I am constantly recieving emails, from an old boyfriend, lover. I told him 3 years ago that our relationship was over and I wanted him out of my life. I have moved on, he hasn't. He is a married man, yet keeps sending emails and one time there were flowers delivered to my home. I have ignored his emails, and never even brought the flowers into my homes. How can I get the point across to him that I NEVER want to hear from him again. I even went so far as to move to a different state and had a restraining order on him that he challenged and got it thrown out, and yet he has searched on the internet till he found me and the emails, etc continue. I am either looking for a free site where I can either get a legal letter drawn up and sent to him warning him that if he continues he will be prosecuted. Does anyone out there have any advice? I don't have alot of money to spend on this...I just want him out of my life for good but he doesn't seem to get my message.
2006-10-20 02:59:46 · 20 answers · asked by sparkplug 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
thanks to everyone..lots of good advice..i will clarify a few things...I told his wife of our affair a few years ago. I never heard from her but HE called me down to the lowest level he could...but then came back to me for more. I have tried to contact his wife, he tells her lots of lies and she is either dumb enough to believe him or she simply doesn't care. The restraining order I had on him was overturned on a small technicallity. He got it lifted because something wasn't filed correctly. When I have tried to call his wife, she hangs up on me. I agree with most of the responses, they mentioned contacting his wife, his business, lawyers, police, etc. anymore advice out there now that i have clarified a few more things about this???
2006-10-20 04:48:10 · update #1
hire a hitman to break his knees. The man has issues and is really hung up on the past.
2006-10-20 03:01:32 · answer #1 · answered by Joe Somebody 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Retry the restraining order. If he found you in another state then it is obvious he is unbalanced and hung up on you. Is he only emailing you? If so, this really all in all is not that big of a deal. If it is phone calls, visits, etc. then you need to watch out. This could be dangerous. Some ideas:
-New phone number (if he calls). I know it will be a pain, but get a new number and keep it unlisted
-New email address: Same as above, it will be a pain but if it is that big of a deal then you will go with it. Make sure that it has nothing to do with your name, and try a free online one like gmail or yahoo.
-Block his email address: If he is primarily sending you emails, set up your email to delete his. Simple solution
-Call his wife: If he is still married, turn it back on him. Tell her what he did (if she does not know) and what he is still doing. This should get his focus off you for a while.
-If it is a potentially dangerous situation, call the police. You have the right to not be harassed and living in fear.
Good luck, and not to sound like a dad but maybe you should choose a little better next time. Messing around with a married man is not going to end well for either party.
2006-10-20 10:08:57 · answer #2 · answered by Craig B 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk about unfinished business. His peace has been really disturbed. Why don't you just take the easiest (and least expensive route) and let him find his peace with you? You can disagree with him, but I suggest letting him see that his feelings will be heard and validated.
The only complications are that he may expect you to justify yourself or to agree with him, or to accept harsh judgments against you. Consistently reaffirm that your ears close to such things. !Whatever you do, DO NOT justify yourself to him! This will intensify the problem and prolong it. Do not expect him to understand you, and do not try to explain yourself, except to say that you are securing your own peace.
With that, things should resolve themselves fairly quickly. Now if you have hurt him, it will be difficult to hear him say this, but your peace depends on your ability to understand and accept this without "killing yourself" over it. It's okay to be wrong, and to admit wrong, if you can find peace with it. As you do so, your life will become more beautiful.
It also occured to me that the previously mentioned complications can go both ways, in that you "may expect [him] to justify [himself] or to agree with [you], or to accept harsh judgments against [him]." This will disrupt both your peace and his peace, so just decide that no matter what he says, you won't provoke him.
You don't have to tell him that he is/was right or that you are/were wrong, only that you are understanding him so that both of you have the opportunity to find healing peace.
..or you could continue with the more costly and less successful old confrontational method, but it doesn't seem like that is working for you very well at all. So the path to your inner peace (though emotionally and spiritually difficult) should be looking pretty tempting right about now because the payoff is huge and certain.
2006-10-20 10:37:27 · answer #3 · answered by Andy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go to a legal aid office. Have them help you get another restraining order. Do not talk to your harrasser except through an attorney, so the restraining order isn't abrogated. Have legal aid attorney write a letter stating that you will contact his wife, family members, church and place of employment, in that order, if he doesn't stop contacting you.
2006-10-20 10:11:11 · answer #4 · answered by Dave 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
try to charge him again. i know there are laws to do with the internet and computers. maybe try to phone student law programs. they have new practicing attorneys that might be able to give you free advice and give you a cheap price for representations. include the fact of the emails. dont' delete them anymore, or keep them saved if you have them on your computer or email address. or you can call his wife and ask to meet her. pick an internet cafe so you can show her his emails if she doesn't believe you. tell her you tried to get a restraining order and show her the documents. i bet that would divert his attention when she gets home to confront him
2006-10-20 10:06:10 · answer #5 · answered by Jody SweetG 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes a family law lawyer can write you a letter for him for around $60. You need to call some of them. Also, how about filing for an injunction of protection down at the courthouse (FREE) and if it gets granted, all communications MUST STOP!! Good luck!
2006-10-20 10:02:54 · answer #6 · answered by bradnmich2003 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Perhaps letting him know you will contact his wife with copies of the emails. Block him from sending emails. Keep changing your email address. Keep records of all his contacts and bring them to the police again. Find out where he works and report his abuse and harrassment to them...ask for their assistance in keeping him away, especially if he uses a work computer to contact you. Good luck
2006-10-20 10:09:57 · answer #7 · answered by mlist32 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh wow. Obviously hes a stalker. Well first block everything! His emial, IMS, and alomost every program has a blocking option. Next, if it is possible, move somewhere closeby, but make it a provate address so you wont be able to be tracked down. You have to let a police officer know about this. he is stalking you, and police need to know
2006-10-20 10:06:53 · answer #8 · answered by SiNiStEr_THEORY666 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
May I suggest that you contact the police and advise them of the difficulties that you are having. Sounds like this person is a stalker The police know how to best handle situations like this.
For your safety think about doing this as soon as you can
SunShine
2006-10-20 10:04:15 · answer #9 · answered by Spirit_Rain_3-SunShineAries 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow! You have great willpower. Good for you!
Try legal aid in your state. They can draw up a cease and desist letter for you for practically no-cost. Additionally, file a police report indicating that you fear for your "health and safety". That document will be on record in the event that you need it for a future lawsuit.
Good luck!
2006-10-20 10:06:26 · answer #10 · answered by Angela 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Does his wife know about all this? If not you might need to inform her. I would get another restraining order. Why was it thrown out?
2006-10-20 10:05:12 · answer #11 · answered by lucy02 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋