to have a friend to talk to made things esier so if you want to chat let me no honey although at the mo im only avil mon-fri comp down at home
2006-10-20 03:20:44 · answer #10 · answered by mish4268 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋