what is a good curfew for a 14 yr old girl?

Question

My daughter is 14 and thinks that she is grown. She thinks that she can stay out until 12/1 o'clock on the weekends. I say 10. she says that I am too hard on her. She is headed for trouble and ther is nothing that I can do. I am ready to send her away. HELP

Answer 1

In my opinion, a 14 year old should be out no later than 8:00 PM on school nights, and 9:00 PM on weekends. There is absolutely NOTHING a 14 year old needs to do out in public (or out anywhere else) after those hours!!!

There IS something you can do about it. Stick to your guns! No matter how difficult she becomes, no matter how much she says she hates you; don't back down. It's a parents' job to teach their children responsibility. It's not our job to be 'their friend'. Further more, make her groundings TRULY count when she gives you trouble. I'm assuming she's in 9th grade. Whenever I failed a class in school, I was grounded for the entire marking period (which was 45 SCHOOL DAYS). I was grounded on the weekends too. That was about 3 months or so. Being grounded meant no friends over, no going out ANYWHERE, no telephone calls incoming or outgoing, and no cable to the television in my room. (I bought my own television when I was 14 with money I saved from my job as a dishwasher). Some might say my Mom was strict, but guess what! Two of my dearest friends both got pregnant in high school (one in tenth grade, one in our senior year). I didn't. Some of my friends did drugs; I didn't. Some drank; I didn't do that until I was 18 years old. I am 30 years old and have had an AWESOME relationship with my Mom for my entire adult life. I seriously used to HATE her! I thought she was ruining my life b/c she wouldn't allow me to do things a lot of my friends could do (like take the public bus to the mall a half hour away). Looking back, THANK GOD she didn't allow me to run around.... I don't think I'd be the person I am today.

I can imagine how hard it is to raise a teenager these days. And I'm sure it will only get worse as time goes on; b/c it seems that more and more, parents are afraid to tell their children 'no'. Don't be like that. Parenting is not a popularity contest. My daughter is only 4 years old now, and I'm sickened by the things I hear about older children today. I know it's hard to not 'follow the trends', but your daughter will truly be better off for it. I wish you the best of luck. I hope things get a bit easier with your daughter as time goes on. My Mom said I was a 'nightmare' between the ages of 14-16 (roughly). She said my attitude was the WORST part. My heart goes out to you.

Answer 2

It al depends on how responsible she is. Hearing that she wants to get home at 1 in the morning is not very responsible.Being that age only a short time ago I know that there is nothing to do that late at night. If she is going over to friends house she should just spend the night. There arent any public places that are open that late and if there are im sure she can just wait until the morning to go. I think 10 or 10:30 would be a good time. On school days make sure she has all her homework done before she goes out. make sure she is home by 8:30 or 9.
If you know there is a parent with her then i think she should be able to stay out a little later.
my mom never really set a time for me to be home but i was always home before 11 on a normal weekend because there was nothing to do.
One good thing to do is get her a cell phone. have the set time and if she is going to be later then that because of a ride being late or something like that then have her call you.

Answer 3

I'm the equal age as your daughter's boyfriend, and I oppose all of the above recommendations. I fully grasp that proms run past due (ours regularly finish approximately 12am) after which there may be the after social gathering. I went to an after social gathering junior yr, however I obtained dwelling round two:20am, and my mother was once already annoyed. Getting dwelling at three and even 4am, is insane, mainly for a 14 yr ancient. I additionally do not see why you are enabling her to sleep at her boyfriend's apartment. I recognize you recognize this, however senior men are customarily after the intercourse. It does not support that she's a freshman on account that her mind-set is unique from that of a senior lady. Anyway, I suppose you will have to set her curfew at 2am, and even two:30 on the ultra-modern. I'm a senior, and my curfew on weekends is 12, so staying until 2am is a privilege, person who I earn by way of telling my mother what I'm doing and being dependable. Just on account that it is promenade does NOT justify letting her keep out all night time doing God is aware of what. I recognize you desire your high-quality on your daughter, however that cannot contain her staying out until the early hours of the morning...

Answer 4

I would say 8pm on the Weekdays and on the weekends I would say 10:30/11 but that is also depepending on grades and if she followed the rules during the weekday. Ex) she come home at 9pm when her curfew is 8 i would knock a half hour off for each half hour she did not come home on time so her weekend curfew, if you made it 11 for her being 1 hour late during the week that one day would be 10.

Answer 5

Do you know who she is running with? Are her grades and attitude good? You can tell when they going off path. Does she help with housework? I would say 9:00 on school nights and 10:30 or 11:00 PM on Fri or Sat.(depends where she is going and what she is doing) IF she's not giving you any trouble. I used to tell my mom I'd be in early.. and stay out until early the next morning!!
I straightened out when I had kids of my own!! Good luck! My son's girlfriend comes over during the week, she is 16 and has to be home by 10:00.

Answer 6

9 during the week, 10 on the weekends. My curfew when i was 14 was 8.30, but that's not all that realistic. But suggest a case by case basis curfew. Like, if she's going to a party, then she has to be home by 9. But if she's going to go see a movie and grab a pizza, she has to be home by whatever time you think is appropriate. And tell her she can call and tell you that she's going to be late, and she can have an extra half hour.

Answer 7

im 15 and my mother does not give me a curfew because she trusts me but i have common sense and i dont do stupid stuff...you should have a open mind and look at it from her point of view...most parties dont start after 12/1 o'clock...but if she is hanging out with her friends...let her stay over longer...just remember when you we her age...all you want to do is hang out....but you should still keep a eye on her and if she starts hanging out with the wrong crowd then take away her priviages...just make sure that she knows that if she does something stupid you can put the curfew at what ever time you desire...so if she has half of a brain she will do the right thing!!!

Answer 8

Mine was 9 PM, I think that was a good curfew. However, if you said 10 then you should stick with 10. Don't worry about being too hard on your daughter, while you may want to be her friend, you are far more useful to her as a mother.

Answer 9

ugh my momw ouldnt even let me out at night when i was 14! lol

12-1 in the morning?! your crazy. it shoudl be like 8!

you are definatley not being to hard on her........
tell her some teens dont even get to go out past dinner time. which i think is that way things should be. she can always just sit in her room and talk to her firnds on the phone, ect ect. dont send her away.

tell her if she isnt home but whatever time you set then take something away liek the phone or soemthing make a deal with her. i learned this in my psycology class about poitive reinforcemnt. so say shes supposed to be home at 10 every night? well say if shes home at 10 every day sunday thru friday. thensaturday night she can stay out till midnight.

thats just an example for you. so just do soemting like that but whatever time you set for her =)
good luck


it would sound liek a good bargain to me if i were her age! lol

Answer 10

well i'm a 14 year old girl. and on the weekdays i can normally stay out til about 9ish. kind of depends.usually i have a sports practice/game so my parents are leanient about that. on the weekends, this depends too. my parents know my friends are all good kids. so normally i can stay out til like 12-1:30ish. at the lastest. but its not every weekend/weeknight that i'm out that late. so don't let her be out that late all the time, like once in a while. and for the rest of the time, i'd say by 11-11:30.