Help me pls!?

Question

Having a hard time being independent:
Since i was small. my parents wanted me to excel, i'm not too bright, and i was having a hard time in coping up in school and they hired tutors for me, until highschool. So when i entered college, i didn't have any tutors anymore,but i have friends who teaches me in science and math. I feel i was used to being dependent. So now, i graduated from college, as i'm looking for work, i don't feel confident, and i'm having fears of messing things up. It's hard for me to be independent. i was made to think that i can't do it without somebody helping me, i'm not confident enough

Answer 1

thinking this way only causes you to fall into that mindset.

did all of the people who helped you write your papers over the years? how bout your tests? who took them? YOU did, and even though they may have given you some advice along the way, you and only you made the decisions you've made in your life. keep it up! don't be shy, reserve, or coy when it comes to interviews. anytime you feel that way, think of all the people who have helped you to the point that you're at now. do they think you're a dissappointment? nope. so why set yourself up to be?

honestly, i know how you feel with the dependent issues. i have been for the most part of my life. the most important fact i've learned is the fact that only i control my destiny -- if i want to achieve my goals, why trust someone else to make them happen? just hold your head up high, and believe that you'll make it through the days to come. i know, and everyone else thats helped you knows you will. have you caught that memo yet?

Answer 2

Self esteem. For women this comes from the father. In your case, you just don't have confidence, confidence built on successful course work.

I think I got that right, so I will now talk about you, your desire for independence, and your current need for dependence.

Let start with a reference: What color is your parachute? It is a job hunting book with a lot more. Check it out.

"Fears of messing thing up". Everyday at work I have same fear. It is natural. It makes us careful, and yes we do mess up; if we learn from them, we can go on. When you accomplish little things first then larger things, you worry less about messing things up even when you do so. That is a sign of confidence.

Unless you plan to be a scientist or a mathematician, you probably have enough skills to get by; however, should you need help, you have the best allied--computer programs that teach you all sort of things. What is really nice is the computer will let you take your time. This too builds confidence.

Let us talk about being independent. We all have tradeoffs between being independent and dependent. For you one aspect of independence does not need tutors. There may be more, but that stands out. In many ways, we are naturally independent except when we need help. Guess what, we all need help. For you right now is to find a job. The term networking means being dependent on other people for job hints. Yes, this too is natural since we all at one time or another need help.

When everything is said and done, you will find a job that will lead to financial independence, but you will need other people to help you with the many challenges (opportunities) in life.

So find your parachute.

Answer 3

I am sure you can do it. Pray to whatever higher power you believe in. I myself recommend God, to give you strenght and do what Thomas the train did. say "I think I can, I think I can". After all you didn't have anyone holding your hand when you went in for your very first class. That is hard enough and took courage just to walk into a room of a bunch of stranger who you probably thought were smarter then you. But you did it!!!! Some people can't even do that ya know. Just be yourself when looking for a job. Give honest answers. And look for the ones that you would be most comfortable doing. It may also help to have a friend go with you and wait out in the car. It always helped me because I knew no matter what once the interview was finished there would be a smiling face out there waiting for me. Good luck.

Answer 4

I think it would be helpful to find a good counselor and get some help about this--it isn't a temporary problem and will continue to affect you all your life unless you find some way to resolve it for good right now. It isn't as simple a thing as just lack of confidence ----it could lead you to a very dependent relationship in marriage and marrying someone manipulative and could also affect the way you deal with your children. I would like to add that your problem in school might not have been a problem of intelligence-yougot thru college after all and write an intelligent letter ---sometimes kids that have borderline disabilities such as dyslexia come to think they are not intelligent when they are actually fighting an uphill battle because of some undiscovered disability

Answer 5

You never would have made it through college if you were not both bright and independent. Sounds like a lack of confidence. Think of all the things you have already accomplished! Write a list of things you have done all on your own, you may be surprised. Everyone messes up from time to time, try not to fear it and just do your best. You can do it! Think positive, think of the little cho-cho train, i think i can, think i can...

Answer 6

You are the one who passed the tests and all the exams! Your friends did not do that for you! You graduated from college... Try to value the knowledge you have and remember that no one is perfect. Don't look down on yourself! Your parents only did what they thought best for you and becuse they want you to do better than them. But at the end of the day what is most important to them is that you are happy! Just be yourself!!!

Answer 7

Please get a psychologist advice.You must bbe brave to chellenge what ever your threat.You have a good opportunity because you have passed from a college.You must be pride and full confident that you can be independet.You must try hard to get a job for supporting your independence.God will not change your fate if you do not make a hard effort to change your own fate.Please be smarter and make a good relationship with good friends.

Answer 8

ur confident has not gone anywhere. The greatest sin in the world is to think that I am weak and I can not do anything. So escape from these sins. Ur confidence is within U. Just u have to do is make ur confidence dominant not recessive.

Answer 9

The world can be a scary place out of college.
Just take it a day at a time.
And don't forget you have a lot to offer the workforce, you're educated and willing.
Once you have a job your confidence will increase.

Answer 10

hiya jes, me an indian too. however the factor is that i'm a lill elder (23 now). so that you dated for two months!! good enough thats a fairly few minutes for a few one to die for. in case you die , will the fellow you're keen on consider well? may not he blame himself for this? and can this feel good about you? except as it may be visible you do not deal with your self or your loved ones's 19 years of affection, care and willpower closer to you. what do you suppose they are going to consider approximately your demise . maybe completely satisfied proper !! (good that is what you suppose) its no longer approximately castism, its approximately being extra CARING closer to you . you will not consider this now considering the fact that you suppose you're in love. i personally have passed through this level. felt like death. after which acquired a brand new man who cherished me too an i too fell in love with him however he nonetheless used to be misplaced and that i felt suicidal once more and after oftentimes i acquired an additional man am in love with .!!! you are not able to get a man if he isn't your destiny. you are going to get simplest YOUR GUY. God has higher plans for you. you're simply 19 . that is the typical feeling at this AGE. merry christmas ..experience..