My husband had an affair. I was 21 yrs old and had an 11 mo old and a 3 yr old. and was totally devastated. He cheated with a lady who was in her late 40's and married her. He picked the kids up on the weekends and I just couldnt get it together for a long time and ended up having sex with multple partners. Now I regret my actions. I ended up with a a std and finally settled down after about 5 or 6 years of total promiscuity. Does everyone go thru this or did I have a mental breakdown of some kind?
2006-10-19 17:58:53 · 9 answers · asked by happydawg 6 in Social Science ➔ Gender Studies
I was drinking heavily and it got so bad that a guy knocked on my door at 3 am when another guy was there.
I live in a fairly quiet area and once in awhile, I run into one of the guys I was being cheap with and it makes me feel strange like they are reminsicing about something I dont remember much about.
2006-10-19 18:18:07 · update #1
Your reaction is most likely very common. It sounds like you've grown from it.
2006-10-19 18:02:01 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
It's common! I did some similar things following my divorce thirteen years ago. I'm 47 now and back to being my respectable non-promiscuous self...but I went through a few years when I had sex with multiple partners. At that time I was also drinking quite a bit You were hurt emotionally by someone who you loved....so you jumped around from person to person, not letting anyone get close enough to hurt you like that again. You might have wanted or needed to feel sexy and "hooking-up" can make you feel sexy sometimes...but in the long run as we both know that isn't true. That was then, this is now...forgive yourself and move forward.
2006-10-20 01:13:12 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 0⤋
I went through the same thing after my divorce many years ago. I was in my 20's and thankfully did not end up with any illness or other lasting effects other than memories of times I would not like to revisit. I did regret it for a while afterwards, but now I know there is nothing I can do about the past except learn from it and not repeat it.
What helped me get out of it was realizing I am responsible for setting a good example for my daughter and that I need to be there for her healthy and able to care for her for a long time. I decided to spend as long as it took focusing on myself and my family without going on any dates. Six months later I happened to meet the man God had saved for me and my family and we are now happily married. I am at peace with my past because it has made me who I am today. Good luck!
2006-10-20 01:11:36 · answer #3 · answered by dbackbarb 4 · 5⤊ 0⤋
I imagine that this is not uncommon. Divorce is a high stress business, and if one is feeling an impaired sense of self-worth, as could easily be the case after having been jilted for another, promiscuity may be a vehicle for reassuring oneself that one is still sexually attractive. That you have now settled down suggests that you are over the worst of it.
2006-10-20 01:19:47 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
in some marriages, when they don't seem to work, there is an intial response of revenge on either of the parteners.so, what you have done is a an instant act of revenge and no need to feel guilty about it. now that you are settled and happy, bury the past and go ahead with your life.All the best!
2006-10-20 01:18:34 · answer #5 · answered by savvy 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Its called cutting off your nose to spite your face.
We all react to rejection and pain differently .
I was a whoremaster in my 20`s and 30`s .It was an ego thing .
We all deal with pain on different levels,some rational and some like us .
You did it ,it is over ,now a lesson learned.
2006-10-20 01:15:12 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
We call it "divorce fever" . Not everyone gets it but alot do. I think its like taking advantage of the freedom while you know you have it.
2006-10-20 02:23:03 · answer #7 · answered by auntynoall 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Just remember these six very useful words:
THAT WAS THEN, THIS IS NOW.
2006-10-20 04:17:43 · answer #8 · answered by backinbowl 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
its ok to u were just angry at men u had every right 2 be
2006-10-20 01:02:42 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋