Colleague wearing very strong perfume after I asked her not to - help!?

Question

I work a confined space with very poor ventilation with another woman who favours the "more is more" approach to perfume application. It really got to me and I summoned up the courage to address the matter with her some months ago. She was a bit put out (I was mortified also) but I said it all quite diplomatically I hope and the problem ceased. She even said for ages afterwards that she was glad I felt able to approach her and thankfully there was no bad atmosphere between us. Now 3 months later, she's at it again - I think she must use half the bottle each time. It gives me a headache and I really find it sickening. I don't wear perfume myself at work usually, as even my own overpowers me during the day. There is no window that I can open. How on earth do I approach this one AGAIN? I feel really angry with her now, as she must be aware of what she's doing. BTW, I suffer with sinus trouble, prone to bronchitis and coughs so the air quality really affects me. Help much needed!!

Answer 1

I have the same problem with smells. I am actually allergic to differnt types of smells, and I get headaches and feel sick too. You should not have to deal with her bathing in perfume. Some people can't seem to grasp that less is more! Since it is an issue of health, you need to speak to your supervisor about it. Did you tell her that it was making you sick? If so, then she's a complete idiot. My daughter has a teacher who is allergic to smells, and his throat closed up and he had a stroke because some insane person thought it was their right to make every one else smell their perfume. Maybe you could try a fan, and point it toward the door, maybe that would help get rid of some of the stink. Good luck.

Answer 2

They may ask you how you would deal with an angry customer or someone trying to return something without a receipt. Have a positive attitude. You get along well with others. Smile. Melt them with your eye-contact and good body- language. Your outfit sounds really nice. The stupid question have a hidden meaning. The question "what animal would you be?" relates to your personality. If you say CAT.. they'll think you're lazy and like to sit around and wash yourself and have people take care of you. Choose an animal like a monkey or something.. monkeys are fun.. not scary.. they are intelligent. My teacher told us to pick a shark since they are agressive and strong but you might come off as difficult and psycho. Think about the hidden meaning and choose something fun, sane and social. Super hero.. that's tough. Superman is good cause he is law-abiding.. he's a nice guy.. helps people. Batman is my fave but he's kinda anti-social and too "dark"for A&F. Do some research and choose a character that they have never heard of. Describe the good qualities that would work well with their company. Good luck

Answer 3

Do not approach the subject again with the coworker. You were professional and polite once with her regarding this problem.

Time to engage your supervisor. It's possible other employees are offended by her disrespect. (It isn't "by accident" that she wears something offensive)

Ask the company to buy individual air purifiers (like for smokers) for your desk area. Also have a small fan going, pointing away from you. In small meeting settings, tote these two tools along with your cup of coffee and place them closer to this employee.

I like the answer regarding the Disabilities Act - won't she be mortified to learn she is violating federal law and could lose her job by putting her company at risk for a lawsuit.

Answer 4

I have experienced this problem a number of times and think I've found a good solution. At least it works for me, including very recently when my new neighbor kept coming into my very small house (a motorhome) doused in her favorite scents.

Years ago I had another neighbor who sold perfumes in a little business enterprise, and she made the rounds at our apartment complex to hawk her products. She was a very friendly person and fun to talk with, and she was not pushy, so I didn't mind letting her in -- at first.

But very quickly I realized that she was wearing so much perfume on a regular basis (trying out her newest products, I figured), that I finally had to say something or else stop letting her come in. Here is what solved the problem then and in other cases since, including the recent one with my new neighbor.

I broached the subject with clear sensitivity to the person's feelings about it, recognizing it might be a touchy issue. But here's how I couched my request. I asked the person if she realized that because she was around perfumes a lot and wore them daily, it is likely that she can no longer TELL how MUCH perfume she is now using?

This is a fact, as far as I'm concerned, though I have no scientific data to back it up. Many years of life experience have taught me that most of us become de-sensitized to scents we are immersed in a lot -- that is, IF we are not among the unfortunate ones who have chemical sensitivities.

Therefore, someone who wears perfume all the time gradually becomes less sensitive to it due to the "smell buds" in their nostrils (and related brain centers) getting overwhelmed and automatically shutting out a lot of the scent, if not all of it.

When I put it this way, the offending saleslady "got it" immediately, and she even asked me a few questions about it. She wanted others to like her and be enticed to BUY her product -- not be choked by how she smelled and put off by it to the point that they avoided her presence.

I was careful to make it clear by my demeanor and words that I did not dislike HER, but I simply could not bear the overpowering scents she carried with her into my house. She took it as intended and seemed actually grateful for the tips.

In fact, after we'd talked about it awhile and ended up laughing about it together, we joked about how she was rather like the character "Pigpen" in the Charlie Brown comic strips -- only the "cloud" that followed her around was not dirt, but SCENT!

Even a very pleasing scent gets cloying and offensive after you've had too much of it forced on you. I asked that earlier neighbor if she had ever been around someone else who had bathed in her (or his) perfume and found it difficult to take, and she freely acknowledged that she had. The same is true whenever we unintentionally put on too much scent ourselves and have to wash most of it off.

No insult is intended when the touchy subject is approached this way, and so usually none is taken. Courtesy goes a long way, and most often a courteous "tip" offered is received well -- and responded to in kind.

Your co-worker "knows" she is ignoring your request, but in another sense, she may NOT understand just how bad the problem is because SHE cannot smell her own scent very well!

This tactic has worked well for me. If it fails in your situation, though, I agree with those who say you should bring a supervisor into it, or your doctor or the ADA laws. You can't afford to back down on this -- your health and sanity are at stake! Good luck.

Answer 5

I can sympathize with you as I am allergic to some perfume scents. Especially musk. I was lucky that everyone on my floor quit wearing the stuff. It is amazing how many doctors and dentist are allergic to various perfumes. As I wear the stuff for me, the only time I put it on is just before I go to bed. About your dilemma. Tell her one more time. If it doesn't stop immediately, go to your supervisor. If necessary, get your ear, nose and throat doctor involved.

Answer 6

I think you should be bold again and ask her to stop,only this time you have to tell her what it does to you like the diseases and all may be it will make her realise and become more human.

You can also offer to go shop for a cooler smelling perfume this will aslo help if she is ready.

all the best.

Answer 7

Under the Americans with Disabilities Act, you have the right to request in writing to your supervisor's or boss that the workplace be scent free due to your allergies or they install a filtering system to filter the air. I have multiple chemical sensitivities and am allergic to most perfumes, colognes, cigarette smoke, cigar smoke, pipe smoke and those clove cigarettes smoke. many of these give me severe migraines. My boss requests no one in our offices wear scent of any kind. I do wear deodorant, but its unscented. most of my co-workers wear deodorant, although we have one who insists on wearing perfume, but she puts it on very lightly and hers doesn't bother me. I get migraines from many of these things i listed, some air fresheners bother me as well, but not very many. I'm very careful about what i'm around and where i go because of this condition. Maybe you have multiple chemical sensitivities as well and it is a condition recognized by the ADA (American's with Disabilities Act). contact your local Center for Independent Living for help in writing the letter based on the ADA law, or contact Great Plains ADA Project at 800-949-4232.

Answer 8

Sounds like you have a problem and not her. Maybe she likes the perfume and for three months stopped wearing it to please you. It is unfortunate that this is happening to you. Consider asking her again, nicely and include you health reasons this time. Remember she does not have to do it. You might have to take the chain of command, which becomes even more unfortunate since you guys work in such close proximity. This will no doubt bring a more uncomfortable situation. Understand that is a personal problem for you, not her.

Answer 9

If you have addressed it once with her, now it is time to get your supervisor involved...it is really sad that she cannot respect you enough to wait until she leaves the office to douse herself.

I have a hard time with strong perfume myself. I work with the public, so I can't address it there....but let me tell you I had to talk to my Mother-in-law about 6 times to get her to stop talking a bath in Shalamar (can't stand it) when she stays with us...new flash, my Father-in-law is just as bad with his cologne! Go figure. Sometimes I get so sensitive that I go nuts at home if my girls use fingernail polish or remover without asking me first. Good luck....

Answer 10

Why not just ask her if she's doing this on purpose? After all she recognizes the fact that you are made ill by her over abundance of perfume. Or you might ask her if she will be so kind as to drive you to the doctor's office as you feel too sick to drive yourself.