confused, serious answers only please?

Question

ive been married for almost eight years. i have children and for the most part im content. my husband is a loving and caring person. and though we've had our ups and downs he's always supported me the best he could. we separated f two years ago and got back together last year. i have a secret that eats at me everyday but i try to keep it out of my head as much as possible. i am attracted to women and during our separation i acted on some of my feelings but i withdrew from any physical contact because of fear. when i was eighteen i actually had a relationship with a female and i thought it was just a phase. but my urge for female companionship is getting harder to ignore. i feel horrible for my family. i dont know what to do but i dont want to hurt my husband or my kids.

Answer 1

U need a REAL friend, or a close relative to confide in right now, not us, thats my advice.
Most of the people that will answer your question are not or have never been married, nor have kids, ya know what I mean.
If U can see - dont follow a blind person.

Answer 2

First you need to talk with ur husband! Depending on whether he doesnt care or does you still have to adress the children. This is a big deal and may cause heartache for the family for awhile but thats ok. Do what u have to to stay sane. If the children withdraw from you except it. If it seems like no one understands someone out there in the world does. there is no such things as a fairytale life. Everything is goning to go right all the time. Life is to short to sit around worrying urself and being unhappy. If you want some female loving then get u some. It might not be right in everybody else's lives but you have to be happy. if ur not getting the support you need then find some somewhere else. Everybody deserves to be happy. Ur husband should support you and encourage you. if yall break up beacuse of this issue thats ok too. Dont abandoned ur immediate family but also dont sit arund and let them discourage you. there are far worse situations out there. remember u dont have to go through this alone.

Answer 3

It's not good to have secrets that eat away at you. You need to
have someone to talk to who will listen, not judge you and your
feelings and support your decisions, including your decision
to keep your family together. Only you can decide what would
be the best thing for you to do. You only get one life and you
have to live it the way you want to...but live it in a way that
is not hurtful to yourself or others. Although it may initially hurt your husband to leave him and change your lifestyle to accomodate your sexual needs it may not be simply a sexual thing for you.
It may truly be what will make you happy. On the other hand,
if it is simply a sexual thing in which your sexual desires are
getting in the way of having a loving and trusting marriage
then this would be so hurtful to all parties involved to follow
through with such urges. Although there is much hype about
having a threesome....it would more than likely only cause
more problems for you and your marriage. Do what is truly
best for yourself and your family. Best Wishes

Answer 4

Havin not been married or have any kids i may not be of any help at all but im wondering why ur husband doesnt know u have feelings for or are attracted to women especially as he has known you for so long. Im tryin to be serious here but he may enjoy it if he was spoken to about it and could be involved.....? He may get extremly turned on by the idea. And im also surprised this sort of conversation has not arisen. Maybe its just in the minds of the blokes i hang around with! Its obv up to u. u no yourself and your husband way more than i do. As long as you and your kids are happy and safe then thats all that matters in life isnt it.

Answer 5

Express your feelings and fears to your husband, sharing your thoughts and stating them out loud often gives you a different perspective on things. Don't share details, unnecessary and will not resolve anything. Female companionship is not a bad or evil thing for you to have, but acting on it inappropriately would be aldultery and hurtful to your family. Often times married people have thoughts, urges, ideas etc. Find yourself some support and appropriate female companionship. Impulse control is maturity.

Answer 6

I am glad that you found the courage to be forthcoming about your feelings about having a relationship with someone of your own gender. I think you worry too much about this. Are you having a good satisfying sexual relationship with your husband? In most cases many couples go through a phase like this when they are unhappy sexually, and they look for substitutes. I know, I've been there, done that! The guilt and shame afterward is unbelieveable! Forgive yourself, and remember that your kids and your husband will continue to love you regardless. If you are seriously involved, and repeatedly thinking of a lesbian relationship, then this is your preferred sexual interaction. Even so, you are still their wife and mother! Since you are forthcoming about this, you are much too important to waste away from feelings of guilt.
Do you realize that you are amongst about 28% of the population of the U.S. that have strong sexual fantsies about members of their own sex? You are more normal than you think!
You are intelligent, articulate, and you have reached out for help. You, because of this, are healthier than most people. Talk to your husband, and tell him everything about your feelings. If he loves you, he will be the happiest husband knowing that you trust him so much that you wouldn't keep anything from him! He will certainly forgive you. Forgive yourself, and enjoy your kids. The words of the cross are meant for you. That's the end of it. Your forgiven already.

Answer 7

This can turn out to be a very serious matter. All I can or should say at this point is that God is totally against men lying with men and woman lying with woman. And Maybe your faith is being tested. And I hope that you can curb your sexual attitude and stay in the realms of normalcy's. I don't know how your faith in God stands right now, But I will recommend that seek help and guidance right now, before you make an error that could really affect the rest of your and your families lives ......................

Answer 8

Your seceret will come out sooner or later. Perhaps you should think about letting your husband know. Your husband and children deserve to know the truth. Otherwise, you are headed for trouble. Think about how devistated they will be when you leave them for another woman, which will no doubt happen some day.

Answer 9

you need to do what is best for you and obviously trying to live a straight life is not working. talk to your husband. at first i'm sure there will be some hurt and anger. but the old saying time heals all wounds is tried and true. i hope i have helped a little and that things get better

Answer 10

Mmmm well am not sure what you tell you. It might be something that is lacking in your household that you feel you might need as affection in a mother's touch in that sense. Whatever it is, you need to ask yourself is it worth losing or damaging your life and the future of your family for something that might just keep you satisfied for a month or two.

Your the only one that can control the direction your life goes.

Just keep praying. stay in prayer. that's the only thing that can change your life circle

I would stay on my knee's and pray for god to take that desire out of your mind completely