pregnant and just starting freshman year in college... help please!?

Question

I am into about 8 weeks as a college freshman and recently found out i was pregnant by my boyfriend. I have known him for years and we've been great friends got together about 6 months ago. I am not sure what to do because between the both of us we would not be able to afford a child. And I live on campus about 45 minutes away from where he lives. I am unsure whether to have an abortion or to have a child. Please any advice would help!

i've talked with him and he is just as worried and unsure as i am... we would love to have a child but it is really bad timing for us...

he knows that i am pregnant... he was with me when i took the pregnancy test

Answer 1

I have two friends who were in this situation at your age and who kept the baby. One is finishing her last year of engineering school and is engaged, and one just began her first year of law school. All three of us are currently twenty-one. I myself recently had my first daughter.

If you don't believe in abortion, please have the baby. You will only torture yourself if you have an abortion. Don't worry about school--you can finish school with a baby if you really want to. Don't make your child your excuse for failure--make her your inspiration for success.

You can afford the baby.

As a young mother in school, you would have access not only to increased financial aid and scholarship funds, but also food stamps and WIC, and there is no harm in using them if you need them--especially since you are in school and on your way to being a productive member of society.

The financial aid budget at your school should allow you sufficient funding to provide housing which is more than adequate for yourself and your baby--especially if you are able to live at home for the summer.

WIC would allow you to acquire the notoriously expensive infant formula at no cost to you.

When the school year begins, child care options on campus may be available to you, but I would place myself on the waiting list the second I decided I wanted the baby--especially if I attended a large public school. Programs like Early Head Start are also available to young mothers who have low income for such reasons as being enrolled in school.

As for baby items, if you have any relatives with toddlers or young children, they may have a number of baby items in storage at their homes which they would gladly let you have. I had a bouncer, a swing and an insane amount of baby clothes given to me and I didn't even have a baby shower. Consignment and other secondhand stores are also an excellent resource for these sorts of things. Check out suburban consignment stores or consignment stores in "better" parts of town for great deals on items which are new or near-new.

You can even acquire also of brand new items for baby by planning in advance. Figure out what age she'll be during the winter, spring, fall and summer, and buy clothes for her for those stages when they go on sale within the next several months. Have a girlfriend throw you a baby shower. Throw a diaper dinner (wherein the 'price of admission' is a package of diapers). Research programs dedicated to helping young mothers in your area.

Lastly, remember that strict budgeting is your best friend. Bargain hunt online. Cribs, for instance, vary in cost between $100 and several hundred dollars. Many times, the $200 crib is just as good as the $500 one. Purchase items gradually, but never more than you can afford. Beware of credit card debt. Avoid charging more than 50% of any credit card's limit and always be sure you can pay at least 2x the minimal payment on any card you use or consider using.

I hope you make the right decision for you, and God bless. Feel free to message me if you want to talk to someone.

Answer 2

You can do it, trust me. I am going to nursing school and I have a 15 month old son, and a 4 month old daughter. Yes, it is more work than it would have been but I would not trade a moment for anything. Please understand that everything WILL work out for you and you will love your baby no matter what! Once you hold him/her you will know you made the right choice. You can get financial aid through the state, FAFSA, and if you apply now your financial aid should be in by the time the baby is born. Through fafsa you can get your entire college tuition paid for, and plus some extra to live on. Check with your campus, I'm positive they will make an expetion for you not to have to live on campus, you and your boyfriend could get a place inbetween where you two live, and then you would only have about a 20 minute commute which really isn't so bad. Talk about it, remember the baby takes nine very long months to arrive and you will have plenty of time to work things out. If you need help or info about finacial aid please e-mail me, I'd be glad to do anything I can. [e-mail]

Answer 3

ok we don't need to be fighting about abortion on here people....

I'd say talk with someone at your school if you feel comfortable with that. Your college should have some sort of health counseling program for sensitive matters like that. I'd say that if you don't think you will be able to raise the baby properly (in terms of money and a home, etc.), then don't go through with it. But if it is something that you really want and think you can do, go for it. Can you be a good mother? Are you ready for that kind of responsibility.

P.S. Next time, think about this: If you think you're responsible enough to have sex and deal with ALL the consequences of it, then you should be able to take the responsibility of having a child, no matter how hard it might be.

Answer 4

For the sake of the unborn child please go through the pregnancy.
This child may grow up and make the world a better place and we'll never know if this child does not get the chance to live.
It may be easier in the long term and for peice of mind for you to have this child. Consider adoption because there is so many people out there who are unable to give birth to children. In this way you may know that you did what is right for this child.

This has to be one of the most difficult situations people are ever in. Any choice you make now will impact you for the rest of your life. I encourage you to make a choice that you can live with. And with absolute certainty you did the right thing, or you will always have regret. I would always encourage a mother to seek whats best for her child and I'd have to say the same for an expecting mother. From now on the decisions should be shifted from whats best for me right now to whats best for this child and myself in the future.

Money is a worry but no money in the world can buy a human being, I hope that you realise the potential worth of this child. God bless.

Answer 5

Things happen, and that is why we have to be careful on what we do. This is a blessing that you are pregnant even thou you are in college. Yes is cost to bring a child into this world, you both should understand what you both did together and with the grace of the Lord you both can make it. It all takes one day at a time and you both need to really talk all of this out. As for a abortion I fill that you should not even thank of doing that but give the child to addoption if you both cant take care of it or ask your family members.

Answer 6

You don't have time, you can't afford it...he lives too far away...please!! why didn't you think about these things before you had sex. How terrible that you're now being inconvenienced. You should have thought about that before. Now it's too late. Get a job. Go to school part time. Move closer to each other or move in together. Give it up for adoption, or better yet, get responsible. I hate women who use abortion as a form of birth control because the timing is "not good for them"

One thing's for sure, if you do decide to not have an abortion, please give the child up for adoption. You definately are not responsible enough to give the child what it will need the most...love and nurturing. You're both (you and your boyfriend) are too into yourselves to have the ability to care for someone who will depend on you 100%. Next time THINK!!!!!

Answer 7

Nobody can tell you what you should do. Having a child changes your life dramatically. I would not trade my son for the world, but it is not easy... A child changes everything, you are no longer your number 1 priority. They control your whole life, from the time you get up to the time you go to bed..... But, an abortion can really have an emotional effect on you. There is no easy answer, just do what is right for you. If you plan on getting an abortion though, you should do it as soon as possible. It will only get harder on you, and more expensive. Plus the ethical questions involved become more complex the longer you wait.....Good luck with whatever you decide......

Answer 8

I think you know the answer already. Have the abortion, put it behind you and make the most of your education. There is no reason to feel guilty. You are certainly not the first couple in this situation. It would be worse to bring an unwanted child into the world.

When you are ready to start a family, do so. Bring a planned child into the world, one you can fully devote to as he/she deserves.

Answer 9

If you know for sure that you cannot afford to carry the fetus to term and/or afford to take care of it. Do yourself a favor, first get an abortion. Depending on which state you are in, you may have to cross the state line to get one. Second...after you heal from the abortion...get on the pill, or an IUD (lasts from 5 to 10 years) if you know that you do want to have a child later but not right now.

Answer 10

Simple answer.Ask yourself this question- Will this baby have everything it needs,from material things to your time and affection. Don't punish this baby because you're not ready to care for it 100% There are other alternatives to abortion. You can always go to school but you don't get a second chance to fix the mental anguish of this child if you neglect he or she in anyway. You should also talk to your family. He should too.