Is it cos of the baby?

Question

My wife will not, under any circumstances have sex with me ever since we have found out were expecting. She is now 30 weeks, and havent done anything since 4 weeks. I have asked her and she says its cos she doesnt want to harm the baby, but she knows little harm can come to the baby. After so long i am taking it personally, no doctor has told her not to do it. Any one else been through this?

Well i have been perfectly patient, i have told her great i think she looks despite the stretch marks, i do not feel in any way selfish for my question. A relatinship needs closeness and its something that our relationships lacks. I have talk endlessly to her about it, but she will not budge.

Answer 1

another woman

Answer 2

Women can feel very protective of the baby when pregnant, and the thought of something going up there near the baby probably scares her, especially if the pregnancy was a long time coming or is a little difficult at the moment. Pregnancy makes us women paranoid! Just because we get told some things are fine, doesn't stop us worrying about it! Explore sex in other ways for the remainder of the pregnancy - you're on the home straight, and then when the baby comes you will both be too tired to even think about sex!

Answer 3

well when a woman becomes pregnant her sex drive automatically decreases a whole lot! unfortunately for you, it will probably remain that way throughout the entire pregnancy. i'm just starting to get mine back at 35 weeks. just be patient with her, i mean you have to understand she doesn't have the same body she did before she got pregnant so she probably doesn't feel very sexy even though you have told her different. my boyfriend does the same thing with me but it still doesn't make me feel any better because i see a disgustingly gross overweight person with stretch marks when i look in the mirror. however, she is wrong about the baby getting hurt. the baby is safely secure in it's womb and unless your doctor has given you a reason to not have intercourse than you can without harming the baby. just be sure to get into positions that you or her are not putting all your weight on her stomach. just be patient with her, she doesn't have that much longer left!

Answer 4

Please, have your wife read this.
Unless you are warned of a medical condition NOT to have sex during pregnancy, it is actually good for you. The baby is there, quit a ways up there. You will not hurt the baby at all. Sex is actually very good during pregnancy. It keeps the muscles in your pelvic floor functioning and can even help increase the muscles there. You need to keep those muscles in shape. Those are the muscles you will be using to give birth. It is very healthy to have sex during pregnancy.
Like I said, unless there is a medical condition and the Dr warns you against it.
Besides, happy mommys & daddys make very happy children.
Your wife may be using that as an excuse. She may not feel sexy or desirable any longer. Sometimes we get so wrapped up in our roles we forget we are living, breathing human beings with natural needs & wants. It is OK to be preganant & sexy at the same time. Being pregnant & having babies is the most primal and natural thing in the world. It can bond parents completely by sharing in every aspect. When she is hungry - give her what ever she may crave, when she is tired - help her get the rest she needs (she will be much more tired during pregnancy), and if she is feeling unattractive - remind her that she is pregnant with your baby, there is nothing sexier than a pregnant woman. Their skin, their hair, their eyes. It all changes. They become radiant. They Glow! They are beautiful.
Try just sitting & watching her do something very "everyday". Let your eyes see her for the beautiful creature she is. Now, remind yourself, she is pregnant with YOUR baby. There is no greater experience a couple can share. Remind her every day that you love her and still find her very sexy. Women need to know that you still find them desirable.
Maybe she doesn't want to because she feels she is not sexy or desirable, maybe she doesn't want to because she is uncomfortable, maybe she doesn't want to because she is exhausted. There are many reasons she may not want to. But the fear of causing problems to the baby should not be one of them. The baby is not going to see something and be traumatized! haha. Likes I said before, happy parents raise happy children. Keep your bond and the baby will be born healthy and happy and will grow that way.

Answer 5

Go to your wife's next doctor appointment with her and ask the doctor that question. Your doctor will confirm that it is completely safe and normal to continue your sex life during pregnancy as long as there are no complications and her water hasn't' broken. She might just feel self conscience about her body changing and it may be a little more uncomfortable but you can work around that. Good luck. Be honest about your feelings with your wife. Open communication is the best thing for both of you. You both have needs - compromise.

Answer 6

it doesnt do a thing to the baby, it can actually induce you which is what my midwife told my boyfriend and I to do as my son was late (but it doesnt necessarily work-in my case it didnt help).

I was worried at first always really cautious. In pregnancy many women do have a lower sex drive, they just dont feel sexy enough, that theyre too fat, their hormones are all over the place. dont worry its normal.

Dont take it personally, just give her a bit of time, probably till after the birth, but she might not have sex then. After the birth of my son ive felt awful about my body, i have low self esteem now too.

Remember marriage is going through thick and thin, enjoy time being with her make her feel good spoil her, sex isnt the most important thing in life.

Answer 7

I guess it is because she is getting so close to having the baby and is afraid to take any chances.......Bear with her it is almost over and it will be worth the wait when you see the little cutie you guys made. Don't take it personally, it happens to Lot's of men Lot's of times. I bet you 3/4 of the women on here have done the same thing, especially if it is your first baby. Every one is always careful the first time around, then by the time the second and third one comes around it's just go ahead let's do it. Some women get horny when they get pregnant and some women don't want it at all. It's almost over.

Answer 8

i just had a baby 4 months ago. I had sex right up to the end of my pregnacy. Near the end it was uncomfortable sometimes. You should talk to your wife and tell her to try. Because once the baby comes you have to wait. And then you will be tired and she wont want it. some its going to be a lot longer than you think before you get any. I would talk to her. Or get her to perform oral sex. She has to understand that you have needs and that sex is very important in a relationship. good luck

Answer 9

It's just her hormones. Been there done that while I was preggers. I didn't want my husband to touch me for a while. and instead of just saying I don't want you to touch me, I told him I just wasn't comfortable having sex right now. But after a while she will be ok, It just takes patience. If for some reason though, you never have sex again even after the baby is born, I would suggest asking if she would go to a sex therapist with you to help figure out why.

But that is the extreme end of the spectrum. I am sure things will go back to normal soon.

Answer 10

I think its unfair to you that your wife doesn't want to have sex, but I think you should give her some time to adjust to the idea of being pregnant. When I had my first pregnancy I was scared that we would hurt the baby, but after some time during the pregnancy we learnt as much as we could about being safe in this time. I think you both should visit a doctor and have some professional advice. In the mean time just have some patience since she has to get used to the idea of being pregnant and the safety of the baby.

Answer 11

Sex is actually healthy during pregnancy, unless you're at high risk for preterm labor or other complications. Maybe your wife doesn't feel sexy anymore. I'm 38 weeks pregnant and I definitely don't... I've gained 30 pounds and have stretch marks on my belly. I feel disgusting. Talk to her about it.