I talked with my fiance which is out to sea fighting the war on terror.He will return three days before X-mas.I'm trying to plan a get-away vacation at the end of December thru Jan 2 for the celebration of New Years because he's been away from for about 5 monthsThe first thing that comes out of his mouth is well, I don't know. I have to get the twins this and my daughter this for X-mas.I have x-mas shopping to do and it takes money.I told him exactly but I feel like since you weren't here for my birthday which is in November that you shouldn't have no problems with me making the reservation. A trip to Vegas can be very inexpensive with package deals I see daily He still was arguing the fact that X-mas shopping for his other 4 children. I'm so upset because last year I was put off by his children and for New Years' Day, instead of us going to celebrate it, he kept his daughter's sister which isn't his and his daughter. I was so upset. I just see history repeating iself.What should i do
2006-10-19 19:12:21 · 10 answers · asked by sunny d 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
This is a tough one. He does have to see the children.He is a part of his children as well as part of you.
It will be a situation where you have to constantly share him with his family. Your heart has to be big enough to understand this.
On the other hand, you must be sure where you stand from his point of view. Where are you in his life?
Decide what to do If you find yourself always waiting in the sidelines for a handout or a scrap of attention.
Is your place firmly in the bottom of the heap? I hope not. If this is the case, let him go. There are other men who will put you first in their liives.
2006-10-19 19:27:35 · answer #1 · answered by QuiteNewHere 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dating someone with children is extremely hard. You will always take the back seat. You have to be more selfless. I know you don't want to but if you love him, that's what you have to do. Show him you understand what he's going through and see if you can find a cheaper trip instead of Vegas. Even if you could find a travel deal, just being there is expensive. Try doing a weekend trip. Better yet, include the kids one time. I know you want alone time and want to be the center of his life. But the truth of the matter is, his kids will always come first. And if you want a good father for your kids, you would want him to be the same way with yours.
2006-10-20 02:22:15 · answer #2 · answered by Curly Q Diva 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your fiance needs to spend time with his children because that's who comes first. You need to decide if that's the life you want. The kids will always come first and maybe if you take part in their lives things like Vegas will not matter so much. Going to Vegas or new years eve is not as important when you have children at home. If your a good parent you will want to spend time with your children and that sounds like what he is doing.
2006-10-20 02:25:44 · answer #3 · answered by Hey You 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You knew he had children when you got into the relationship right? You should have had at least some sense of his priorities. He's a father, he was a father before he met you and he will continue to be now that he has met you.
It'd be understandable if you were upset that he was making no time for you whatsoever but to be upset that he's thinking about his kids? I think that's a bit selfish on your part.
2006-10-20 05:48:32 · answer #4 · answered by Fanar 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The kids will ALWAYS come first. And they SHOULD. Even a married couple who has children puts the kids first in everything. They may slip away for an evening, or even a weekend, but they both know the kids come first. If you can't live with that, then tell him and leave him and find a man with no kids.
2006-10-20 02:29:44 · answer #5 · answered by old beatnik 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What should you do? Grow up and stop being such a damned spoiled brat. You're lucky you're with a man who's mature enough to take his responsibilities seriously -- and his responsibility is his kids -- not you. You, my dear, are a luxury -- not a responsibility. If you don't like taking a second seat to offspring, then I suggest dating someone without children. The world does not revolve around you.
2006-10-20 02:15:32 · answer #6 · answered by Writer of Truth 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
wat are doing engaged to him if you dont like the kids and cant deal with it leave because his kids will always come before you and you neeed to accept this and move on. either with him and his kids or by yourself ive got a daughter and know that if i got into a relationship she will always come first and if the guy couldnt accept that then id move on. im with someone that has three kids and know that they come before me and if i started to come before his kids i would be really annoyed because i wouldnt put him before my daughter.maybe he likes looking after kids instead of celebrating you may need to change the reservation to a later date so that he can spend xmas and new year with his kids cause hes away from them a lot.
but you really need to think about whether you really want to be second because if thats the case this guy is never going to give you this.
2006-10-20 02:35:25 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think he is a good father doing the best he can and you knew he had kids so this is part of the deal ,his kids should come first especially at Christmas.so stop thinking of your self and see things from his point of view or find a man without kids .
2006-10-20 02:19:25 · answer #8 · answered by stephanie n 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
my dear, you are treating the relationship as though he is single like you.
really, he isn't single .. he's a father.
get used to it or get out.
2006-10-20 02:16:39 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
he doesn't need u anymore, so !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!...?
2006-10-20 02:50:46 · answer #10 · answered by honey bear 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋