He wants me to stop talking to all my male friends (most of them are ex's). He especially wants me to stop talking to my most recent ex(whom I was also engaged). I feel nothing for them and I'm sure about that. He says he believe and trust me but it is them he do not trust. What do you think??
2006-10-19 17:14:16 · 18 answers · asked by sincere vol 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He wants me to stop talking to all my male friends (most of them are ex's). He especially wants me to stop talking to my most recent ex(whom I was also engaged). I feel nothing for them and I'm sure about that. He says he believe and trust me but it is them he do not trust. He still talk to his ex and I never asked him to stop talking to her. What do you think??
2006-10-19 17:23:18 · update #1
Your boyfriend should understand the difference between friendship and love relationship. He should know that as a love relationship ends, most of the time, friendship begins. And there's really nothng wrong with that.
Do as you please concerning your friendship with those men for as long as you know that you don't have romantic feelings for them. Explain to your boyfriend that in a love relationship, the two persons in love should not curtail the freedom of his partner to have other friends and do other things that are needed for self growth and development. Trust alone is the most imprtant factor in keeping a relationship for without it, arguments will be the two lovers' company most of the time.
Ask him to trust you and give him the assurance that it is him you love and that your befriending them has no romantic essence in you. All the best.
2006-10-19 17:23:53 · answer #1 · answered by Ruzzo 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well first off i would like to congraulate you on your accomplishment.I hope the two of you have a wonder ful life together.
Secondly,I am also glad that you can remain friends wih you ex's.hats a thing most people cannot do.I understand that you don't have any feelings for them. But they might have feelings for you.Your fiance might sense that about them and that could be his reason for not wanting you to talk to them at all.
I'm sure he does trust you.And I'm sure your ex's would not want too come between you and your happiness. but you must also understand that even though we make boundries...those boundries can be crossed even when we try too make sure they are planly stated.
I suggest you sit down and speak with your fiance about whats going on.
Then you guys might have a better insight on what too do.
-Ariel-
2006-10-19 17:22:23 · answer #2 · answered by Ariel 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like he is insecure and needs to have those feelings validated by having you stop talking to exes. You should drop the exes for your fiance and find some gal pals to talk to. Even if you don't have feelings for the other guys, put the shoe on the other foot. It wouldn't feel so good.
2006-10-19 17:19:41 · answer #3 · answered by leigh 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He may be thinking that an old flame could be rekindled. If he wants you to stop talking to your ex's, than he should have do something that you want to do- it is called compromise. Plus, if you two got into a fight for some reason or another and one of these friends that are also one of your old flames is your shoulder to cry on, you could be playing with emotional fire as they may try to take advantage of the situation.
2006-10-19 17:26:22 · answer #4 · answered by Big Daddy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He should have issues with you having constant contact with your ex's.
Maybe you are the 1 in ten thousand who can completely cut off romantic feelings all the time, and would never feel tempted to cheat on him.
But the odds are low enough that no sane guy would bank on it. Ex's are best left in the past.
However, not wanting you to talk with the ones you were not romantically involved with is dumb. A guy should have more self confidence than that...
2006-10-19 17:18:48 · answer #5 · answered by Akfek_Branford 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Many people will feel comfortable with their significant other having a lot to do with their exes. It is because that a time before, you shared a special intimacy with that ex, and even if you do not feel it now it still crosses some boundary to have that person be a presence in your life. That boundary is something many people are not comfortable with. Try putting yourself in his place and see if you would like it if he hung out with his ex's.
2006-10-19 17:18:15 · answer #6 · answered by jen 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I understand him, since most are ex- I would say he has a problem, if he wants you to not have any male friends, but if it is just ex boyfriends, I can see where this would not make him comfortable.
2006-10-19 17:17:40 · answer #7 · answered by RY 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Then your not truly in love with your fiance. Why would you even bother talking to an ex. Unless you still have feelings for them. You need to get your priorities straight and realize who is more important.
2006-10-19 17:19:50 · answer #8 · answered by Humming Bird 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree. That spells trouble. Old flames can be easily re-ignited after you have a big argument and you need a shoulder to cry on. Most men won't kick you out of bed. Do this for him and expect the same of him.
2006-10-19 17:17:43 · answer #9 · answered by 30 something 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you should stop . Would it be fair if he talked to his ex's . I dont either of you should be talking to your ex's . It sounds like your undecided on who you wanna be with. To behonest it sounds like you like your ex's still. If you have to talk to your ex's you shouldnt be with the guy your with now , or maybe your not ready for commitment. I could be wrong .
2006-10-19 17:18:54 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋