Men, if you are in a sexually satisfying and loving relationship... Why do you watch porn...?

Question

Based on questions and answers I have read from other women, I know I am not alone in feeling like its insulting. If a woman gives you great sex, and loves you, and doenst deprive you or regect your needs, why do many men still engage in watching porn and/or "self-pleasuring"? Do you know that it hurts most women and makes us feel inadequate? Personally, I have learned to cope with it, by watching movies WITH my husband, etc. But if your wife/girlfriend is getting her feelings hurt by it, why do you still do it? I can understand if your woman is cutting you off sexually, or whatever, but if shes willing, why would you choose your hand over her?

Answer 1

Men like to see "dirty" women being nasty.

They don't want to date that, or marry it, but they want to see it.

So many young girls act like those women, then don't understand why they don't end up in a loving relationship.

Answer 2

I can only speak for me. But it seems to me, no matter who you're with, and how happy you are, there are aspects of your sexuality that you may not wish to share with your partner. Maybe you're turned on by group sex, or threesomes. Maybe you like bondage, or whatever. And there's always the whole, different sensations that only come from masturbation, or a healthy fantasy life.

Pornography can be degrading, but it can be something that's not unhealthy. When masturbating, you don't have to think about if the girl is having a good time- it's all about satisfying your desire. i know personally, sometimes I just want to orgasm. I don't want to work on someone else's orgasm, touch me there, pull my nipple, etc. Maybe that makes me a bad person, but there it is.

Finally even without pornography, men and women have very active fantasy lives. To make a person say something like "I'm in a relationship now, so I won't ever think about other people." Is a little immature. I'm not advocating that men and women should constantly think about others with no mind to their partners, but because a man likes porn does not necessarily mean he's not completely into you.

Answer 3

Women don't get it, it's a need AT ALL TIMES.

It can hit randomly.

There isn't any mood swings or convincing necessary for a guy to want to do it.

Porn is always there and so is the hand.

Just because a guy looks at porn and/or beats off doesn't mean he is replacing you with it.

I will take the real thing over porn any day, period.

If a guy ever chooses masturbation or porn over a wife/gf then there is definetly a problem, but otherwise it shouldn't really be seen as such a strike against you.

Answer 4

There are a lot of good and bad answers here, but I figured I'd put my two cents in anyway.
I'm a might-as-well-be-a-wife and mother, and my boyfriend still looks at porn. I don't have a problem with it, and here's why.

One, he always prefers sex to masturbation, which to me seems as if he is settling for porn when the need arises.

Two, let's face the facts. 89% of women masturbate. When we do it, it's not always about our partner. The only difference is women masturbate to hypotheticals depending on their fantasies. Men are VISUAL creatures, and because of this they are more likely to think about a woman in a picture. Women, however, tend to use their imaginations and mix in emotions, preferring the images in their own mind to pre-made images obviously marketed toward men. Men are aroused by a still of nothing but a woman's breasts. Women are not aroused by a still picture of a penis. They may be able to become aroused, but it's because they make up a story behind the penis and put a face to it. You'll get way more aroused reading an erotic story than looking at a naked dude. And let's be honest, those naked dudes in porn videos are nothing for women to get excited about. There's no story, little foreplay, insensitive guys, no emotion, etc.

Women think they're being duped by this woman in the picture, but in reality there is little or no emotion connected with that woman. In a woman's fantasies, our men ARE duped by the picture in our heads. We picture someone who does everything perfectly; they picture someone who is warm and willing. When women want variety, they either do it internally or have an affair or talk with their husbands.

When men want variety, they want to skip the emotional connections, preferring visual cues related to the act of sex, they might also have affairs, and they're probably afraid their wives will be freaked out if they talk about "wanting variety." Women's affairs tend to start with the emotional connection first, then the physical connection, or both at the same time. Men's affairs are usually sex-oriented from the beginning, and they may or may not lead to emotional connection with the mistress.

Porn might be considered the safest of the variety options compared to talking to the wife or having an affair, obviously because they care about the woman they're with and don't want to upset her by cheating or insinuating that sexual practices should be varied (which could be misinterpreted as "our sex isn't good enough.") It's the lesser evil, as they feel they need an outlet for their "variety" instinct but don't want to hurt the woman they're involved with. They don't think we SHOULD be jealous, because they see no threat to the emotional relationship.

Answer 5

I hate this question because it is a waste of time. Men are constricted from so much **** when they start a relationship. They can't hang out with their friends as much, they can't watch as much football on Sunday, they can't watch porn. This is the thing ladies....if you have a good man, if he treats you right, if he doesn't cheat, if he doesn't do drugs, if he is not an alcoholic, if he always comes home at night and sleeps next to you, then let the stupid bastard watch porn. Go shopping or get your hair done. We're even.

Answer 6

I'm a wife and a mother and i have no problems with my husband watching it, I don't like to watch it I think it's funny.OK some women hate and feel betrayed but what is the harm it is not as though your partner is going out to get pleasure he's doing it in the privacy of the home, sometimes it helps to fantasise about other things it can also give the men/women lessons on how to pleasure their partner and it is said that masturbation is the best way to find out what you like or don't like what you want to try. don't think of it as you have failed or that they are cheating think of it as a lesson you never know they might want to try something that they might think you don't like.

Answer 7

first of all men watch porn just like u women watch the chippendale dancers and porn also. how come when men watch porn or go to a strip club, these insecure females get jealous or cry, but when these same women go these male strip revues it's ok, do i smell double standard. females get over it men are herefor womenand women are here for men. u only are insure when u are not secure about yurself. And no it does not hurt most women, speak for your self, yes i am a woman but we do not have this one big brain where we all think alike what offends u does not offend me or upset me, and what u might find offensive i find sexy, yes we have the same body parts, but i have my own mind and thoughts and all women do not think alike.

Answer 8

women will never be able to understand this.
first of all just as your body makes estrogen ours makes testosterone. estrogen does things to women just as testosteron does to males and testosteron makes men hor**. there was a recent study that said males think of sex every 52 minutes. it is because of the constant release of testosterone.
here is one answer from a very similar question, i really hope this helps you understand a little.

im happily married with a wife who is very pleasing almost any day of the week and i still find the time.
you have to look at it differently, sometimes we as men go for that whole romantic foreplay, cuddling, sweet and romantic love and then there are those times men would rather just skip that for 10 minutes of stress free pleasure. nothing against our girlfriends or wives.

Answer 9

So...you feel it is insulting, yet you've "learned" to cope with it and watch it with your husband??? Ok, so how else have you learned to cope with giving the green light to his insults? How sad. I'm guessing you are a mom, too, based on your screen name. Have you ever thought that the "women" in these videos is someone's daughter? Would you learn to cope with your child eventually participating in one of these? Interestingly and statistically, the vast majority of porn stars, strippers, etc, were sexually abused as children. Also, most abusers are into porn. Sheds a little light on this extremely skewed take on sex.

Answer 10

Well that's like men getting mad at a woman for using sex toys. It's kinda immature.

I'm sure if it were as easy for men to orgasm using a simple toy without visual or audio assistance we wouldn't use porn (as much.)

I'm sorry but you really sound insecure. I'm sure your BF or husband loves you and wouldn't pass up the real thing for porn. But sometimes pleasuring yourself is less of a hassle. I'm sure men and women can agree with that.

-Drew Bryant

Answer 11

every woman is different...it can be lots of fun snuggling on the couch and watching porn with my partner...it doesnt mean he isnt getting enough sex or is a pervert or doesnt love me..its just a different type of fun to be had and even better when you can share it with your partner...have you asked your hubby why he likes watching porn?...maybe the real issue is not that he is watching the porn but that you cant talk to him about it?... good communication is THE most important aspect to having a successful relationship