One week ago after after a period of time which i thought we had reached a turning point in our marraige and were getting on. After having a high tendancy to be both emotioanly dependant on her and also saying things to upset her l. She finally reversed the roles and told me she was not in love with me any more but loved me and was tired of having to mother me everytime she said something i did not like. I had already accused her of having an affair with a freind of ours whilst i was away on a training course for a new job i had taken to improve our quality of life. Something inside me made me want to phone my wife early on the last bank holiday she was very strange. I was always aware of her closeness to our freind but thought nothing of it untill i returned home and found condoms missing from the draw . She of course denied it and i beleived her but it turns out she was and admitted it i told her i would forgive it and move on but she says she does not know what she wants please help
2006-10-19 22:46:13 · 17 answers · asked by very confused 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
There is no need to have to ask, she has already made that decision, probably long ago! Tell her it is time she moves on!
2006-10-19 22:54:28 · answer #1 · answered by Anarchy99 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My first inclination is to say kiss your wife goodbye because it is very clear that she does not love you any more. Not in a romantic way anyhow. But I have the idea that's not what you want to hear or intent to do. So, here's what I think you ought to do if you have any hopes of winning her back.
Stop smothering her and start acting like the adult you are. Jealousy is a very destructive thing. So is suspicion. So, from now on no nagging or sneaking around. Act as if you could care less what she does. Gain selfconfidence. Women love men who respects themselves. Most of all, be strict with her. As an excample, if you catches her whispering on the phone, tell her calmly to go and do it somewhere else. And next time you suspect that someone's else is sleeping in your bed, you can put a sexy panty or a strange ear ring in your bed so that she can discover it and get an idea of how something like that make one feels. The whole idea is that she no longer sees you as someone pathetic, weak and insecure. I bet if you follow my advice things will change for the good for you. Good luck!
2006-10-19 23:11:18 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The phrase "I love you but am not in love with you" is pure bull crap. It means nothing.
It sounds like you need to man up. No matter what they say, no woman wants to deal with a needy mate.
Put your foot down and take charge of your life. Put a stop to her cheating or put her to the curb. This is the direction she needs.
You both are wandering around with no course in mind.
Get some backbone.
2006-10-20 00:53:57 · answer #3 · answered by Flagger 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it's almost impossibble to forgive cheating,and even if you did forgive it the other person is still in your marriage, her reaction to you wanting to forgive her is a slap in your face, how degrading it is to want to do the right thing and have someone respond as she did. even if you forgave and you resumed your life with her, theres always a chance of it happening again and it really hurts alot more the second time after you have tried, and gotten confortable again. when cheating happens its best to just get a divorce , because whenever she doesn't get what she wants from the relationship whe will be cheating again.best to cut your losses now and move on than to get hurt all over again. its so honorable of you to forgive her and want to start new, you must really love her alot, she really doesn't deserve you. just move on and get away from her, cause cheaters are always cheater's.i believe our intuition tells us when things aren't quite right, and you were just reacting to what you could feel, save yourself years of hurt and pain and move on now. you were trying to improve your life and while you were gone she cheated, trust is most important in a marriage and without it theres no reason to stay married to someone.sometimes we just have to let it play out, let the other person go even if it hurts us.
2006-10-20 01:26:10 · answer #4 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
"translate she doesn't know what she wants" to I want to see if this other guy is going to take on the financial responsibility of me and if he doesn't then I will stay with you.
Don't be a doormat. Be assertive. Make the decision for her and tell her she needs to leave. Watch how quickly her cloudy mind becomes clear.
2006-10-20 01:14:21 · answer #5 · answered by GrnApl 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
my friend there can be many answers to these relations, and it depends on how you 2 love each others .
if this love remain from just 1 side, this is not Worth it !!!
but i have a method that you should know what she wants for example, having no problem in methods of sex, in seeing each other (time), . . .
but in my mind i can forgive my girl friend that having affair but not my wife(unfaithful).
so you want to help your self she must love you(a lover live for her self and die for his beloved) or kill your time...
please be wise in your choice.
2006-10-19 23:06:18 · answer #6 · answered by hameds2209 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If ur smart u will kick her out... You sound like u love her ALOT and thats understandable!!
Why is it that the ones we love most, hurt us the worst!?!?!
I cant answer that for u except maybe offer this,
KICK HER OUT!!
She is a no good, cheating rag who doesnt deserve u!! Or the roof over her head!
2006-10-19 22:50:20 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's a tuf question and i think it depends on what you both feel for each other. your love is stronger but let me ask you this .
When you married was she the most important thing in your life?
Is she now?
2006-10-19 22:55:44 · answer #8 · answered by IQ lady 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are in a bit of a bother,I don't think she is worth the air she breaths and you should move on and find someone who deserves you. You know you can do better.So go for it.
2006-10-19 22:53:40 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
if she is going outside of the marriage she is loosing interest. End it. There is someone out there that is the right person for both of you.
2006-10-19 22:56:10 · answer #10 · answered by mnm4213 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋