My husband has a girl he's been talking to, she's supposedly his cousin. I've never met her in the 6 years my husband and I have been together, never even talked to the girl for that matter, she never comes to family functions, and I've never heard of any other family members talking about her. Well, she and my husband have been talking a lot lately. She's been calling him telling him how bad her marriage is and how her husband mistreats her and their child. I absolutely hate to jump to conclusions, but she never calls the house- they always talk to each other on his cell phone, and their conversations are always held when I'm not around (he always tells me about their conversations- they usually talk while he's at work or in his vehicle). I'm finding it hard not to be suspicious..... and finding it hard to have sympathy for her (if her situation is that bad...why is she just calling my husband acting like he's the only one who can help her?? Why not just leave??)
2006-10-19 17:17:10 · 17 answers · asked by JustMyOpinion 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
My husband cheated on me before we got married. The last time I remember hearing about this woman is around the time he cheated on me (I know who he cheated on me w/ and it wasn't her...at least I don't think he cheated on me w/ her, too). There are some of the same signs popping up that were there the last time he cheated...I can't help but be suspicious. There are so many times I think of how dumb I was to give him a second chance. Any advice on how to handle this? I don't want to just jump to conclusions...but I don't want to leave myself open to God knows what (STDs if he's cheating). Serious, mature answers only please.
2006-10-19 17:20:26 · update #1
Forgot to mention....the first time he said anything about her "bad situation", I offered to let her and her child come and stay in our guest room. (Regret that now) He turned me down. And every time he talks about her she's always described as "My cousin _____" (didn't want to mention her name on here). It just seems like he's trying to reassure me she's "just his cousin". I'm just confused about the whole situation.
2006-10-19 17:36:11 · update #2
Sorry....just trying to give all the details so you all can give me your best advice. This chick's husband keeps calling my husband harrassing him (my hubby's been complaining about getting a lot of hang-up calls from him)....I'm thinking her husband's either crazy or knows something I don't.
2006-10-19 17:46:48 · update #3
Thanks for all the answers so far... I hate posting a personal question like this on here, but my family and friends had a hard time accepting my forgiving him (which, like I said, sometimes I wonder if it was stupid of me). I just can't get over that punched-in-the-stomach feeling from last time I found out he had been unfaithful. Thanks for the answers.
2006-10-19 17:52:39 · update #4
well for starters ask how shes related and to who then ask his family about her. if they say anything just tell hi you were just trying to help her and her kids out of a bad situation. is it wrong for you to be his loving wife and care about his family as much as he apparently does?
2006-10-19 17:29:38 · answer #1 · answered by evilella 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You have every right to be suspicious. Your first step is to confirm your suspicion. Odd timing of phone calls, and wanting to be alone and not have anyone listening when he is on the phone is a HUGE red flag. You say he has cheated on you once before? Personally I don't know how you ever established your trust in him again after the FIRST time. and Sad to say.. typically once a cheater.. always a cheater.. So Ask his family members and explain to them whats going on and if nobody knows who that girl is. BINGO. and BTW, if they have been talking on the phone for years.... im SURE they have been having sex... dont bust out and accuse him of anything just yet though, talk to the family and find out for sure. Good luck!
2006-10-20 00:34:31 · answer #2 · answered by sf4fun 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
so u think ur husband is refering 2 cousin but in actual is hving some thing going on wit tis woman . y not u check his cell n record all dat phone nos. n then check it out . u can take note of the time when tis cousin call . i am sure u will come up with some answers rather than now u just keep guessing . good luck .
2006-10-20 01:03:29 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry, his story sounds like BS. But not as bad as some I've heard.
I do feel that once a cheater, always a cheater though. If you hadn't said he cheated in the past, there might be a reason for this where he wasn't cheating. But since he has, he most likely is again.
2006-10-20 00:22:39 · answer #4 · answered by WJ 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Trust your instincts and start gathering proof. Talk to his family members and ask them about this so called "cousin" of his. Personally, it sounds very suspicious and u have more reason to feel this way as he has cheated on u in the past. Find out who she really is.
If u feel strongly that something isn't right, chances are something isn't.
2006-10-20 00:32:03 · answer #5 · answered by cheetah7 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Do you have reason to suspect that your husband is lying to you? If not, bury your suspicions and your concerns. Maybe your husband IS the only one she feels comfortable to talk with. Unless you have real reasons to suspect something, it's most likely in your imagination. Talk to your husband. Tell him you need reassurance. Be honest and do not point fingers. Try to stay positive. After all, he doesn't have to tell you anything about these phone calls, but he does. It doesn't sound like a man trying to hide anything.
2006-10-20 00:25:31 · answer #6 · answered by dante_cubit_3000 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well yu can either trust your hubby, or get ahold of his cell phone records, call the numbers that you find suspicious, talk to her or her hubby. i find it hard to believe that this "cousin" never shows up at family stuff, or his family nevers talks about her. do some digging. you have a rite to know whats going on...invite her and her hubby over for dinner if you have too. i would want to talk to her hubby anyways.....
2006-10-20 02:26:48 · answer #7 · answered by hamhead 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
have you asked anyone else in the family about her to see if it is on the up and up? I think I would casually bring it up around one you are closest to. It does sound a little suspicious.
2006-10-20 00:20:55 · answer #8 · answered by ladynamedjane 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
cheating men never tells the truth so that means it would be useless if you will ask him....
what you can do though is ask his closest relative about this girl, if you are still unsure better yet get the number of the girl and call her and probably ask her how she is related to your hubby....if her answer sounds fishy then she is lying....
2006-10-20 00:46:55 · answer #9 · answered by untamed_heart 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Honey...pull the sweater down from your eyes...either confront him and ask to meet her, ask family members about her...or go with your gut...if he's not talking to her in front of you he's twisting the scenarios...once a cheater always a cheater
2006-10-20 00:43:37 · answer #10 · answered by myfairlady46 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋