gobby teenager problem?

Question

how can i stop my 15yr old running off at the mouth...dont get me wrong, hes a good kid generally and hes not abusive or anything but at the moment he is a rebel without a clue! he says things he doesnt really mean without thinking and its causing problems at school..he has been through a bad time this year and he needs to learn to control his feelings appropriatly...any tips welcome...no patronising comments please

Answer 1

im a 16 yr old girl i am practically the same i had alot of problems at home last year i kept things bottled up inside and then let rip at anyone who was making it hard for me including my mum i was worse than your son, i had fights with my mum all the time and it was horrible then i went counselling at school because one of my teachers recommended me to it, so i could talk to someone that i dont know about everything and it wouldnt matter what i said, it helped alot, even though at first i didnt like it, i thought why am i talking to this stranger about my problems its nothing to do with them, but then i realized they encouraged the anger out of me by talking about it and now well i feel alot better about talking to a counsellor at school- by the way all schools have counsellers get your son to go to one, you wont know what is going on inside his head but he will sort himself out and thank you in the end! hope this helps let me know how it goes!

some of these answers you have from parents are wrong my mum tried it with me the money thing it make the child angry-er and then because they shut up cause they dont want them to lose any more money they keep it bottled up its not what you want your child to do, yes we may be annoying at times but we want you to understand us and why we are like this, not ignore us and turn up the TV! or dock our money so we shutup! its not the right way to do it! it will make your kids worse parents trust me! and then you will have the worst relationship with your kids neither the kid or the parent wants that so doint make it worse listen to your children when they are mouthing off you may actually learn something about them because remember YOU DONT KNOW WHAT THEY ARE THINKING! and try and get them to go counselling that helps get anger out and will help YOU greatly!

Answer 2

Going through more or less the same thing at the moment. But I've let myself down, because I have the answer. I just forget to use it. It's this: fine him.
My daughter gets enough pocket money a month, which she has to earn (Real hard work - unpack the dishwasher every day!) and she has to clean her bedroom.
She gets £40 per month, which she can do what she likes with, within reason. I buy her school clothes, her underwear, her pyjamas, her shoes, her winter coats, her basic clothing.
But when she's cheeky - she loses £5. And that's all I say- £5! She knows what it means. She shuts up because she doesn't want to lose anymore. It stops the tantrums straight away, there's no emotional buildup. It's those magic words £5!
But I do forget and get kind. And you have to be consistent. If you say £5 - mean it!
Good luck.
Just read the note from the 16 year old and have to add: the situation has calmed down - there is no need to have anger in my house anymore. The situatuion doesn't build up with people yelling hurtful things at each other. My children have sports which they use to expend their physical energy. They have no reason to get angry, otehr than most of the problems we all have. And they've learnt a bit of self control and respect. Their school work has improved - because you can now reason and talk things through.
Sorry 16 year old, you're talking from a kid's point of view, which is self centred.

Answer 3

I'm 26 now but 10 years ago I was quite a rebel as well. Believe me when he matures up, he'll look back and think how stupid he was. Like they say you don't know what you had until its gone. He needs an attitude adjustment but your afraid of driving him too far if you try to punish him. Let me tell you what my problem was...it was my friends. And its most likely his friends. He could be jealous of something they have perhaps. I was jealous of my friends being so rich and free to do anything while I was just poor and lonely at home. This age is also a time where kids want to be alone and create their attitudes. I could go on and on on possible reasons. I would be willing to bet that if you two were alone somewhere doing something you both enjoy, he would temporarily forget about what other problems he has. A short vacation to a theme park would be a suggestion. Just try to rule out any thing where you two could get bored and hungry and start getting on edge. Another suggestion would be to give him a job, make him have some responsibility because with responsibility comes rewards. He's going to be driving soon, he's gonna need money for a car, so he needs a small job to see what its like to really make money. Again, I could go on, but when I saw this question it took me to a time that I hate thinking about. And he will too.

Answer 4

It is funny to see that you call yourself a smart person and then talk about all the school you skip. If you are half as smart as you think you are, you will realize that school is only for a short time and making the best grades possible will open all kinds of doors for you in the near future. Drop out and you will work for someone else all your life. Finish school and finish strong and you will decide what you do with the rest of your life. Sure it seems like a long road ahead just to get to graduation, but it is not as hard or as long as you think. Go back to school, get all the knowledge that you can, work to be the best, make others jealous about how well you do, then when you graduate, you can decide if you want to be a bum and talk to your ex-girlfriend at night. She will have left you for the guy that graduated and has a job, that is why I say ex.

Answer 5

Isn't being a teenager all about being cross & angry at everything & nothing all at once? If he's a good kid & not hurting anyone then hopefully he'll realise there's times where you can't just shoot your mouth off. Maybe he needs to channel this energy into something productive? My friends & I used to spend hours in band practice even though we never did anything more than letting off steam with some loud music. Whatever he's into he would do well to persue that as a way to get his feelings out in an appropriate way.

Answer 6

i have 2 teenagers at home, one boy and one girl, both have occasions to run thier mouths off. I have learnt to ignore most of it, and when they go over board there is always the dock it jar, or bed early. Most of the time they are just letting off steam, and dont we all feel like doing that sometimes. My children have a voice in what goes on, i listen to them, but at the end of the day it is my choice as a parent, what we do. As long as my teenagers are polite and well mannered outside of the house it does not matter much what they say to me. They dont say hurtfull things, so it is best to let it go over your head. If it gets too bad, just turn up the telly, dont react, and heres on i do, agrea with everything they say, "your right, yes i am a cow, yes dear" you should see the bewilderment on my sons face when i do it. I usually top it off with@and to show you how much of a cow i am 2pound in the dock-it-jar, and bed at nine" He quickly shuts up, backs down and kisses my butt. Hope you feel better soon, and just think 10yrs down the line, things will be so much different.

Answer 7

i find that we treat our kids to nice life, treats (when we can afford them) but it doesn't have to be materialistic. Whenever they start a behaviour we don't like we say to them "you be good and you will have the best life we can give you, you start this behaviour and we start taking your privileges away!" I must say it works i have a 14 yr old and 11 yr old (boys)! They just realise that life is so much nicer when they behave! Try and ask him whats worrying him too, perhaps spending some quality time together will help.Also just remember his hormones are probably playing a vital role in this! I'm sure he is a great lad and everything will be okay! You sound like you are a parent who cares, so he is a lucky lad! Good luck! just read some other comments, i use the docking of pocket money too! it works!! I wouldn't take too much notice re sending him to counselling, he doesn't sound like he is that messed up!

Answer 8

i have a 15 yr old girl. the amount of times i've been reduced to tears over her mouth is unbeleivable. however i never cry in front of her cos thats what she wants.
the things a person of that age see's as important are not what we see as important.
at that age a child is trying to prove they dont need authority. wrong they do.
you need him to know that no matter what you will be there.for him. that he can tell you anything at all without being judged or critisised.
children need to know they are loved. we all do. i tell my kids every day i love them. even when we had a row.
if he cant talk to you why not encourage him to write you a little note if he needs to talk to you. my daughter does it all the time. then we have a chat about her problems.
i hope this helps you
good luck

Answer 9

Just do the best you can do. Sit and chat with him. Hang out with him more. Do things with him that he likes to do. Let him understand how much you care about him by listening to him. You know maybe ask him if he wants to join a sport. Maybe that will get his mind off things, plus it keeps him doing something instead of just being at home doing nothing or on the streets hanging with the wrong people.

Answer 10

Think it is a normal 15 year old thing to do and it kinda like walking on egg shells as no matter what you say/do you are going to be wrong!!! Try not to punish yourself, it is honestly a teenager thing.
I think it is when kids are stuck at the age of 15, as they are at the top age of kids and lowest age of adults and they don't know what to be doing!!! They are too old for doing and saying certain things and too young to be doing/saying other things.
Let your son rife the stormy time and be ny his side if he needs you and whatever he says just ignore!!

Good Luck xx

Answer 11

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