what do you do when your parents dont approve of your man?

Question

I've been with my b/f for 8 months and my parents think he has no ambition and is totally wrong for me. They wont even give him a chance. I've grown up respecting their opinion but this time they are wrong. What do you say when they dis him for having no education but neither do they? Plus they keep pushing me to fix things with my ex, who they consider a son. My b/f actually saw a pic of my ex in my folks house and when I asked them to take it down they said no. I dont want to let anyone down but this sucks!!

Answer 1

First off let me ask, how old are you? Because the answer depends a little on how independent you can get from your family. If you are old enough, can pay for everything you need in your life right now, I say move out of your parents house. I say this so that you can be with your bf without having to deal with your parents and that picture of your ex displayed around. You will not be able to please everybody so you have to choose whom you'll please - parents or bf? But be ready to face the consequences of your future actions so think about it thrice before doing anything. You have to know that ONLY YOU control your life even though listening to advices is okay, ultimately in the end, it will be your decision to make and yours ALONE.

If you're already not living at your parents house, then next time you can set up dinner or something with your folks OUTSIDE like on a restaurant or at your place, where there is no memory of your ex for your parents to reminisce with. Next time your parents confronts you, tell them you know they are just concerned and they want you to have the best but it's your decision to make. Thank them for the advice but you'll stick it out with your man. If it doesn't work out, then you won't blame anybody (especially them), that's how life goes. If it does work out, then great! Education is not a basis of how a person can handle a relationship and responsibility, although it sometimes matters to have to get better work and income when you have a family of your own to support or planning to have one.

I am also curious as to why they consider your ex a SON. Why did you break up with your ex, anyway? Good or Bad reason? Do your parents know why you broke up with him? They should know that you are their daughter, own flesh and blood. The person they should be supporting is YOU (unless you cheated on your ex, which I highly doubt you did).

Answer 2

I can't think of a real good answerer, I was in your same spot 25 years ago. I always knew what I was talking about and they were always wrong. I liked this one boy and my parents did not, because of the way he dressed and he had no job at the time, but I really liked him, thought I loved him, he was the funniest guy and he always made me feel good about my self. It wasn't until many years later I saw what my parents saw because now I have kids 18 and 20, it's a parents intuition they just seem to know something that you might not see. I'm not saying your parents are right but I bet if you looked a little harder and had patients with your parents, you can solve it with time, I hope you do the right thing.

Answer 3

Your parents experience outweighs their education level. Maybe they want a better life for you than they were able to provide with there education.
Talk to me again when he cuts you off from your friends and then starts hitting you.
If your still in school and he has dropped out
he's not the right age for you. If he is not working and going to night school he has no ambitions nor is he planning to provide for a family. Love just doesn't do it.
For what ever reason your ex is your ex that's your business not theirs.
Watch this guy closely for signs of possession
or abuse. Eight months isn't quite enough time for true colors to show up. Once he thinks he has a wedge between you and your parents you are in for trouble.

Answer 4

Maybe you could come to terms with them and just tell them ,Mom and Dad I have heard everything you have said about so and so, and I want you to know that I appreciate your advice and concern. My ex and I broke up for a good reason......My current boy-friend and I are just that ., Boyfriend/ and girlfriend....Please respect me and allow me to make my own decisions from now on.........I won't be talking about him for awhile because you do not approve......Maybe later we can sit down and have a nice conversation about me and him......It hurts me to hear you put him down....Mom I hope your parents didn't do
that to you over Dad...If they did, then you know how I feel......
Please respect me and my asking this of you right now....I would hate to not be able to come around because of this disagreement. . Let's work together...Give it some time...Thanks

Answer 5

If your still living under your parents roof they have the right to not approve. Its their house. They can do whatever they want. If your of age move out and don't visit your parents anymore. Simple as that. And if they want you to visit tell them only if the picture comes down and they except your new boyfriend.
Lots of luck.

Answer 6

Take their objections into account. My family didn't like my boyfriend, and I ignored them.

I figured out what was wrong with him, but that was after we were married and I was pregnant. To make a long story short, we were married ten miserable years before I got out of it.

They could be wrong, but then again, they could be right.

Answer 7

hunny, i have dealt , my parents did not like my now, husband & father of my children. But thats not their choice, I ended up getting married without either of my parents there because of the anger they had towards him. It comes from them wanting to protect us, and wanting us to have the best. But, they dont relize, they we make the choice, not them, and sometimes, like me, I dont want the best, I want someone, whom I love, and care about. And in return, someone whom loves me, and cares for me. My parents now, 5 yrs later are coming to relize he isnt half as bad as they thought, and heck, even my mother in law and my mother hang out, and shop together, like on a weekly basis. In time they will come to senses, and if not, dont let them ruin what may be the perfect man for you. good luck.

Answer 8

My moms and dads were a similar correct way at the same time as i replaced into growing to be up. My mom suggested it wasn't 'solid' for the child if it replaced into born 0.5 black and she might want to continually contact upon the way they lived/talked/acted. I somewhat have a fragile daughter and at the same time as she's the right age up to now ( shall we are saying 35! lol ) i want her up to now whoever she pleases see you later as they take care of her accurate and tutor her and us ( the moms and dads ) the up maximum appreciate. i comprehend that typically i imagine racist by using way i replaced into raised and the failings I continually heard. Like at the same time as i'm using, if someone cuts me off and it occurs to be a black man or woman I quickly imagine......N*GGER....and that i think terrible, i comprehend it replaced into the way i replaced into raised, i do not opt to attempt this to my daughter.

Answer 9

Truly ask them WHY!
They must be good, solid reasons!
Ignore the stupid ones.

Your choice. Your problem.
(As long as you've got the full story on him, it's all your fault!)

But keep in mind, parents are old, rotting, getting more stupid and stupid, hypocritical, a stress and never happy.

Answer 10

If you are no longer a child you need to live by your own rules whether your parents like it or not. You are never going to please everyone so you must learn to please yourself. Happiness means being true to yourself and to follow wherever your heart leads even if you have to put some distance between yourself and your parents for awhile. They will never respect you as an adult until you "command" it.