Do you confide everything with your spouse?

Question

I've been told that in order to maintain a long, healthy, loving relationship with your hubby, secrets must be kept. It is not good to share everything.

What are your thoughts?

Answer 1

If you are talking about past boyfriends, the less said the better. If you are talking about things you kids have said to you in confidence, you are usually better keeping them to yourself or the kids will never tell you anything again. The same applies to friends and family members. If you are talking about a little extra money on the side, none of his business. There are a lot of things to tell hubby, but some things are better left unsaid.

Answer 2

When there is emotional safety in a relationship, you can confide all things. Emotional safety means that each person is able to share their thoughts, feelings, and opinions without fear of rejection, criticism, or judgement. If your marriage isn't emotionally safe, you are afraid to tell each other things. This could be one-sided in a marriage. One spouse can feel like they can say anything, while the other keeps things inside for whatever reason. I know a lot of marriages like this. Unfortunately, couples don't get help to figure out this problem. We need to be more aware of what we need in a marriage before we make that commitment. Also, I think that marriage education should become more of the norm. We aren't born with the skills needed to make a relationship work. If our parents didn't model for us a healthy love relationship, we need to be taught these skills.

Answer 3

I am a very open and honest person. My fiance' knows everything there is to know about me and he says that at first he didn't really even like me all that much, but the more he learned the more he feel in love. I think it depends on the relationship, in this one I can disclose even my darkest secrets, but I've been in others where my honestly has made me wish I'd shut my mouth.

Answer 4

I try to share everything and it makes me feel great to do so. But, every girl needs to keep a few secrets too! And to tell the truth there is a couple things that are so painful, I'm just not ready to discuss them with anyone yet.

Answer 5

It is great to have a spouse and when you both became one that was it. You can have a great relationship together by sharing and trusting one another. But one thing dont always let your left hand know what your right hand is doing all the time. But love one another and share things together, but not everything.

Answer 6

I tell everything to my wife unless I think she wouldn't understand or couldn't handle it. For example, if I get into a violent skirmish out in the streets, I may come home and not want to talk about it. Or if I know she's jealous, I will not complement Angelina Jolie's looks in front of her. See what I'm sayin?

Answer 7

Not everything is considered a 'secret'. Some things unsaid have no particular use or benefit by being a secret or by being shared.

Answer 8

well, what to me what is a secret. a secret worth holding is a secret worth being told because the only secrets not told is the ones that don't exist. anything you do will be revealed one way or another.

Answer 9

i think to have a trusting honest relationship then you should not keep anything major from your husband/ Little minor things such as weight. clothing size etc.... aren't major, but lets see..... If you have a problem you should talk about it, If he asks you a question about sex, boys, bills, credit, debt, stuff like that, then you should tell him what you know truthfully

Answer 10

there needs to be a bit of mystery, don't share everything, obviosly the major things yes, but the little things no, it can be discovered at a later date or never