I recently split up from a full-on relationship with a person who I am still in love with and who I call my brother. But why is it that since the break up people have assumed that I am going to be sleeping with a new man every night, and that I am now "on the prowl"? Why, do people have such views of what it is to be single in the gay community?
2006-10-20 01:38:26 · 7 answers · asked by Orditz 3 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
It is a stereotype that all gay men are promiscuous and constantly need sex. This is a stereotype that seems more prevalent in our community, which is kind of sad. When I lost a partner of 6 yrs, my gay friends were all thinking I should be having rebound sex, or as it was put, the only way to get over him is to get on top of someone else.
My straight friends were very much more understanding and in tune with my need to grieve the relationship and take my time ...
The worst were those who claimed to be our mutual friends who wanted to sleep with me afterwards. Now that I did not get ... guess they thought it was open season, but how could I think of them that way when they were attached to the life I shared with my partner
2006-10-20 03:58:17 · answer #1 · answered by Jayson V 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Simply because its easier. And actually its not just the gay community. When my g/f went through her divorce, the first thing out of her families mouth was, well are you dating anyone(a man, of course, is what they meant). Two, almost three years later and her dad still picks out guys for her and tells her she can "get some" if she wanted to. She is not out to them, they live across the country and are elderly, I'm not happy about it, but it is what it is.
We are pack animals, and it seems to make everyone uncomfortable to be alone, or see other people alone. Everyone has a "maiden" aunt (although they are dying off, and no one uses that term anymore), who lived alone all her life. And while we were indoctrinated to think there was something sad about that, if you talk to them, they were pretty happy they lived the life they did.
Its felt that its socially acceptable to assume gay men are sluts who can't wait for the next set of genetalia that comes along. In all honesty, some of our history over the last 50years lends to this misconception. However I think while its accepted as common thought about gay men, its really simply a deflection from the heterosexual community who simply does not want to admit that heterosexual men think about sex and when they are next getting some, constantly. Look around you, sex sells, and they aren't selling sex only if you are not married.
So it sucks for you right now, but you know who you are and you know you need this time to grieve for the loss of this relationship. Don't worry about what other people think. When you don't give them anything to talk about, they will move on to the next more interesting victim.
2006-10-20 10:06:01 · answer #2 · answered by tjnstlouismo 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
OK, I take back my last response.....It's being assumed because of a stereotype, that all gay men or women are promiscuous either in a relationship or not. Granted, I can be a whore when I want to, but not 24-7, and I do believe it works the same for those heteros.
2006-10-20 08:47:51 · answer #3 · answered by buldawg 5 · 4⤊ 0⤋
This is a bad stereotype people have of the gay community. No worries, I am also single and gay and people don't assume that of me any more
2006-10-20 10:03:54 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Simply because of ignorance. And really, it really is none of their business anyway.
Maybe it is also because people in the gay community are portrayed often by the media that way as well. That doesn't justify their judgment however.
2006-10-20 11:04:40 · answer #5 · answered by moonie 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately, a great number of our community are promiscuous. They are the gays that get noticed by the straight community so the straights think we are all like that.
2006-10-20 09:00:21 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't think a gay breakup is any different from a straight breakup. People rebound.
Just be happy with your new life. Don't worry so much about gossipy folk.
2006-10-20 09:46:21 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋