i am very close to my ex boyfriend. he finished with me because he couldn't take the stress whenever we even had the first glimmer of an arguement (he stays up all night on his computer and i think he's arsed up his mental health - he's 30) we are sleeping together. we don't question things for now cos we don't wanna rock the boat.
he is now moving to the spare room of his female friend (so it will be just them) in a flat close to me. she is the sort of girl who doesn't have any scruples with sleeping with other girlfriends boyfriends etc. i believe that he doesn't fancy her but i think it will mess up what we have because what we have is so ill defined and vague and fragile. he won't listen says i am being ridiculous.
do i cut off from him to stop getting hurt. i do love him but i don't know if i can handle him living with her with things the way they are between us.
2006-10-20 00:51:52 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
My God RANDOM FRIEND you are a flamin nut case!
Listen honey. Only you know if he is moving into this girls flat, simply because he needs to or because he wants to sleep with her. Which is it?
A relationship is not over properly untill you have both moved on and stayed apart for a long time!
Ignore what some of these half wits have said!
You know whether there is still something between you. The issue is not whether he wants you, because he still sleeping with you, which answers the questio. If he was just wanting the obvious the he could go out on a Friday night and sleep with anyone, which would be easier than doing it with you, as you both have emotional connections. So yes some part of him wants you, but is he a relationship person, or will he continually not be right for you? When you think of your dream guy is he it?? If not then its YOU who has to walk away from this situation. People who are major into computers often have difficulty expressing emotion, and this would be enough to drive me mad. Would you be the same. Can you honestly see a happy ending with this guy, if you can, trust him, give him space and dont force the issue, as he is obviously fragile. If not then be ctrong, cut your losses and believe there will be someone better for you!! Good Luck x x x
2006-10-20 01:13:20 · answer #1 · answered by Sophie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
From my point of view he's doing what i call the easy way, at the first problem lets run away, perhaps by what your saying he's showing his immature side when there is a kind of problem or something to talk about he runs to hide in before the computer, he's acting like an ostrich, it hides the head in land and believes that because it can't see the danger the danger can't see it either, your bf thinks that hiding in front of the computer to don't see the problems will make them disappear, yeah right! Now he's moving with a person known by him, because if you noe her as an "easy step" he most know so, to keep playing the same game, but instead the computer with her. Darling I see that you'll be a lot better without this debris in your way, you deserve more than this. Talk to him straight up, without shortcuts and if he doesn't want to hear, leave him right there and keep on walking, he's the one who's loosing, not you, but his immaturity doesn't let him to see so. I see you love him, but I rather to cry 1 week because I left somebody who didn't appreciate me than to suffer for the rest of my life because I didn't make the step I had to. Remember "Bad road faster run" As faster as you do it as faster as you'll start your life. take care and remember when 1 door got shutted 10 may get open. Go ahead and don't be afraid to be happy. Every path starts with only one step. Good luck!
2006-10-20 08:10:22 · answer #2 · answered by Javy 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok ill give you a straight answer... how old are you? since hes 30 if you are close to his age.. you need to find a mate fast cuz not one else is going to want you after 30. why would they go for an older chick when a young fresh one is ready. since he already took the first step and moved in with another chick, thats not good. if you really love this guy... let him and listen to what he has to say more often. agree with him and do what he wants. only way to have a relationship last is, one person always letting the other. there is no such thing as an equal relationship. most of the time men dont like to be told what to do. just remember when your over the hill, that means its too late to find your ideal man ;)
2006-10-20 07:58:20 · answer #3 · answered by Random Friend 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi jnew , look i am no doctor or anything like that ok what i am is a 49 year old female that has seen allot with my 2 kids who are both older son is 22 daughter is 30 .... and just in life its self ... If you have let him know that this bothers you and he blew it off that's problem #1 big PROBLEM #2 is that if this i cant call her a woman or a girl because if what you said is true about how she is sleeping with other girls boyfriends and all well that's a big problem ! listen men and women would not just sit there if someone came on to then let me correct that OK ! men or women that had morals would not jump all over the free sex but this spells trouble big time ... and tell me this is he worth you making your self sick over . walk away move on or let him think you have 100% meaning no more sex for him from you and anything ! you need to see how he will react to that ! maybe this is a chapter in your book of life that you need to close and move on there are men out there that will treat you like the lady you need to be treated like ! sounds like this guy already has issues .... i say drop this zero and find yourself a hero ! get your self a t- shirt have them Put *I'M BRINGING SEXY BACK* ! and go find yourself a hero ! best of luck think with you head and not your heart on this one ! hugs big ones E L
2006-10-20 08:11:09 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should back off so that you won't get hurt. Tell your ex-boyfriend how you feel and also tell him that you don't like it when he is with other girls. You have to speak up. You need to move on. Tell your ex to find a different place to live, tell him that you feel very uncomfortable living in the same place.
If you tried to talked to your ex and he still won't listen to what you have to say, then I suggest you move on and forget about him, if not,then you will have more problems. You need to move forward and find someone else, someone who will treat you better and will listen to you as well. I wish you the very best in your next relationship.
2006-10-20 07:58:43 · answer #5 · answered by D 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The way itt reads, your ex boyfriend has psychological problems and this should be your primary concern. You can try and help him offering him psychological support on your own or through a specialised doctor, even through special municipal programs (some of them are free).
If he comes back to normal, then you can try to have a good relationship with him otherwise forget all about him.
Even if he sleeps with this female friend, they will never have a relationship, because of his problems.
I can understand how you feel about him, but I believe that yourself is the first person you should be concerned of, honey...
2006-10-20 08:01:13 · answer #6 · answered by ngiapapa 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
look this be painfull to hear especially when i dont know you both but if hes moving into another females apartment and she can do stuff like that then get out fast because even if he has nothing for her now its only a matter of time till she worms her way in there and screws it up for ya so in conclusion i say sorry you are in this spot but hey there is true love out there i found mine as will you so good luck in the future
2006-10-20 07:57:23 · answer #7 · answered by mustang_rws 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
LOL, you really dont have a clue, do you??? "we" dont question it, because "we" dont wanna rock the boat?????? !!!!!!!!!!!!
He has total control over you! Get ridda his sorry butt and move on....he is obviously hooking up with this "female friend" of his !
Ask yourself this question: Is this relationship making me happy? If the answer is no, which we all know it is, than that is not a relationship. Love is supposed to make you happy, not tear you apart.
2006-10-20 08:03:51 · answer #8 · answered by Falling to pieces 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think you're kidding yourself here big time
and you're going to get hurt,maybe he's confuse that
why he stay up all night,i does'nt want to hurt you but
can't seem to be honnest with you.....you put you're hope
to high in this situation, he sound like a guy who can't commite
and is to immature (player).
please be careful and stay away,the best way to know someone
is how they act and what they say when other people is around
it's there that you see there true color
take care
isabelle
2006-10-20 08:07:49 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
One needs love in order to survive. You must focus on your needs from him. By his actions he has shown that he does not have the same feelings for you. It's time to move on and hopefully find a true meaningful relationship that you will benefit from as well.
2006-10-20 07:56:11 · answer #10 · answered by Letsee 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋