For the last 6 months ive under the impression that my wife was seeing someone else at work(how wrong i was).Now i know the truth that nothing is going on i cant seem to stop myself from causing arguements at home.My wife has put up with me making these accusations for such a long time it has made her very depressed.Im seeking help from a counssilor but dont seem to find it helping very much,is there anything else i can do to stop myself from creating anothe arguement when she comes home from work,i love my wife very much and know she feels the same way,it makes me feel upset to to see her feel like this everyday and dont want it to carry on.
2006-10-20 00:12:13 · 30 answers · asked by The Real Deal 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
This is very harsh. But are you sure you love your wife or do you love having a wife. If you love your wife ( for the person she is) and still want to stay married to her, the problem could be with you. For so long you believed that you were right and that she hurt you and all of a sudden you were proven wrong. Your ego was hurt and you're trying to proof to her that you are still the man in the house. That's why you're picking annoying and unimportant fights with her. So that you can win them. Be careful. This may go on forever if you don't stop immediately. People tend to get stuck in a phase. And once you are there, you can't get out. She must love you. 'Cause if she's still with you after all the accusations and fights, she'll probably be there for a few more years. Best advice: Get a grip. Sort out your head, take charge of yourself and take self control. Thin before you talk. This will take a while, but you have to make the change. Good luck with your marriage.
2006-10-20 00:21:50 · answer #1 · answered by liz m 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Oh dear, I understand how you feel. Like somebody else on here has said before, perhaps it wouldn't be such a bad idea to do some sort of marriage counselling.
Your selfconfidence has obviously suffered at some point which needs to be rebuilt in order for you to be able to trust her again. On the other side, your wife needs to see that you really do love her.
Sometimes some mediation from an independant person can work miracles. Makes you see things from a different point of view and point you in the right direction.
All the best and good luck. If you two do love eachother like you say I am sure you'll overcome this and be even stronger together at the end of it.
2006-10-20 00:36:47 · answer #2 · answered by nicoled2408 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow. She just told you she had an affair with another man three days ago and is upset that you are not interested in sex?!?! How does she expect you to perform whn you just learned she has been unfaithful? She doesn't exactly sounds apologtic about it and in fact still tries to put the blame on you with her 'reason'. An affair is not something you get over in a few days or even few weeks. It is very honorable that you agreed to try to work it out (I know I couldn't if my husband ever did) but it sounds like she just expects you to get over it. I really think you need counseling if you or your wife want any chance of saving this marriage. I have to wonder if you are both younger or ogt married young as she sounds extremely immature given the seriousness of what has happened in your marriage.
2016-03-28 02:22:59 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The truth is out-she wasn't cheating, you were wrong to think so and feel like and idiot-end of story-why are you causing arguments?? I don't understand what you are saying. You should be saying you are sorry, sorry sorry. You have to do something about whatever you are doing and change it so these arguments do not ensue.The last thing I would be doing if I was accusing someone of cheating and they were not, is starting an argument or fighting with someone especially if I was totally wrong. I would do everything in my power to have them know that I was wrong, stupid and won't do it again.
2006-10-20 00:23:29 · answer #4 · answered by Pesty Wadoo 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to recondition your behavior in not starting arguements since the issue is yours. Sounds like you have low self esteem. Your starting arguements with your wife is a coverup for something going on in your life. You have to make a conscious effort not to argue with her. Start saying positive things to your wife. Positive receives positive. The arguements will be much less. Arguing is healthy but not in the extreme where you are hurting the other persons character in calling names and accusations. Just keep reminding yourself to remain calm and discuss things with your wife. I bet she would love to have a calm conversation with you instead of an arguement.
2006-10-20 00:19:38 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
What has happend in your past to make you feel this way?
Have you known someone to cheat in the past?... Not necessarily a previous lover... maybe a member of your family or friends?
You definitely have issues and it is unlikely they have come from nowhere.....
Either you are living in the past or you have serious issues with your self estime.
Do you believe your wife loves you? Do you love and trust your wife?
Move on... and live... Living is hard enough, without the pressure you are placing upon it!
I wish you the very best of luck and hapiness....enjoy life.. it is there for the living!
2006-10-23 10:33:11 · answer #6 · answered by nicci p 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you sound like you have some low esteem issues to get sorted.
Why not do something nice for the wife go home with some flowers help with dinner ask if she would like to watch a film maybe a glass of wine.
just start doing stuff together and help her out about the house .you must have been tough on her the last few months and you need to move on with the jealousy.
what are you moaning at her about if its something stupid calm down 10 seconds and let it go .
my husband ranted at me the other night because he couldn't find the remote control for the dvd player and was blaming me it was stupid even getting into a temper for it in first place,it was my sons fault it was moved but it left me pissed off all night !
Think about what you are moaning about please and do try to stop.
2006-10-20 00:21:55 · answer #7 · answered by Nutty Girl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey dude, just let it all go, sounds like you have a lovely wife, and you are a very lucky guy, also admire you for admitting that you were wrong, so know its time, to stop the arguments, talk to your wife, and sort it all out, and move on....take care good luck and god bless.
2006-10-23 13:05:23 · answer #8 · answered by donua1022 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The answer is in your hands - give her a break - poor lady. You are EXTREMELY lucky that she still loves you but if you carry on as you are doing, you'll drive her away and who could blame her for going. Show her that you love and trust her, treat her and a girlfriend to a weekend of pampering at a health farm or wine and dine her but for goodness sake STOP beating yourself and her up about something that never happened - good luck
2006-10-20 01:03:49 · answer #9 · answered by Morsel 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds to me like you were hoping she was having an affair, so you would have had a reason to dump her.
A 45minute session once a week is not going to solve your problem. Only make the counselor richer.
Take the money and go on a get away together (if you do want to stay with her)
2006-10-20 00:21:03 · answer #10 · answered by lily 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋