2006-10-20 01:10:39 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I'm not coming from a place of experience with divorce, but after many bad breakups I have found that you first need to adjust to being alone again, and the easiest way to do that is to take up something new, and time consuming, where you can fill a lot of hours doing it. Maybe starting a project around the house that you haven't, or gardening, or starting a quilt. Anything where you won't be sitting around and thinking.
2006-10-20 01:14:36 · answer #1 · answered by Zara 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Move on emotionally. Don't stay depressed or angry. Meet new people and make new friends. If you're not doing these things already, consider joining a gym, taking dance lessons, go out with friends, take a vacation by yourself, etc. Life could be great after a divorce, you just have to make the decision to make it great. Focus on you and leave the rest to the future. Enjoy each day because tomorrow is not guaranteed. I got divorced 3 years ago and for the first time in my life, I felt free and independent. This is your time girl...have fun and enjoy it!!!
Don't jump into another relationship until you are sure that you have healed. Maybe even see a counselor just to make sure that your heart has mended and you're ready for a new relationship. Carrying baggage from a past relationship into a new one can destroy it. Learn from your past mistakes and work on YOU. Good luck!!!
2006-10-20 09:03:10 · answer #2 · answered by jazz_lover_25 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The best advice I can offer is to try to avoid getting into another relationship for a while. It may be tempting, especially if you find yourself lonely on the weekends, however, you need time to rediscover yourself, and what you like, and build time for yourself. Find new hobbies, friends, and be creative about making where you live comfortable and cozy. The pain of a divorce makes it seem like you will never get back on your feet again, or at least it feels like it will be a very long time until you feel like your life is better, but in time, you will find yourself quite happy! I wish you the best....
2006-10-20 08:15:46 · answer #3 · answered by favrd1 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Once I got divorced from my 1st wife and moved by my self I bought this queen size bed and about one week later I notice I was always awaking in the same side side of the bed I was doing for the last 5 years, so I decided to sleep in the middle of my bed. After that I started to go to play some pool or to pubs, but I noticed that the person I was looking for wasn't in those places, so I concentrated my self in my family, my mom, mi nephews, etc. By doing so I learn to live once again how good in to be with the people who really love you without asking for nothing in return but love. After few months I was washing my clothing loundromat and saw this lady, we started to talk about normal things, news, clothing, etc. We went out about 2 weeks after we met and after 2 years and a half we got married. That was 10 years ago and we haven't fought not even once. When somebody will be for you to share love, there's nothing that possibly could change that out, all the you have to do is never give up and keep walking and always be positive, who knows, may be love is just waiting for you in the next corner. Good luck.
2006-10-20 08:29:05 · answer #4 · answered by Javy 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, congradulations. It takes a LOT of guts to admit that the situation wasn't right and take the steps necessary to end it.
Having been there and done that, I can tell you that the #1 thing that you can do to make your life better after a divorce is: enjoy the ride.
You have an opportunity to do ANYTHING you want to do right now. If you have kids, you can have fun with them and not have to worry about fighting in front of them and setting a poor example of how to be in a relationship. If you have always secretly desired to learn how to SCUBA dive, then take a SCUBA class without worrying about how your Ex would feel about it. If you have thought that you would like to learn how to weave baskets, go learn how to weave! The opportunities are endless!
If I hadn't gone thru my divorce, I never would have had the sequence of events that led me to meet up with the love of my life who is now my wife. If I had "stuck it out" I would be miserable today instead of very happy. If we hadn't gotten a divorce, she wouldn't have met her husband, have her kids with him, and I would not have met my best friend in the whole world. At the time we both felt crappy about the divorce, but it led to greater things for both of us.
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I bought a complete, new system from them with a warranty for LESS than it would cost me to build it myself or order a custom one from the makers. They gave me the code ATX926 to get a 10% discount at checkout. Try it to see if it works for you.
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Good luck!
2006-10-20 08:28:39 · answer #5 · answered by MegaNerd 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know how long you've been divorced but my advice is "get you right first." Divorces come with a lot of baggage and I think a lot of folks are in denial about that. And unchecked issues will keep following you around manifesting themselves in your relationships if you don't make sure you're at peace with yourself first - you can always date, but making sure you're healing properly would be first on my list. Sometimes you can't see the baggage til you get involved with someone else, then you realize you may have feelings of abandonment, trust issues. . so take it slow - do things that are nurturing, positive and uplifting for yourself first.
2006-10-20 08:45:15 · answer #6 · answered by Cris 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this is a good question. I don't think you should get into another relationship right away.
Get in touch with you again and decide what you really want and need from your life.
If you meet someone, then great. If not, then don't go looking. Get in touch with friends you haven't seen in a long time, or family.
Be selfish.
2006-10-20 09:12:13 · answer #7 · answered by wayouthere 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Congratulations for having guts.
Have a makeover for your hair, manicure and pedicure, make-up, wardrobe and find new hobbies. Maybe join a Yoga class. Take one day at a time. Give thanks each day for your new found freedom and your courage. Always remember,.....baby steps, one at a time. You WILL see the light at the end of the tunnel. Feel confident and act confident. The opposite sex is attracted to confidence.
2006-10-21 11:55:58 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Move to Michigan and date me ! Try doing some of the things you have always wanted to do. Take a trip or two. Go to a theatrical performance your ex would never go see, do some volunteer work, etc.
2006-10-20 08:14:05 · answer #9 · answered by Falling to pieces 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
WAS IT THAT MUCH BETTER BEFORE DIVORCE??? JUST REMEMBER WHY YOUR SINGLE AGAIN, DO WHAT EVER YOU WANT TO!! TAKE SOME NIGHT COURSES, GO OUT FOR DINNER WITH FRIENDS, GO TO MOVIES ECT......... JUST HAVE FUN, THE REST WILL FALL INTO PLACE!!!!!!
2006-10-20 08:15:38 · answer #10 · answered by mamaexfour 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋