My boyfriend and I was going to get married next year.. well he said that we should wait a year to get married b/c he is tired of the fighting between us. How-ever it is the same old thing every day we never spend time with each other.. so I get frustrated and ask him when are we going to spend time with each other? He gets upset and tells me I don't have nor money. I have even said we could do somthing around the house but he a loways finds some thing better to do. So he thinks we should wait another year. Do you think that if we can't resovle our problem now we probably couldn't resovle it later on? Does waiting to get married sound.. better then going ahead?
2006-10-19 16:46:00 · 18 answers · asked by Sarah 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Try some counseling...jus becuz there were problems doesnt mean the love is not there. You need to find mutual ground but as u said if you cant work on them now u wont be able to later and i think u are right....postponing the marriage is not going to fix anything unless u work on the problem. But I think personally, if a man does not want to spend a lot of time with u........its a bad sign............when a man is truley in love that is not something he needs to be reminded of.........unless u want to much...........search the issues if you both cant figure things out u may not even be mature enough to get married yet.........you or either him.
2006-10-19 16:53:11 · answer #1 · answered by exceptionallyexceptional 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, waiting sounds better than going ahead, because it's a problem that needs to be resolved now, before marriage, because it can get a lot worse... & it could cause the marriage to end in divorce.
If he doesn't care about you enough to give you what you need now (quality time together & his undivided attention)... & if it's not resloved now... then it's not likely going to be any better for you in the future.
Him saying that he doesn't have the money to do anything with you is a cop-out (an excuse) he's using, to get out of doing what he doesn't want to do.
2006-10-20 00:03:17 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should definitely not get married right now. But it really sounds like the marriage wont happen at all. I cant imagine the fighting that will go on if you get married. It doesnt sound like hes really into this relationship and is just pushing the wedding back just to not tell you the truth.
2006-10-19 23:59:46 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Like Dr. Phil would say, "kick him to the curb." Why would you even consider marrying someone that doesn't want to spend time with you? What do you think would happen if you got married? If you don't hardly see him now it sure won't get better with marriage. While your waiting that extra year start looking around for something better. Because with him it sounds as bad as it can get. Please think more of yourself then settling for someone that doesn't sound interested.
2006-10-19 23:56:42 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, I believe that you should postpone your marriage just to test if your relationship will work . I think it"s a better idea resolving your emotional conflict before the knots tie. There's no point in getting married when you two will be at war with each other on a regular basis, do you think so?
2006-10-20 00:03:16 · answer #5 · answered by dtmc542006 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hon, if you are having problems like this now, they are only going to get worse if you get married. Marriage does solve problems like the ones you are describing, it can make it worse. Don't trap yourself into a committment that you can't get out of. Sounds to me like you and your BF need some time separated from eachother to put things into perspective. Good luck.
2006-10-20 00:02:22 · answer #6 · answered by sweets 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This thought really helped me ( I left mind you ) to really evaluate your relationship. Only marry them if you can consider the thought of sitting next to them on a Greyhound bus for at least 3 days and you both survive. It really put it in perspective for me that as much as I wanted it to work it just wasn't going to happen and at least us splitting now wouldn't be lawyers and kids issues later. Good Luck
2006-10-19 23:51:35 · answer #7 · answered by fyrechick 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is not ready for marriage he keeps finding excuses and money problems never help so i would say to him i am not going to wait much longer so if you are unsure let me know now so i can move on sureilll
2006-10-19 23:57:23 · answer #8 · answered by COOKIE 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he's just not that into you.
If one year isn't going to do it, why would two?
Time to put on your big girl shoes and head on out the door.
3.2 billion men in the world.
2006-10-20 00:12:54 · answer #9 · answered by zdrgnslyr 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get over him and move on. If you get married to this one, you will be divorced in a year. There are better fish in the sea.
2006-10-19 23:48:32 · answer #10 · answered by venusiaint 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋