I have this friend who is married to a no good dog. He is in and out of jail, he lies to her, steals from her,, won't work and worst of all while she is at work he brings his pregnant mistress to her house. Some other friends and I thought the best thing to do was stay out of it and maybe she will learn for herself but this has been going on for a year and a half now and I don't see it getting any better. She feels that just because they have kids together that she should try and make the marriage work but how much is too much. They have a son together.I don't know what else this dog needs to do to make her realize that she needs to leave him. She is a good hearted person that will do anything to keep her family together and she really don't deserve this. I want to say something but my friends know that I will not sugar coat it and they are telling me not to. So I want to hear from wives with kids on this one
2006-10-19 16:01:26 · 12 answers · asked by Curious One 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
Her kids are witnessing everything. They are home with daddy when mommy is at work. Her young daughter always tells her that the mistress is over to the house and that daddy is kissing her. Her son talks back to her and is starting to learn curse words.
2006-10-19 16:04:23 · update #1
This is about her, not him.
She is must have no self esteem, but let's put that aside for a minute. Does she realize that she is raising a future man?
A child thinks the BEST thing he can be is his parent. Does she want him to live the same life his father does?
Why does she want so little for this child? Is it because she wants so little for herself?
You should tell her without mincing words.
2006-10-19 16:06:05 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your friend needs to hear this from a thousand people, as thats what it will probably take to get her mind right. I am amazed at how many women will stand by , knowing all that is going on and stick it out, in order to preserve the family. This is a bad situation, and if she wont see it for herself, maybe at least you could convince her of the damage this is doing to her children. Don't sugar coat it.
2006-10-19 16:08:32 · answer #2 · answered by Coco 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm not a wife nor do I have children but I think it is very important to remind her that this is not only an unhealthy relationship for her but also for her son! I have been around many situations where there is an unhealthy relationship and the excuse women give for staying in it is children. Do you really want a child to be raised around that? Does she want her son to think that it is okay to cheat on his wife etc. I would definitely try to bring that up to her attention if you haven't already
2006-10-19 16:07:07 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have a friend who is in a similar situation. I have told her many times and she has even left him a few times. She always goes back because they have a son together. I guess some people just never learn. I'm sure she knows what is going on but just doesn't want to admit it.
2006-10-19 16:03:53 · answer #4 · answered by Jen G 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Good luck - that'd drive me mad too.
Maybe you could use this technique I read about how someone could impress upon their aunt that she needed to keep her legs together when she sat in a chair (ew, beaver). The auntie never seemed to take it to heart when family members would tell her that it didn't look real nice... They took a few photographs and gave them to the aunt. End of problem (rather visual!!!).
Maybe it was for people like your friend, tho' about which this old proverb was coined: "you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink it".
2006-10-19 17:56:38 · answer #5 · answered by Zeera 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you're any kind of good friend then I would say something. Do you, however, think she is totally oblivious to all this? Ask her why she is staying. It is her life not yours. People make choices and you can't fix it for them. If she is being abused however, then that is a different story.
2006-10-19 16:08:01 · answer #6 · answered by To Be 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm not a wife - heck, I'm not even a woman...
But I think you need a group intervention with her. Just one. Let her know what ya'll have been seeing. She will probably resist, but you let her know that you're all there for her.
Outside of that, you've said your peace and all you can do is let her learn her lesson.
2006-10-19 16:03:55 · answer #7 · answered by EJ 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
your her friend right ??? so you need to have a sit down with her and spill the beans to her tell her thats its hurting the kids more staying wiht him than what it would be if she left him if this dont work then she will leave when she gets tired of it
2006-10-19 16:05:40 · answer #8 · answered by ladyluck356 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Do you care about your own well-being?
Realize that you're asking her to tell him what you said, and that he will come after you with gun, knife, and baseball bat for interfering with his meal ticket.
You can suggest counseling, refer her to her minister, get school guidance people involved, ANYTHING except put yourself directly between man and wife.
Good luck!
2006-10-19 16:05:01 · answer #9 · answered by nora22000 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'd express my opinion clearly. Or she is going to figure it out when this "man" of hers brings her home a taste of herpes or something.
2006-10-19 16:03:36 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋