she is beautiful...kind...but shallow...i want someone i can talk to w/ serious topics...not showbiz...what should ido?
2006-10-19 18:32:33 · 20 answers · asked by Random Guy 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
There comes a point in a relationship when everything turns boring and sluggish. Suddenly, because of boredom we conclude that love is no longer there. It could be that you are right but you could also be wrong. You better make sure of your feeling towards her.
You married your wife for reasons that far outweighs your need for a serious conversation. I bet, you didn't marry her for that purpose otherwise, you shouldn't have married her. This is assuming of course that you want to marry an intellectual talker. Married life is too complex that we cannot drop a decisions based on uncertain feelings. Besides, there are better reasons you can identify as your reasons for marrying your wife.
How do you make sure that you don't love her anymore? Here are some of my questions you should ask yoursefl;
1) Do you think you can manage a day or a week or a month without seeing her, talking to her and just be with her?
2) If someone does her something wrong (like hurt her), can you bear the scene of her suffering?
3) When you decide to do something for the day, or plan for a weekend, do you still consider her in your decisions?
4) Do you think she has done so many great things to your life?
5) Do you think you've given her nothing but the best for the duration of your marriage life?
6) Will you leave your wife for someone more physically endowed and abandon your 7 years of being together? Can you tolerate the idea?
7) Have you been "naughty" lately? Have you cheated your wife?
I hope the above list of question will help you identify your true feelings towards your wife. Reflect on your answers and ponder on it. Whatever decision make, I hope you won't regret it in the future.
By the way, if you like to talk to your wife of issues other than showbiz, why don't you tell her? I'm sure, she'll be more than willing to try conversing with you about the topic of your choice. Remember this thing mate, in real life, couples never have the same interest, ideas, opinion etc. At times when there are disagreement, your love for each other is tested. How long can you endure it? How long are you willing to love? Its up to you.
Cheers.
2006-10-19 18:58:42 · answer #1 · answered by Lars Ulrich 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is it possible that she was really angry with you? People often say things in anger that they don't really mean. If she truly doesn't love you anymore, she must see the consequences of her unlove. I would hope she could think ahead to a future without a husband, possibly raising your son on her own. First off, do you truly love her? If you do, then try to find out what got you together to begin with and try to go back there. If you don't, it may be that you would be better off divorced, even if not monetarily. Your son will be fine, regardless of the outcome of this pothole in the road of life. More children go thru a divorce today than ever before, as the divorce rate is exceptionally high.( When I was young, the divorce rate was low...my parents were divorced by the time I was 5.) His friends and teachers will understand, as most of them have been thru it. If I were you, I would make a list of all the positive reasons to stay together, and a list of all the things that could come of splitting. Weigh the list and move accordingly.
2016-03-18 22:05:38 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
this cannot be answered on a forum such as this, and you should not be seeking an answer that gives you liscence to do what you want.
You married your wife for a reason, and it is up to you to discover what that reason was. It is up to you to open the lines of communication and talk to her seriously. Tell her how you feel, that there is distance between the two of you...
have you sought marriage counciling, or considered it ? If you want your marriage to work, the bad can't all be blamed on her, your feelings are your own, and you need to own them and take responsibility for them. she has her contributions she made to the way you are feeling, but without knowing the exact details, ( and not sure we need to know) you can't just find solutions to one sided questions.
Surprise your wife with her favorites, wether that is a romantic dinner, flowers or a warm bubble bath, be spontaneous and fun, start out with a back massage, only for her and see where it leads, or try a soothing foot rub...
Bring her home a cup of your favorite coffee ( tim Horton's here) and sit down and ask her what she thinks of the latest news, or try to interact with her on your feelings of certain things...
you never know, she may be feeling the distance too, this is something you both need to work together on...
Shannon
2006-10-19 18:41:37 · answer #3 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If all else changes with time, why bother falling in love? What exactly is love?
It is not the passionate kisses.
It is not the hot and sweaty making outs.
It is not those sweet words you whispered.
It is not the feeling of “butterflies in the tummy” when you go out on a date.
It is not the electrifying current you get whenever you are being hugged.
It is not that caresses or the hugs, each time you wake up to.
It is not the romantic candles light dinners or the expensive gifts.
It is not the sensational slow dance at the club.
It is not spoiling and pleasing each other silly.
It is not the smiles and the flowers that you get.
It is not the endless conversations that you had.
It is not how much you wanted to see each other.
It is not the desire to hold and touch.
It is not saying “I love you forever”.
It is not saying “I miss you so much, my dear”.
It is not spending all the time in the world together.
It is not how badly you want to be with each other when you are apart.
It is not how you look into each other’s eyes.
It is not how much fun you had watching a movie.
It is not the attractiveness of the looks.
It is not the money that is splurged on you.
It is not the length of time that you are together.
It is not the responsibility either.
So what exactly is the **** about love??
It is coming to term to accept the fact that he/she is part of you….
Not part of your life, but PART OF YOU!
Like your heart or your liver….. part of you.
"We come to love not a perfect person, but an imperfect person who might perfectly complete our lives."
2006-10-19 19:58:32 · answer #4 · answered by Myokiki 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you never really loved her from the beginning. But rather her beauty blinded you. Perhaps a counselor would be able to show you how to enjoy some serious communication. It's worth a shot. Before you throw away 7 years.
2006-10-19 18:43:05 · answer #5 · answered by iyamacog 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
why would anyone want to continually talk only about serious topics. Life is so serious as it is, her watching show biz stuff is an escape from all the BS that everyday life throws at you. Oh, lets keep talking about the murdered kid on the news today, or the other murder, or the other one, or the school shootings, or the rapes and abductions of 2 yr olds out of their house....yeah, that sure is uplifting. NOT! What makes you think what you want to talk about is what someone else wants to listen to. All work and no play makes Jill a dull girl!....maybe she isn't shallow, maybe your just bored with yourself.
2006-10-19 19:50:17 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why did you marry her? Are those reasons still there? Just talk to her about serious topics and see what happens. She might be interested or maybe leave some books around and see if she picks it up. Doesn't seem like a serious problem. You could also tallk to friends about serious things once in a while instead.
2006-10-19 18:53:15 · answer #7 · answered by wondering 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get a grip the grass is not greener on the other side your wife loves you you must have shared things in common with her in the early days remember what they were and try to bring them back believe me i neglected my wife and pushed her away not in quite the same way as you are maybe doing now but believe me if you carry on in such a negative way to her not praising her she will leave you and it will break you i did it to my wife and it broke me i am in pieces i would not like to see you like me on this forum asking what can i do my wife has left me for another man. If it makes her happy to talk about showbiz events join in
please.
2006-10-19 18:47:47 · answer #8 · answered by very confused 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You married her for a reason. Maybe you should be asking how can you talk to your wife. Instead of sayin you want someone. You have someone and how and what you chose to do with the situations up to you...but the grass is never greener on the other side.
2006-10-19 18:35:26 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get to a marriage counselor. If you go with an open mind it can do wonders for you marriage if you want to save it. All relationships go through some weird times...don't give up.
2006-10-19 18:36:22 · answer #10 · answered by invisibleone 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋