2006-10-19 17:17:37 · 10 answers · asked by super girl 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
the abuseive relationship was a shock. Getting out of it was confusing and disorienting. You got used to being free. And now love is fearful because it could bring new pain, so you don't trust your feelings and wonder what is going to happen.
So it's natural to hurt when falling in love again after a roller coaster like that.
2006-10-19 17:20:16 · answer #1 · answered by urbancoyote 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It's scary getting into a new relationship when someone previously hurt you so bad. It's hard not to carry baggage around when you've been abused. You need to take your time and make sure the new guy is trust worthy and gives you your time to heal. He needs to understand that you are fragile right now. You deserve to be treated like a human being, not a punching bag. The wounds will heal but there will always be scars. Don't allow those scars to keep you from the happiness and peace you deserve. Good luck, Honey.
2006-10-19 17:28:51 · answer #2 · answered by leigh 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
because you're afraid of being hurt again. You're scared that if you open up, you're leaving yourself vulnerable for abuse and rejection again, as if love is a magnet for abuse. It isn't though. Just take your time, don't rush into anything. If he truely likes you, he'll respect you. I've been there before, spiralling into a terribly deep depression. When that relationship was over, I made a promise to myself, not to say "I love you" first, and not to be intimate again until I was in love. Two boyfriends later, I didn't have sex with either and they bailed on me. Until I met my husband. He never pressured me into anything I didn't want to do, and he said he loved me 2 weeks after we started dating, and we didn't get intimate until about 3 months into the relationship. GOOD LUCK and BE SAFE!!!!
;)
2006-10-19 17:28:50 · answer #3 · answered by afafae25 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's because you're afraid to trust that the new love won't treat you the same way.
Broken trust = a broken heart/hurt... fear causes hurt/damage.
Falling in love again reminds you of the love you had for the other person & of the hurt you went thru.
2006-10-19 17:24:29 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
From my perspective, I will never trust anyone again, so although I have not been in love since an abusive relationship, I cannot imagine ever being in love. I will never trust anyone not to be abusive again. Everyone will be guilty until proven innocent....
2006-10-19 17:20:25 · answer #5 · answered by EB 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It is just a matter of trust. When someone wonderful turns out to be a monster it is shocking... but you think it is your fault because he said so. It wasn't but he convinces you it was. It is much like the insidious disease of cancer...it creeps up and metastasizes and you have no where to run, you are trapped or think your are. When you finally get out you never want to go back in...a matter of trust and you don't ever trust again because it is too awful to thing about. Make sense?
2006-10-20 17:37:47 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The reason is that your brain thinks that the abuse is normal. You need to be in a more healthy relationship to retrain your brain to know what normal really is.
2006-10-19 17:19:28 · answer #7 · answered by dante_cubit_3000 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
it shouldnt hurt if u love the person
2006-10-19 17:26:49 · answer #8 · answered by sandy k 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
dddddddddduuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
2006-10-19 17:18:24 · answer #9 · answered by ♫♪♥PUSSaY FART♫♪♥ 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
DUDEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
2006-10-19 17:20:20 · answer #10 · answered by Love Exists? 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋