My husband was a violent cheat. i left taking our 4 month old daughter with me,he wishes to have no contact with her, has made threats and wishes me dead. this was 10 months ago. i've just found out he's been posted to Afghanistan. How should i be feeling??
2006-10-19 23:22:22 · 40 answers · asked by Bunglezippy 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
There is no right or wrong way to feel. You feel what you feel. That may be relief, anger, retribution or a zillion other feelings, go with it and as long as they (your feelings) don't obsess you. You'll be ok. It's all a healing process. Concentrate on looking after yourself and your daughter and everyting else will fall in to place.
2006-10-19 23:34:45 · answer #1 · answered by Karen D 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The obvious answer would be to just not care but obviously you have got a daughter together and at some point you must have loved him to actually got married to him, and there are probably some good memories too.
I don't know, this is difficult. You obviously know it's best that he's out of you life, for you and most of all for your daughter (who gratefully isn't old enough to understand and realise what's going on).
Try and distance yourself, perhaps even be glad he's further away from you so he can't do you any harm.
And enjoy your life without him, you are a million times better off and so is your daughter!
Good luck! xxx
2006-10-20 00:42:40 · answer #2 · answered by nicoled2408 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My first thought would be "safe"?
I know it is a scary and difficult decision that you made, but you must have felt it was the right thing to do for you and your daughter..it def sounds like it..
How you should be feeling depends on alot of things..but you need to just focus on yourself & that baby..
And your and her safety is first and most important..
If he wants no contact w her that is his loss, and he will regret it one day..don't let it go if he is financially responsible for her, if he is in military then go thru them not him..they will make sure she is taken care of..
I wish you and her a wonderful life, i hope you find someone that is good to you and her..and have a long life together..BJ
2006-10-20 01:14:40 · answer #3 · answered by bewarebjbites 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
im not going to even think about telling you what to feel, the fact that you took your daughter with you is a very good sign that you are a kind person since some mothers dont do that (UNTHINKABLE!) but i will tell you what i would feel and what most would in your situation...releived that he's gone and unable to make anymore threats.
Raise your daughter with kindness
Luv Alice in Wonderland
2006-10-19 23:30:57 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like he hasn't given you a reason to waste your worries on him but no matter how bad he is, he is still the father of your baby and it's understandble that you have some feelings for him, even though they are not romantic feelings. There are things you wouldn't wish on your worst enemy and being sent to Afghanistan would be one of those things in my book.
If you don't feel anything, you don't have anything to feel guilty for. You did yourself and your baby a favour when you left him and you should focus on your life and happiness.
2006-10-19 23:30:11 · answer #5 · answered by IC 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
please please please do not contact this man...i fled with my 3 sons when they were all small because my ex was a very violent man towards me and my kids, he did exactly the same to me, made threats sent me horrible messages, wrote nasty letters, had his family spy on me....he is doing this to scare you, he still thinks he can control you....thank god he's in Afghanistan.....if he makes any more threats get in touch with his commanding officer and report the bastard....if he has written any letters to you with these threats then copy them and send them to who ever is in charge...they don't tolerate any of this....you should be feeling relieved hun...he's nowhere near you....don't have this spineless coward hurt you any more and keep your child well away from him....He's not a man darlin he's a spineless coward....and it does not look good if he's serving for his queen and country....don't be sorry for him....just pity him....and for gods sake dont feel sorry for him and take him back...he will continue to hurt you...even though he says he wont....let him stay where he is and rot...he does not deserve you or your daughter
2006-10-19 23:36:18 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
YOu should be feeling very happy that he is posted there and wish that he won't come back to you because he is a no good useless husband and father.
2006-10-21 05:03:13 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nobody can tell you how to feel. maybe this time apart will be good for him and he will grow and become more mature and less violent. He definately needs some counseling. Although I do think he should see his little girl before he leaves. Just make visitation supervised and with someone other than yourself. Good luck
2006-10-19 23:26:37 · answer #8 · answered by kelsey 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Only you can answer this.
Do you love him still or do you wish him dead also?
You don't have to feel anything...so don't let anyone tell you otherwise.
If you feel nothing for the man... appraise your relationship with him and do something about it.
2006-10-19 23:35:46 · answer #9 · answered by Harrison N 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i personally would let the athorities know of the threats just to leave a paper trail in case he comes back...and keep ur eyes and hears open to ur surroundings..i'm not saying to b paronoidbut always b aware.. that goes for everyone. and thank ur lucky stars he that far away.
2006-10-19 23:34:40 · answer #10 · answered by wildspirit1313 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋