what would you do if someone was hurting your feelings all the time?

Question

well my mother hurt my feeling every time i go to her house but then the next day she want me to come back i just cannot take it no more she put me down all the time and tell me she hate me when her sugar is high i don;t think she knows what she is doing would you stay away are keep getting your feeling hurt

Answer 1

I think it's time you set some boundaries. People come up with all sorts of excuses for nasty behavior, whether it's alcohol, depression, or (in your mom's case) sugar level. People still need to be accountable for their actions and take steps in order not to act like that again.
Next time your mom starts in, leave. Do not give in to guilt trips. Kindly say goodbye and leave. If she calls to give you more venom, tell her you don't have time for her meanness and hang up.
See her and talk to her only when she is civil to you. The minute the conversation starts to make you feel abused or manipulated, cut the call or the visit short.
Maybe or maybe not, she'll get the message. Either way, you need to protect yourself from abuse.
To protect yourself further, let relatives know what you are doing, so that if your mom calls them and tells them how horrible you are for shutting her out, they will already be a step ahead of her and in the know.

Answer 2

Usually I would say to stay away from negative people, but this is your mom and a mom who is diabetic. You should be careful how you handle this situation, because there is a very good chance of becoming a diabetic yourself someday. I'm a firm believer in what goes around comes around, and there for the grace of God go I. Talk to your mom about your feelings and let her know how she talks to you when her blood sugars are high. She may need to adjust her meds. Your mother may have gotten tired of listening to you crying as a baby in the middle of the night or when she was on the phone. Mom probably needs you more now than ever, suggestion: be there for her as she was for you the day you were conceived.

Answer 3

If you haven't already, lay it out on the table. First, reassure mom of your love and caring. Then, tell what you see happening. If her blood sugar is truly whacked, and is the REAL problem for her, make sure (phone ahead) she's had her protein and is on an even keel before you drop in. If mom's using that for an excuse, if she's really a meanie who needs to put you down in order to feel good herself --or, worse, is cold enough to truly not care about you and your feelings, then emotional distancing may be in order. If she wants the relationship to continue and grow, she'll try to open up to you. Be sensitive, that is, be kind, not threatening, reassure her you're not attacking her but attempting to salve your own wounds.
I have known persons who thought they were losing their minds before they discovered they had a blood sugar problem. It really can be gnarly. You'll know if she's being candid or trying to play you.
Best of luck, I'm hoping the best for you.

Answer 4

Have you tried talking with your mother about the issue and how her actions hurts you? If not yet, i guess that's the first thing you should gather up courage to do before deciding on whether you'll keep away from her or not. Running away from an obvious family problem will not solve it. It will keep reoccuring and will only hunt you for the rest of your life unless you decided to face and solve it with your mom. I know it's not easy to be in your place, i myself, have family issues, but i believe there's no other way to make your life easier but to forgive her...if possible, talk with her about it...if not possible, break her bitter-filled heart with your showing of love and kindness towards her. With your mom's attitude towards you, i can see that she also has an unresolved family issues... you both are innocent victims... and you need each other to be healed... and to be totally whole, you need God!=)

Answer 5

Be strong, there is always going to be people in your life that will hurt you. What doesn't kill you, only makes you stronger.
Don't go around there for awhile, she will realise just how seriously hurt you are and may stop. When she does realise and beg for you to come back home, stay firm & strong and tell her she is pushing you away and one day you may never come home. That will be a wake up call for her.

Answer 6

She doesn't mean what she says. Be strong and just let her be. Your a good daughter if you continue to see her and ignore her insults. In the long run good will come to you for being a great daughter. She loves you and shy may be going through some ruff time with her health. Maybe if you talk to her about it! Good luck!

Remember she is your mother no matter what!

Answer 7

Please do realize that when the sugar level is too high, it really can drive you nuts!
It makes you so ill that you want to scream or beat the heck out of something or somebody.
My best advice is for you to let her know that you're staying away from her till the sugar level is down to normal.

Answer 8

Why are you even going to her house knowning that she is hurting you? If you are going to continue to visit her, then you need to change your behavior pattern.
Every time your mother starts to put you down, you respond immediately, calmly, quietly, and looking into her eyes, "Mom, I love to stay but I got to go now." And you leave immediately. Believe me, your mother will eventually coordinate that every time she puts you down, you are out the door.

Answer 9

Well,toughen up and tell her,that hurts my feelings,you should by now ,developed callauses upon your heart and be able to realize she needs you more than you need her so dont let it get to you,realize that she's loving you the best way she knows how and is probably unaware that shes hurting you feelings

Answer 10

She has an illness, yes? Diabetes? When those people get cranked, it isn't there fault and it isn't true, what they say. Take that to heart, it's the truth. Just ignore the hurtful things and carry on uneffected. She probably doesn't remember them. You could video tape it and show her if she needs motivation to maintain her treatment.