I'm a girl, yes. But I'm so much a guy inside. At least that is how I feel. I'm not saying I hate to be a girl- there are some aspects of it I like. I like to wear make-up, but I also wear boy clothes every day. I like it when I look nice, but so do a lot of guys. I wouldn't want to get surgery, I believe in working with what I've got, but....
I ordered my first prosthetic today, and am just looking for a site where I can talk with other people who are like me. I'm not looking for a lesbian site. Though I think girls are pretty, I'm really more (straight? gay?) than bi. I mean, I've had a few girlfriends, but I think it was more about feeling like a guy than actually wanting to be with a girl. (Except once.)
Is there anyone who understands me? I keep finding sites for bois who like girls. But that's no help to me. I sometimes wish I'd been born a gay man, but luckily my partner now (who is male) likes to feel like a girl sometimes. So I have a bit of an outlet I guess...
help???
2006-10-19 21:07:06 · 8 answers · asked by soundrocksgod 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
Although I am bi sexual, I recognize a lot in your story.
I feel very much in between, androgynous, and although I dress mostly in boyish to inbetween, my hair is still long. For a long time I felt a strange pea in every jar, still do sometimes, because the most people don't understand what I am talking about or what I feel, and even most transgender f-m will look more like a guy then I do and might not understand my transgenderism. If I would shave my hair, or cut it short, I look much more masculine.
The feeling I have is being in the middle, sometimes far more male then female, sometimes a bit more female then male. I've got a relationship with a man for 15 years and although he accepts me for who I am, and he enjoys my masculinity in the way I am, he prefers for me to still have long hair and keep a bit of femininity in my appearance. I guess that's the main reason why I didn't cut it of so I could look more masculine.
If I would look the way I feel, one day I would have short hair and being a man and on an other day I would have long hair and look like a woman. Maybe I should shave it off and buy myself a wig ;-)
I have been thinking about surgery in the past, but I know that I will still feel in between. I have never felt like a woman and willl never be a man, just as I have always felt like a guy and wil never be a real woman. I have also been thinking about taking hormones, which I still think about.
Hormones are weird. I went through some pretty heavy hormonal imbalances and I know the feeling of a lot of testosteron just as well as the feelings of a lot of estrogens.
I definately prefer the feeling of testosteron ;-)
I recognize the 'gay' feeling you're talking about, when I am interested in a guy. Like I said I like both sexes, and I can play the feminine part and enjoy that, but I get the most exited (and feel the most myself) when I feel my masculinity when I have sex with a man.
Contact me if you want. If you make yourself available for email on yahoo answers, no-one will see your adress but then you can send me a message. I think we might have a lot in common. I don't often meet people who have the same feelings as I do.
Feel welcome.
2006-10-21 03:48:22 · answer #1 · answered by Bloed 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In a sense I understand. I had a male friend who disliked being a male but wasnt gay. He had a girlfriend but he was always saying he wished he was a lesbian. He said he felt like he was born in the wrong body. It sounds like gender identity crisis.
From my own point of view I dont understand. I am a lesbian and I love being a woman. I dont want to or try to look like a man. You just have to find a way to be happy with yourself. And if nobody else understands or dont like it, to heck with them. We are all different in our own ways. Some people just dont have the balls to admit what they feel inside.
2006-10-20 04:12:42 · answer #2 · answered by tmills883 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
wow you are like many people i know
just you admit it
it sounds like you are in the middle of the gender lines
i could say i am just like you other
then the genders being switched around
i feel like i am a female that love females
yet i am a male, well in my pants
i am going to have operations one day
but i have spoken to people that choose not to
so i sort of understand what you are saying
i don't know of any websites for people in your situation
but i am sure they are out there
if you look in a search engine for transman
one of the sites should be able to link you where you need to be
if you where born a male wanting similar things
i would say a site called trannyweb.com
the fact this site is there means somebody
would have done it the other way
good luck finding what you are looking for i am sure it is out there
2006-10-20 04:23:57 · answer #3 · answered by Zara3 5 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Maybe it is because I don't feel like you do, but I don't really see a problem.
There is nothing wrong with you to wear men's clothes if that makes you feel comfortable. If you want to be with a guy, that's fine, do so because you love him. My advise is be yourself and do what makes you feel good.
Don't mind about male / female or gay / straight stuff, these are only words. Just accept yourself as you are, there is nothing wrong with that.
2006-10-20 04:12:15 · answer #4 · answered by meiguanxi :) 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow. Somehow some people think if they "feel" something is true, then it is true. Now you are even role playing this "feeling" and reinforcing it. If you contact people who "feel" like you do, there will be plenty of lesbians with butch haircuts who will "encourage" you. You see where your "feeling" is leading you, don't you? I sincerely don't recommend this path for you. It is not good for you. Not now, but in ten years you will realize the truth of this. Nice if we could make the right choice today so that in ten years we don't have that moment in which we wish fervently that we had made the right choice. This is your opportunity to correct a bad choice before it gets really started.
2006-10-20 04:53:13 · answer #5 · answered by pshdsa 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋
There is a yahoo group called the TheTransgenderPlanet, they talk about everything mostly F>M transsexuals It may help you find out you are not alone in your feelings. Good Luck I wish you well.
2006-10-20 07:03:18 · answer #6 · answered by P M 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you have a gender identity problem not a sexual orientation problem.
What is it that makes you like feeling like a guy since you obviously attacked to them but still like to look like a girl?
I suggest getting a shrink which I don't normally but some of them specialize in gender identity issues and might be a able to help.
good luck!
2006-10-20 04:12:28 · answer #7 · answered by BabyBella 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
You're okay then as long as you marry a guy even if it is as a gay man .
2006-10-20 04:12:42 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋