shes trying to b somebody who shes SOO not. she is fat and wont go on a diet and her hair is really really frizzy and she doesnt brush it in the morning and she has curly hair. iv tried to recomend wat she could do to get rid of it and she wont listen. wat do i do
2006-10-19 20:25:46 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
It sounds like you are basing your feelings for her solely on her appearance and that you are treating her poorly which is probably really making her upset and feel really bad about herself and rejected.
Not all of us look the same or dress the same - even friends in the same group don't have to be clones - being different is what makes all of us special.
When I saw the headline to this question, I expected to read about something she did to hurt you or something like that I was suprised when it said she is driving you apart based on her hair and weight.
Friendship is blind - it is not based on looks - it is based on loving the inside of someone - the way they listen to you and care about you - how you can tell them anything and how you can trust them so to me it sounds like you are the one who is not being a good friend -- at all. It sounds like you have some need to pick on her - maybe you have some low self esteem so you cover it up by picking on this poor girl who sounds like she has enough confidence in herself to just be who she is and not go out of her way to make her appearance perfect - so why do you try continually to make her feel bad about herself?
If she wanted to change, she would but it does not sound like you ever said to her in a nice way - hey, let's do each others' hair - but more like you are putting her down so of course she won't be open to your help since you are being hurtful at the same time. While you may very well mean well, it sounds like at a young age you are already consumed with all of the wrong, least important things in life - it is what makes a person special - who they are - not what they look like that counts the most. Society portrays all of these perfect images that are not even real and young girls like you obsess over them and now you are putting down your friend cause she chooses not to live by some standards of society that are in reality - based on fiction.. Maybe she will want to take more care in her appearance when she gets older or maybe she is depressed - you don't know what is happening - you are just judging her.. And that is not something a friend would do - a friend is a friend no matter what someone looks like - who is always there for someone - who can be trusted - and you are not being these things.. I feel bad for her.
How is SHE trying to be someone she is not? It sounds to me like she is just being who she is and does not care what anyone thinks and maybe like you are trying to make her be something she is not - think about that.. maybe you mean well and maybe you don' t realize how cruel your question was and you probably say the same kinds of things to her - maybe you should care more about who she is than what she looks like.. Not everyone is beautiful or perfect - actually no one is perfect and really - who are any of us to judge anyone else?? Life is hard enough as it is without our own friends putting us down..
2006-10-19 20:34:32 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have been in situations like this before, though I am on the other side of it. I think that she really does love you but as a friend. These situations are really hard. Because it sounds as if she doesnt want to lose you but things are not romantic. You have to decide if the friendship is important enough to you. It does not sound like it will go much farther and may only hurt you. So does she mean enough to you to continue on as just friends? Can you put that other stuff aside? Good luck!
2016-05-22 04:35:58 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, no offense but it kinda sounds like ur a shallow person adn don't like her because she's fat. have u tried to get to know her? can u really judge her on her looks alone? it sounds like just because the majority of ur group dont like her you dont either. but if you do have a legitimate reason (and how would i know, im only going on what you've said) just try adn suggest that you dont like her. maybe encourage her to hang around other people. drop a few hints adn maybe she'll understand. start all playing soccer or something at lunchtimes, so that she wont want to join in.
2006-10-19 20:38:25 · answer #3 · answered by flying_tigers999 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
We're all different in our own ways.
by Joshua Yuchasz
Photo courtesy of Randee Yuchasz
Fourteen-year-old Joshua Yuchasz is a high school freshman in Milford, Mich. He plays in his school's concert band and on its football team. In addition to Godzilla, Yuchasz likes other reptiles, including Bubba, his pet red-tailed boa constrictor.
“Sometimes I wish I were like everyone else, but not really. Because I believe people should be respected for being different.”
All Things Considered, October 16, 2006 · What if everyone in the world was exactly alike? What if everyone talked the same, acted the same, listened to the same music and watched the same TV programs? The world would be extremely dull!
I believe it's important to accept people for who they are.
Differences are important and they should be respected. For example, many important people throughout history were considered different, such as Thomas Edison, Albert Einstein, Harriet Tubman, Peter Tchaikovsky and Abraham Lincoln. They did great things, but some people thought they were weird because they had strong feelings about something. I can relate to these people because I've been in that situation before, many times.
It all started in elementary school when I realized that I wasn't like everyone else. My mom says that I have a tendency of obsessing on certain subjects. Unfortunately, these subjects don't interest other kids my age and they really don't interest my teachers. In fact, my kindergarten teacher said she would scream if I mentioned snakes or lizards one more time while she was teaching the days of the week. I would get in trouble for not paying attention -- and the teasing began.
In third grade, my teacher informed me that I have Asperger's Syndrome. I said, "So what? Do you know that Godzilla's suit weighs 188 pounds?"
Later, I asked my mom, "What is Asperger's Syndrome? Am I gonna die?" She said that it's like having blinders on, and that I can only see one thing at a time, and that it's hard to focus on other things. Like I would tell anyone and everyone that would listen about Godzilla because my big obsession was, and still is, Godzilla -- not a real popular subject with the middle school crowd, and so the teasing continues.
I might be different because I have different interests than other teenagers, but that doesn't give them the right to be so mean and cruel to me. Kids at Oak Valley make fun of me for liking what I like the most.
People also make fun of me for knowing facts about volcanoes, whales, tornadoes and many other scientific things. My mom says that she has been able to answer many questions on Jeopardy! just by listening to what I have to say, but I've even been ridiculed for being smart.
Maybe someday I'll become a gene engineer and create the real Godzilla. I can dream, can't I?
Sometimes I wish I were like everyone else, but not really. Because I believe people should be respected for being different because we're all different in our own ways. This I believe.
2006-10-19 20:33:07 · answer #4 · answered by calpal2001 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
sounds like you have problems with this girl, and you are making suggestions that can only be taken as personal attacks. I can not imagine any one staying in a group with this sort of mentality I would recommend that you find a new group to hang out with
2006-10-19 20:46:30 · answer #5 · answered by rkilburn410 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
how is she being someone she's not is because she doesn't meet your groups standards? someone else said here if we all looked alike the world would be pretty boring.
you pretty much covered the physical aspects of her have you and your friends considered what she is like inside? beauty goes so much further than looks it what is in the persons heart that matters!!!
2006-10-19 20:37:59 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Who are you to judge her and her style? Sounds like you're the only one that doesn't like her. Stop worrying about what she looks like, if she looks bad, then more guys will look at you and not her. Be her friend regardless of how she looks, it's whats inside that counts. Don't be a b*tch.
2006-10-19 21:11:50 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
disassociate yourself from her gradually by making excuses or just avoid her entirely, but before you do, try to remember why she was a friend in the first place, you need to look beyond weight and bad hair, a true friend isn't judgmental or talks crap about them, no offense
2006-10-19 20:34:50 · answer #8 · answered by Mike H 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
well you don't have something to do, if she won't listen then give yourself a break, you know you can't force innocent ignorants...lf l were you don't tell her any tip and suggestion so that she will look more crazy...just live her in her life it's her own life messing herself...
2006-10-19 20:34:42 · answer #9 · answered by Nicole 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
no but seriously just tell her to go away
2006-10-19 20:27:59 · answer #10 · answered by rusty s 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋