I am seriously considering leaving my husband, but I know he will not leave our home, so I would have to leave until the we can legally split up 27 years worth of household and personal belongings. I have many items that mean a great deal to me that were handed down from my side of the family. If I leave, it would have to be with only my clothes initially. I am very concerned that my things will be destroyed as he has a very violent temper. He has never beat me, but I have witnessed him demolishing many things during fits of anger. So what can I do to protect my belongings until they are legally split up, and what recourse do I have for things he does decide to destroy? I am sure that he will have the attitude that if I leave, it is all his.
2006-10-19 16:36:01 · 17 answers · asked by catywhumpass 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
The man must work - get your friends together, get a truck, a storage area, and grab all the things you really care about. That should give you about 7 hours. Document all the stuff you take and why, then send him a list so that he can send it to his lawyer. It will make you look good, and its all going to be assessed by a judge during the divorce proceedings anyway.
It would be best if you were to start the divorce petition before you do this and just leave it behind when you leave. This may sound cold, but it will show that you are serious and it will avoid a lot of hassles later.
I speak from experience. One the tempers cool down, you will thank yourself, but it may get very ugly though the middle.
2006-10-19 16:52:38 · answer #1 · answered by zdrgnslyr 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you aren't in the house and he is, legally it is all his. If he wants to destroy it, you really can't do anything about it. even if you are still there and he destroys it you cannot do anything about it, because it is mutual property in a marriage, and if you want to destroy your belongings, you can. Technically, they belong to both of you now, but if you leave the house, they belong to him. You're best bet would be to get a U-Haul and a couple of friends and load all the stuff you care about into it and put it in a storage unit. You can get one for a reasonable price. The money spent would be well worth the memorabilia saved, at least in my opinion. Good luck.
2006-10-19 23:42:00 · answer #2 · answered by L.J. 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to a lawyer before you split. It will be worth every penny. He may tell you to arrange to hire a mover and get your possessions out while your husband is at work and then leave yourself. Don't let him know your new address and put a strong lock on the door. A restraining order might be a good idea, too.
2006-10-19 23:42:25 · answer #3 · answered by notyou311 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No question if you leave him you need to get all that stuff out to a safe spot somewhere before you leave. Its a really immature way of dealing with things so its no wonder you need to leave the shell of a human being. Good luck.
2006-10-20 00:03:50 · answer #4 · answered by Johnny 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you can take all of what you want with you just wait intill he is at work or out of town an move all of the stuff you think he mite damage or just go an get a court order to stop him from doing that an if he bracks it after the court oder then he will have to pay for it but if you dont get that he can brake anything he wants see if you leave then every thing is his
2006-10-19 23:53:51 · answer #5 · answered by tavance1967 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sweetie, the most important thing is to get yourself out safely. As far as any household items.......they would be considered community property which means he has as much right to them as you do. I would, however, get the advice of an attorney.
2006-10-19 23:40:55 · answer #6 · answered by classy&sassy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well,Im no expert but I do know someone who took one box a day of her own personal stuff to her parents/friends house, 10 days it went unnoticed! So, the really important things you really want ,take them now,and the bigger items take photos. Stay Strong AND Safe.
2006-10-19 23:40:55 · answer #7 · answered by Punky 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My first impulse is to beg you to try and save 27 years of an invested marriage, but that is of course your decision.
Otherwise, walk through your house with a video camera showing the current state of items....show a newspaper with the date on it to validate the date of the tape....speak as you walk to describe the items.
2006-10-19 23:40:35 · answer #8 · answered by Robert 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
THATS WHY YOU GET A PRENUP BEFORE MARRIAGE BUT TOO LATE FOR THAT I SUGGEST THAT YOU GET A UHAUL AND RENT A PLACE TO KEEP YOUR STUFF AT LEAST TO KEEP IT SAFE! ONCE THE DIVORCE IS FINAL THEN YOU CAN HAVE YOUR THINGS BACK!!!
2006-10-20 00:11:16 · answer #9 · answered by woodtigerdp 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its community property. He has the right to break his own furniture.
The judge wont care!
2006-10-19 23:38:47 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋