I met him 2 years ago and we have a 1 year old son. I knew he had 3 daughters but I didn't know what it was like to be with a man with kids especially them. When ever we go out they just want to be with him and I DON'T HAVE THE SPACE TO BE WITH HIM,I feel like hes not mine and i can't do anything when they are around. I'm not happy, maybe because I'm selfish, jealous, etc. He is a very good man, the perfect father to my baby. Also he was recently divorced from an 18 year marriage. He doesn't feel anything for this woman, in fact he can't stand her, he is very in love with me, but all his problem kill me, it really hurts me alot the problem with his kids. The only reason I don't leave him is because I want to give my baby the family I didn;t have. The age is no big deal.
2006-10-19 20:36:41 · 14 answers · asked by Heidys P 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
They want dad time. You are almost the same age and that makes it difficult as they don't view you as a "future step mom" ordeal. They view you as what they would view you as any other girl their age. They might have strong views that is opposed to you two dating.
Yet, they just might want dad time and don't know how to properly act after having years with their dad exactly like this.
Talk to him about it and figure out a respectable way to handle situation like that.
It might be your own insecurities as "I feel like he is not mine". He isn't yours as much as he is a dad to his girls. Be proud of that! Be proud he is a great father to your child and his other 3. At the same time, you can do something while they are around. You just have to actually do it and not sit back and watch it happen.
They have to be almost adults or adults if you are with him. Therefore, I doubt they are around him all the time and eventually won't need to be as they get a lot older.
That is not a good reason to stay with him. You stay with him to be with him. Not use him as a daddy source to your child as he should be a daddy figure whether you are with this guy or not.
2006-10-19 20:47:31 · answer #1 · answered by Mutchkin 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your husband is 35 and you are 50, (15 yrs difference) Why can't your grown adult daughter of 25 date a 32 year old man(6-7yrs difference) ? Obviously your 35 year old Husband is not her biological father. You should know, most men in their 20's are not "mature" enough to stay in a committed relationship.Perhaps your daughter sees a mature, reliable, understanding man that may be willing to be by her side for the next 50 years. Do you really want to take that away? Why does his age matter so much? Why is it gross for a 25 yr old to date a 32 year old, but it's not gross for a woman to date/marry/have relations with ect. a man of 35 yrs whom is young enough to be your son? Think about how your husband's parent felt when he married you, considering you're probably about his parents age. Let your daughter be happy. If she does have issues over her lack of attention from her father it may be because you remind her of it every time yu see her do things YOU dislike or disagree on.
2016-05-22 04:36:35 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I dated a man that left me pretty much in the same situation. Except minus the child, which by the way is a HUGE factor here. When you and your husband got married and he choose you to be his new family, you became number one. Don't lose perspective of that. His daughters are threatened by you, your all around the same age! Give it more time. Your husband needs to be more understanding on your part, and his daughters need to grow up and start their own lives. Once they realize you are not bothered by them in any way, and are NOT going anywhere, they will move on. If possible try to be their friend, fake it-do not let them have their way. You are their fathers wife remember. Your husband is probably feeling pulled at times, but his top priority should be his wife. Just as it probably was the first time, before the children were even thought of. This is pretty normal for second marriages, but I thought grown kids-acted "mature"!
2006-10-19 21:14:56 · answer #3 · answered by sue d 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, you are jealous, and no, I am not saying this to be mean. If he didn't have any kids you would still be jealous of, say, his friends or the time he spent away from you, etc, etc. This is only natural, especially at the start of a relation. But you have to live with the facts.
His daughters may also be jealous of the time their father is spending with you, which is natural, too. They may be trying to spend more time with their father.
If you are feeling upset, you could try to arrange some quality time with him. I know it's hard with a baby, but it will help you feel better. Try to relax. Negativity never helps. You wouldn't want to look like someone who is trying to steal somebody's father away.
2006-10-19 20:47:25 · answer #4 · answered by Totally Blunt 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The age is not a big deal, but from his kids point of view you are the "other women", they will have all sorts of idea`s (you are after only his money, etc). But you have had a child together so use that as your base, never come between him and his daughters let them have their quality time (in time they will include you and your son). Don`t forget your husband always comes home to you and that is the most important. Don`t forget "JEALOUSLY" is detrimental to any relationship, without trust you have nothing!
2006-10-19 21:09:04 · answer #5 · answered by Bruce d 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would suggest that you don't try to drive a wedge between him and his children. Realistically, how often are his older children around? At least be honest with him, but try to see things from his point of view. Remember that when you are in a relationship with a mature man he will expect that you are mature enough to handle the relationship. Especially if you are the one who pursued him.
2006-10-19 20:57:19 · answer #6 · answered by D J 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It seems like you want attention and is not getting it because of his daughters. Well get in with the action meaning get involved with all of them. You are not jealous but think it is okay and you sit back and let it be. So involved yourself with them and get happy.
2006-10-19 21:41:56 · answer #7 · answered by JoJoBa 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
let him go out with his daughters sometimes and other times go out with you.
or just don't worry about it.
if I was you I'd get out when his health fails otherwise you're going to be his nurse and the daughters will not help.
2006-10-19 20:46:24 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Kids grow up and move away, or go to college.
2006-10-19 20:46:19 · answer #9 · answered by ladybugewa 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Then be with the man,forget about jealousy and selfishness,forget abut his family,just ,you ,him and your kid...
2006-10-19 20:43:07 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋