Ok, these are the facts
we've been together for three years now
he has two children by different women none of which are mine. (although I'm possibly pregnant)
We've recently moved to another state away from both children and mothers.
He claims to want to spend the rest of his life with me but doesn't want marriage and has no feelings towards either of his children's mom whatsoever .
HOWEVER the letter describes him as having no one in his life and doesnt and expresses love for her but states that he doesn't want anyone in his life right now so they will not be together. Also states that he cant "commit to anyone" because of her.
He is currently on child support for only one of his children and the child who is not on any support is the mother he wrote the letter to.
I would appreciate womens opinions should I confront him beings though he purposely hid the letter.
I would appreciate mens comments on maybe an interpretation of what exactly is going through his mind.
2006-10-19 14:54:38 · 15 answers · asked by guestuser 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
ok but why would he move to a totally different state with me where he knows absolutely no one when he had a few opportunities to be with her and be happy together. I have honestly told him if that's what he wants to go right ahead. I've almost encouraged him to be with her but he won't leave. .
2006-10-19 15:12:16 · update #1
Listen: Sad enough. But who shall tell you, given the fact that
HE HIMSELF DOESN'T KNOW - apparently / obviously.
It's s bad situation.
You need both, a lawyer for you and a psychiatrist for him
2006-10-19 14:58:57 · answer #1 · answered by Enrico 2 · 1⤊ 2⤋
I think you should be the bigger man and break up. I'm sorry to say that. But he's possibly juggling 2 women at the same time ie you and his ex. And the moment his ex decides to take him back, he would dump you unexpectedly, in a totally different town where you dont know anyone etc, with an excuse that he has a kid with her and wanna try working out with her etc. At least this way you can expect it and if you sincerely think he should go back to her.
Also he sounds irresponsible, making women pregnant and not taking care of the children. What if you get pregnant (and possibly pregnant as u said) and he leaves you for her that time? Thats sickening.
No point confronting him with the letter coz he'd only say that he wrote the letter before he met you and forgot about it. Cowardly men never will confess they're wrong unless caught in the act.
2006-10-19 22:24:42 · answer #2 · answered by Liz^24 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, it's clear he must have some motive behind this. you must first think about this. men sometimes say what a woman want to hear to get what they want. I'm not saying this is the case but don't say anything just yet. a man is like a dog they will always leave some type of evidence. the letter well you claim it was hidden. ( surprise if it was hidden you couldn't find it.) not saying he wanted you to but let him hing his self. have you asked him why he won't commit to you. if you have then maybe you should move on with your life because in so many words that's what he's telling you.
2006-10-19 22:00:14 · answer #3 · answered by slimchuckie 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Confront him with the letter at hand, he is running around thinking that he can treat people how ever the hell he wants and thinks that he can get away with it. he thinks he's so slick, he think he's the man, show it to him when he least expects it!!
if he did what he did to the other women, what makes you think that he will not do it to you!?!? it's a possibility that you are pregnant, that was probably what caused him to run away from the other women that he impregnated, meanwhile, it was his penis that caused them to get pregnant!!! this will probably be his motive for escape, you don't want to end up with those other women with their innocent fatherless children, that's not right!!
you don't wan to end up on his child support list do you?!?!?
this is the reason why he is writing letters to other women, does he know that you are pregnant? if he does, this is this is probably his motive for escape, he is nothing but a sperm donater!!
he's an ***, give it to him when he least expects it!!!
2006-10-19 22:06:54 · answer #4 · answered by sexyblackmomba 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
He may still love her for the mother of his children, and those comments he wrote, "...because of her.." was just to pacify her, avoiding to hurt her feelings. And after having proof-read his own letter, I don't blame him for hiding it for the reason that he has nothing to hide, eccept that if you confront him about it, you're more than likely not to believe him even if he told you the truth-meaning three yrs doesn't exactly "closet" away any insecure feelings you may have harbored or may still harbor. He's only hiding it merely for the sake of avoiding a dead issue arguement
2006-10-19 22:02:19 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Confront him! Put him on the defense and keep him there. Without that piece of paper saying," Until death do us part." You are standing on fine sand. I suggest you give all the sex and affection to the point of exhaustion. Make the advancement daily and when ever he needs attention.
He will be so pooped, his testosterone will be ZERO. With out this Harmonie, he will be silly putty in your arms.
Grandpa
2006-10-19 22:05:34 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
if it were me i would comfront this person and sit and have a very long talk about your feelings for each other..and i would ask him if he really had feelings for you or if he is just playing you..don't let him play with your heart like that if he loves you then stay with him but if you feel like you are not being treated right or you feel he dosn't love you then leave and find someone better but get the truth first and get all your feelings out in the open before you make a big disicion like that..hope i helped.
2006-10-19 22:00:23 · answer #7 · answered by Amanda K 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I would get rid of him, but thats me. I had a bad experience and dont trust any man. I have been divorced from a violent lying cheating pig for 10 years.He was that bad the court stopped him from coming near me or our daughter.
2006-10-19 22:00:07 · answer #8 · answered by ..:: 4NN3 MON D4H HOOPS::.. 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Yes, confront him with it... the sooner, the better... don't let him think he's getting away with it even one more day.
He undoubtedly wouldn't like it if you had done it to him... being sneaky doesn't help strengthen a relationship... love/trust does.
If he can't commit to anyone because of her, then he's either still married to her or still loves her.
2006-10-19 22:06:49 · answer #9 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
honey thats to much drama for you to be dealing with, I would confront him,if the letter stated he cant commit to anyone because of her why are you with him? he should have said he couldnt to commit to her because he loves you!!! dont get it twisted hes playing games
2006-10-19 22:35:34 · answer #10 · answered by val l 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You should not only confront him, you should be out the front door without looking back. Get yourself some counseling if you aren't able to see yourself clear to do this!!
2006-10-19 21:56:27 · answer #11 · answered by Just Ducky 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋