I slept with this guy whilst he had a girlfriend(stupid i know),he said it was great and he really enjoyed it etc. Ive know him for a year and 1/2&he has been with his girlfriend for 4 1/2 years. They have recently split up. In the past he said there must be something there(ie feelings)but he would allow himself to get in that position. I met him on holiday where we spent a week together and nothing happened then, i didnt have any feelings. But in May of this year i got feelings (we speak everyday) and met with him in July when we slept together. He says that now he just doesnt feel the same even though he enjoys being with me physically. We are meeting again this Monday&one minute hes sending suggestive texts and that we will end up hooking up &the next minute he says that he doesnt want to give me thw wrong idea&that nothing is going to happen. Im totally confused? I just feel there is something there. He said hed never split with his girlfriend&look what happened.
2006-10-19 22:31:09 · 17 answers · asked by Kyra 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
It sounds like he wants the s*x but not a relationship
2006-10-19 22:36:30 · answer #1 · answered by RM 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's playing you and/or he's confused too.
I think you should steer away from him until things settle down a whole lot for both of you, until you can think, see, and feel much more clearly. Considering both your states of mind, this is not the time for either of you to make big choices and changes or take big chances either.
Something may really have been there. But, grown ups w/principles, ethics, & standards learn not to automati-cally/impulsively act on them just b/c they're "feeling" those "feelings". Sometimes, it's just raging hormones, gonads calling, & and a full moon. That's ALL. It's not always as "special" as one would dreamily believe.
Further, he's sending you mixed messages that show he's more screwed up than ever & taking you along for the ride. Is this a trip you realllllly want or need?
It's convenient and timely he's just split with his girlfriend even after he said he'd never. But, again, this turn of events does not always mean that it's the right time or, more importantly, that he's the right person for YOU.
The universe is not necessairly giving you the green light here, especially when it's quite convenient and timely to pursue you without guilt--for HIM.
At times you go with your feelings and your guts. At times, with your head and with good, solid reasoning. And, sometimes, you have to slow down and put the two together to get a better, if not, the best answer.
It's a good sign you're feeling AND thinking this time round. You gut is telling you a lot or you wouldn't be asking the question(s). Let him sit and be confused (and confusing) all by himself. Let him come up with the real reason he cheated on her with you, if he's honest and capable. At least you've matured and know better now.
Good luck. Hold out for better.
2006-10-20 06:04:58 · answer #2 · answered by answerme 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Im sorry to say this but i really think this guy is bad news. Even if you two got together, whos to say he wont cheat on you too? If you two start having problems or he gets bored he could easily do the same to you. I think he's trouble and will only bring you hurt. I've been in a similar position to you - and yes he cheated on me. I didn't see it at the time - all my friends would tell me to ditch him but i just didn't listen. And now i see what i should've done.
If he really wanted to be with you/didn't want to be with his girlfriend he should have broken up with his girlfriend first - there is NO excuse for cheating. And now they are no longer together, if he really wanted to be with you now, then he would be with you! And not just be with you physically.
If he really had true feelings for you, he wouldn't just be able to use you physically, he'd need more. I think you need to get out now - that boys gonna bring you nothing but pain.
I really do hope you take my advice, because even though i dont know you, i can see the pain coming your way. Maybe you could try take your mind off him by spending time with your friends/starting a hobby. Just keeping busy might help you take your mind off him.
2006-10-20 05:45:21 · answer #3 · answered by Naomi 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he's not worth it then! stop sleeping with him. you are letting him walk all over you! he is using you for sex. he says he enjoys being with you physically,why doesnt he want the rest of you? it sounds like hes having his cake and eating it .You cant make him love you,so dont try !you dont know he could be doing this to a number of girls to get his kicks because he's just come out of a long term relationship. Be sensible and just be his friend no more freebies! you can find someone who want you for you! if you continue sleeping with him it will only make you feel worse in the long run!
good luck girl!be strong! x
2006-10-20 05:44:40 · answer #4 · answered by bless-it-be 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You wanted him when he was unattainable to boost your ego, if you want my advice text him back thanking him for the memories and find someone more reliable, he slept with you when he had a long term girlfriend so what's to stop him doing the same again somewhere down the line?
2006-10-20 06:08:03 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you will feel more confident if you take sex off of the table,,you wont have it muggying up your confidence when you see and talk to him,,tell him you understand that he doesnt have a clue and that you are not going to talk of relationships ,sex or you and him,,you are just wanting to get to know him as just a guy who is good company,,he takes it or leaves it,,he may just find it easier to talk with you if he knows the rules as no one can expect to get hurt.keep conversations clean but let him know you may be open to a relationship but only when he would be ready,,otherwise it is a painful waste of his and your time,you never know.
2006-10-20 05:37:58 · answer #6 · answered by lex 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He wants you to feel confused so he can pursuade you round to sleeping with him again (in other words, confused = vunerable) he doesn't want a relationship with you just s e x! But good luck in sayin no - unless you wana be played.
xxx
2006-10-20 05:39:37 · answer #7 · answered by ♥ Jodi ♥ Kaydi's Mummy ♥ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its sounds to me he only wants you for one thing SEX! I wouldnt even bother with a guy like that! You can find so much better. I better cancel the date and say your busy!
2006-10-20 05:38:58 · answer #8 · answered by Angelkiss85 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This man is neither b/friend or friend material, i'd cut my losses now on both aspects, sounds like a looser to me who wants his cake and eats it too. He's all about the shag this one.
2006-10-20 05:56:45 · answer #9 · answered by dubgirl26 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you are onto a loser here. dont allow him to mess you around in this way, put astop to it before you get in too deep and get more hurt..you are headed for a world of pain for sure, dont do that to yourself as its clear there is no longterm future with him..good luck
2006-10-20 05:36:58 · answer #10 · answered by ginger 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋