For those that have been married and divorced, what are the pros and cons?

Question

Is it possible to just do it one time without all the back and forth?

Answer 1

Sure it is. You have to make sure you know yourself, and the person you're marrying...you have to agree BEFORE you marry on the important things, and REALLY agree...not just say it.

You also have to realize that marriage requires effort. It isn't this fairy tale...and they lived happily ever after...thing. Some days it's going to really suck...and some days it won't.

If I had my "druthers", I'd have liked to do it right, and not ended up getting divorced. The reality is, I screwed up on several levels. I married too young...too quickly...didn't know him well enough...and we never actually agreed on anything, including the time of day (seriously..if he asked me the time, and I said 7 p.m., he'd say, no..it's 7:01.) However, I didn't do it right...and I was smart enough (finally) to cut my losses and get out.

Put the effort into making sure you're the person and you're maryring the right person, and you'll find you have a better chance of making a go of it.

Good luck!

Answer 2

I am not sure what you are asking. If you are asking is it possible to get married just once and stick with it, yes it is possible. The statistics say that slightly over 50% of all marriages end in divorce, that includes second marriages (which have an even higher divorce rate) However, that also means that just under 50% of all marriages don't end in divorce. It depends on whether you are an optimistic person or a pessimistic person on which way you will lean towards. I have been married twice and divorced, but I still believe that marriages can last a lifetime. I believe that the key is Commitment, Communication, Compatibility.

If you are asking if it is possible to get a divorce from your spouse cleanly without the back and forth, yes you can! Again all it takes is for both parties to be committed to going through with it, communicating their needs and expectations clearly (and respectfully hearing the others too), and this time Civility. After all, at one time you both loved each other enough to take the vows, the very least you can do is leave with both your dignity and you integrity intact.

Answer 3

I am on my 2nd marriage and so far, so good. I can tell you this, life would be much less complicated for me and much easier for my daughter if I had stayed with her father. Now instead of fighting all the time we have no communication. We both miss out on things at her school. We miss holidays. We miss kissing her goodnight every night. The "cons" of the marriage don't look so bad after you live through the "cons" of the divorce. Best to stay together and make it work. You know the old saying "the grass always looks greener on the other side?" Well, there's a reason that saying is used so often. Not saying you can't make a good life with another spouse. I am very happy with my husband. But we have all lived through years of court battles, fighting, guilt, sleepless nights, missing my child. The list goes on and on. At least in the marriage I had some control and I knew what the fights were about. Life now is much harder. My advice, get it right the first time and stick by your choice.

Answer 4

Sometimes people change. Sometimes they slowly kill the love you have for them one harsh word at a time so that by the time it's over, you don't even feel anything. And then it's easy to move on. Of course, you have to be pretty tenacious to make it that far.....what I have learned is the best spouse is the one you can be best friends with at the end of the day, after the initial "oh my gosh I'm in love/lust" phase passes; unfortunately, it took more than once for me to find this person. But hey, what doesn't kill you only makes you stronger!

Answer 5

Ihad a great husband but we just were not compatable after 8 years of marriage.I think that it can be a wonderful thing with the right person.Just make sure that you are ready for a lifetime commitment before jumping in.I wish that we would have realized sooner we were not right for each other.We are friends now and we get along great.

Answer 6

You are joking right? Divorce is the worst place to be in the world. No one takes this step lightly

Answer 7

Fortunately I had a very civil divorce. I like being married cuz of joint income, joint childcare, you can actually have a companion as opposed to being alone.
Being single def has its perks too. Freedom, not having to answer to anyone, etc...

Answer 8

i got married at 21-inlust-thinking it was true love--and i did 100% love the guy--i thought he was when we met! but he never was that guy--i attributed all kinds of good qualities to him -the ones i needed in a relationship---just because i believed he had them. i fought with him for 6 yrs. thinking i could bring him to his senses! ha! yes i was deluded! in reality-he's an ok guy-just not what i needed for me!
anyway-after he left- i went to church and gave my heart to God. he washed away alot of the messes and hurts in my life that i was trying to get husband #1 to fix. A year later my soon to be new husband walked in and it was pretty much love at first sight for both of us.(now it was that way the first time too-but this time it was different---)His wife had left him. We both wanted to be married--we both knew we weren't blameless in our previous marriages-but most importantly-we both felt and understood God in the same way!I won't tell you the fact that we're both believers makes it all hunky-dory-but-he and i can feel the power of GOd working in our lives....we also have the same value system. we both have God to look to when we see each other doing something wrong to one or the other--and i can say-that ain't right! and withdraw to my Bible and talk to God about it all...and he does too-so-it's just neat! i believe God meant for us to be together at the point when we did come together-because we wouldn't have had the experiences and heartaches that we needed in order to appreciate each other! so- i would say, Seek ye first the kingdom of God and all these things shall be added unto you.---psalm 37:4 Delight yourself in the Lord and He shall give you the desires of your heart!