My husband of 25 yrs. liqudated everything & moved my daughter & i 22 hrs away from my home & family. He controls every penny & i have no vehicle, no way to look for a job & don't know anyone here. Can't even find a church home 2 help me-What 2 do?
2006-10-20 03:01:02 · 12 answers · asked by lillady 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Since I don't know where you live, it's hard to search for women's shelters for you. Here are some links. Use your computer to search women's shelters and call them. You don't only need to suffer physical abuse to qualify for them. It sounds like you are scared and that is enough.
http://www.womensshelter.org/
http://www.genesisshelter.org/
http://www.midnet.sc.edu/shelter/
2006-10-20 03:08:38 · answer #1 · answered by Vicki B 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is an easy one. You go to an attorney's office (walk if you must) and explain the situation to him. You may have to go to several but sooner or later you will find one clever enough and hungry enough to help you file for divorce. Those attorneys are masters at situations like this. Your husband will probably wind up paying the fees. Don't feel even the least bit of pity for the soon to be ex as your attorney gives him a good financial lesson on how to conduct himself in a marriage.
2006-10-20 10:12:01 · answer #2 · answered by gaijin ojiisan 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It would seem to me that you should talk to a lawyer. Even though your husband controls "every penny" of the money that belongs to both of you, a good lawyer should be able to loosen his grip on it.
Contact your local Family, Youth Services group or try contacting your local woman's shelter. Either should be able to refer you to a lawyer.
Will it cost you something? I'm sure it will but hopefully you will find a lawyer who is willing to wait for his fee until your husband's grip is loosened. The lawyer, however, may charge some additional fee for waiting. But the worse that will happen is you'll have more money than you do now, right?
2006-10-20 10:09:17 · answer #3 · answered by Bud 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just like you found time to post out on this website, then you obviously have some time alone. You could do one or two things... One recognize that you should not be a prisoner in your home or in you marriage and pack whatever belongings you can gather for you and your daughter and get away as fast as you can... Haul A**... That is not a safe or healthy enviornment for you or your daughter... What if he starts physically abusing you & or your daughter (if he hasn't already)... (There is already mental abuse)... Or number Two: stay off of this website looking for a pitty party, if you know that you are going to stay, but you are just unhappy- try talking to your husband... (maybe he'll understand... probably won't but it's worth a try) also, look into some marriage counseling... Again, that is not a healthy or safe enviornment for anyone to be in... (I personally would stick to #!, but it's you and not me... I get so sick of women acting like they don't know what to do in an abusive relationship... Obviously you recognize there is a problem, if you didn't you wouldn't be here posting questions... You know right from wrong, use your common sense... But first and foremost pray... God will give you the answer to all things... Contact your local police station and let them know your situation, let them know that you need help locating the local battered womens shelter and there they will help you get back to your family... If you don't do it for yourself, then do it for your child... You chose this life for yourself, don't choose it for her too... Just like you are unhappy, don't you think she is??? Whatever you plan on doing, do it quickly, and the worse thing you can do is let him know what you're planning on doing... Keep it to yourself... Don't even tell your daughter... Just get up, stop feeling sorry for yourself, and do it... You will be much happier and safer once you do so... P.S. When/ If he hits you the next time, don't just lay there and take it, pick up something and burst his a** , once you swing that first time, keep em' coming... til you get tired... I mean really whoop his a**, that'll teach him... And give him a lecture while you're doing it..."YOU BETTA KEEP YO' GO* DA*N HANDS OFF OF ME PUNK, I WILL KICK YO' A**, I AM THE WRONG B*TCH, YOU WANNA FIGHT PUNK THEN LET'S DO THIS SH*T (throw up your set (fists)), WHAT'S UP..? COME ON WITH IT... (Again, swing as hard as you can... Even if you have to put some rocks in a sock or make other weapons... Don't be scared... Do your thing,,, Once you swing the first time, keep em' coming... Try to do this close to the front door, so the neighbors can hear... So when the police come and find him laid out, you will have some witnesses... (and at the end tell him this... "YOU HIT LIKE A B*TCH...) Now he may knock the hell out of you once or twice, but suck that sh*t up, and give him a slight smile and let him know that it's on... ! Hope this helps... It worked for me... ( I really was scared, but I thought about my babies, and I thought about all the yrs I had put in to that relationship and all the disrespect... I allowed myself to get mad as hell, and it was truly on... I whooped his a*s...)
2006-10-20 10:30:01 · answer #4 · answered by Dani_n_keem 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get yourself a lawyer
I afraid that 25 years as an house wife mended that you retired
with full pension
meaning your husband has to pay allimony, as well as part of your divorce
but if I were you I would wait and found why did he sold everything before filing maybe he is dying and don't want to tell you
Good LUCK
2006-10-20 10:09:23 · answer #5 · answered by waiting for baby 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you need to check with your local court house. Most have deferment programs for filing fees. It sounds like you qualify.
Church isn't real big on divorce.
Are there any local support systems for battered women. He may not be hitting you but he sure as heck is emotionally abusing you.
where do you live now? let me know I will do some checking also.
2006-10-20 10:06:56 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Find a way to make money for a bus ticket for you and your daughter and go stay with your family.
If it's bad enough then you'll find a way out..you have plenty of free time to sit on the computer complaining about it.
2006-10-20 10:21:43 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Check other churches, abused shelters, and legal aid.
2006-10-20 10:04:03 · answer #8 · answered by Common Sense 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Call the battered women's hotline in your area. Isolation IS abuse and you may be able to get help.
2006-10-20 10:04:24 · answer #9 · answered by GRUMPY1LUVS2EAT 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
pimp yourself out make money at home and leave him when you get enough saved up
2006-10-20 10:04:12 · answer #10 · answered by jack B 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋